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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29406816">the rose perceives that it is an engine of war</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alees_sa/pseuds/alees_sa'>alees_sa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anime Spoilers (S1-S4), Established Relationship, F/M, I'm a Erwin-should-have-lived believer, Implied/Referenced Sex, No beta we just die I guess, OC centric, Protective Erwin Smith, Protective Levi Ackerman, Sorry Sasha, anime based with some manga sprinkled in there for the funsies, emotional girls are still strong girls, i wrote this because I love Erwin ok, self-indulgent OC fic because of courseeeee, this OC is sappy and cries a lot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:36:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>70,390</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29406816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alees_sa/pseuds/alees_sa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Suzuru Koshikawa may be one of the last descendants of the Oriental Clan still alive within the Walls. Naturally, she enlists with the Survey Corps and joins Squad Erwin and becomes a Squad Captain and marries Erwin and meets a Titan-shifter and saves Erwin from an ill-timed death. In that order - sort of. </p><p>She only has two motivations in life: 1) Erwin Smith, and 2) Discovering the truth behind the Truth. If she has to take down Titans and knock some Nobles off their high horses, then so be it.</p><p>---</p><p>“The Truth?” Erwin asked, speaking for the first time that night. </p><p>“I will tell it to you,” I said, defiant and determined. </p><p>“We are not alone.” </p><p>I would never forget the way Erwin’s eyes lit up and shined. That light in his eyes lived on as we joined the ranks of the Scouts. Erwin faced every expedition with those same bright eyes. The Truth granted him the drive to give his heart. As Erwin gave his heart to finding the truth, I dedicated my heart to him. </p><p>--- </p><p>OC-centric, First-Person POV, Erwin/OFC established relationship, follows SNK Anime S1-4, some manga spoilers.</p><p>Updates every weekend! (I'll try my best lol)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eren Yeager &amp; Original Female Character(s), Erwin Smith &amp; Original Female Character(s), Erwin Smith/Original Female Character(s), Hange Zoë &amp; Original Female Character(s), Levi Ackerman &amp; Original Female Character(s), Mikasa Ackerman &amp; Original Female Character(s), Mike Zacharias &amp; Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 0 - Liberio</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just another OC fic :) </p><p>Started this at 3AM, so please set your expectations! I would still love to read any comments you may have.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Prologue</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I never minded the way many soldiers in the Survey Corps looked to me as a mother figure. I didn’t mind comforting fresh recruits the night before their first expedition, allowing them to curl into me until they fell into a fitful sleep. I always had a smile for even the most battle-hardened soldiers and did my best to ease the pain as I patched them up in the middle of the battlefield. The other Squad Leaders almost always unconsciously passed on any downcast and snot-nosed Scouts my way and I always found that I knew exactly what to say to stop their sniffling. Many times I’ve comforted Scouts – both veteran and greenhorned – during the toughest moments in their time as soldiers. I’ve wept over the deaths of many comrades. I attended every funeral – body or none. I insisted Erwin take his rest and spent all-nighters finishing letters to parents and spouses who lost their loved ones. I could put a name to every face in the Survey Corps. I made sure everyone went to bed with full stomachs and a cozy blanket. I made it a point to be sweet and kind to even the rudest and most stubborn soldiers. Others have criticized me for how I babied the Scouts, but it was just my way. The moment a soldier offered their heart to the Survey Corps, I welcomed them into mine. It wasn’t a stretch to say that I sincerely cared about every single soldier that has joined the Survey Corps since I became an officer.</p><p>Before I married Erwin, he made it very clear that he had no intention of bringing a child into the world until after he discovered the truth behind the Truth. I had my own reasons for not wanting children, but still I found myself in this maternal role. While many of the Scouts depended on me for comfort, they were also protective of me. Over the years, I’ve faced more and more protests when I expressed any wish to join an expedition. My comrades always had hundreds of reasons prepared for why I should choose to stay back and wait for the expedition to return. Someone needed to stay behind and watch over headquarters. Someone needed to attend this meeting as Acting Commander. Someone had to be waiting to welcome them home. Over the years, I stopped fighting against my children’s wishes. They could be just as selfish as I was.  </p><p>So, no one stopped me when I wrapped my arms around Eren when he finally, <em>finally</em> returned to us. Minutes ago, we were in the middle of explosions and bloodshed, but now I was just incredibly glad to have my child safe with me again. It’s been over a year since Eren was lost to us. I spent weeks agonizing over his fate. He was a whole ocean away and I was constantly afraid we wouldn’t be able to answer his call for help fast enough. The worrying and dread could end now that Eren was back with us. The Scouts were whole again.</p><p>Even though Levi <em>tsk-ed</em> and Erwin and Hanji watched on stoically, I hugged Eren even tighter to me and wept loudly. I didn’t care one bit if Zeke Jaeger was there to witness it. I didn’t care that Eren was once again bound in chains. I didn’t care that the overall mood was tense and extremely wrong because even Armin and Mikasa could barely look Eren in the eye. I only cared about my child returning home. I cried tears of relief and joy because Eren was with us once more. Reunited, we could take on anything – even a declaration of war from the rest of the world.  </p><p>“Welcome back, Eren,” I managed to sob out, tears continuously streaming down my face. Eren gazed at me with wide, Titan eyes and his hands were holding on to me too. His grip was warm to the touch and would surely leave minor burns. I didn’t care. He was back. He was back. He was back. I saw everything in his eyes. Eren’s regret, fear, and uncertainty. Eren’s unwavering determination. He didn’t say a word, but it was the most expressive he’s been since he boarded the airship.</p><p>“I have returned, Captain Suzu.” The small smile on Eren’s face made me cry out and throw my arms around him once more.</p><p>I only let him go when Jean announced that we were on the brink of losing another child close to my heart. I had to leave Eren to the wolves – made up of his half-brother, Erwin, Hanji, and Levi. I knelt on the ground and held on to Connie, Mikasa, and Armin – my children who have been through too much in their too short lives. We remained with Sasha until her final breath. We rescued one child only to lose another. When would the suffering end?</p><p>I wept the entire journey home to Paradis.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 1 - Shiganshina</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Suzuru recovers from the near-death experience that was the fall of Shiganshina. There's not much to do but reminisce. </p><p>---</p><p>WARNINGS: Implications of incest, rape. No graphic scenes.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yayyyy Ch. 1 </p><p>---</p><p>WARNINGS: Implications of incest, rape. No graphic scenes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took me an entire year to recover from the aftermath of the Fall of Shiganshina. I spent much of that time simply remembering.</p><p>I remembered my first home was a creaky cabin in the woods. I remembered my cruel father and my pitiful mother. I remembered my five brothers – all of whom loved me in their own ways. We lived so close to the Wall. I would crane my neck and still wouldn’t see the top of it.</p><p>My life in the forest was an easy one. I learned to cook, clean, and sew and in between my mother taught me letters. One set she called the Common and the other she called the Oriental.  Mother loved her books, she had several of them. Her favorite stories were the fantastical ones: stories about flying carriages, erasing memories, dealing with devils, and consuming the remains of a corpse. Mother taught me letters through these stories. Other times, she taught me how to brew concoctions and heal my brothers’ cuts earned from roughhousing. She taught me little rituals she liked to call Traditions. My mother taught me everything I know.</p><p>Meanwhile, my brothers hunted in the forest every morning and returned with game for our lunch and supper. Only our father ever left the forest. Mother said he was an important man with important business.</p><p>First, my youngest brother disappeared. Nagisa. Then Kaito and then Hama. Father refused to kill my two eldest brothers, so next to die was mother. When mother was gone, father announced that we were moving to live with People. My brothers were ecstatic. They were tired of playing with their boring sister. The night before we moved, father implored us children to listen.</p><p>“I will only speak of this once. You are not to ask questions. You are not to repeat any word of this until it is time to pass down the knowledge when you have children of your own. Am I understood?”</p><p>“Yes, father,” us children said in chorus.</p><p>“Humanity that lives within the Walls are no better than sheep, living life unaware that wolves lurk behind them. Only the humans who can remember the Truth are the ones worthy of living. Now, I will tell you the Truth and you children must swear to never forget it. Do you swear?”</p><p>“Yes, father,” we chorused once more.</p><p>“Good. Now listen carefully to the Truth: <em>We are not alone</em>.”</p><p>But for a long time, I was alone. I bled for the first time the night before my 12<sup>th</sup> birthday. My father and eldest brother’s gleeful smiles made me shudder. It was my second brother, Jiro, who helped me escape.</p><p>“They won’t be up for a long time. I laced their dinner with your Poppy brew.”</p><p>“Jiro! Why─”</p><p>My brother shushed me. “You can’t stay here, or they will use you. Run away, Suzuru. Do everything you must to live. Strip the color from your hair. Grow it long, make sure it covers your eyes. Change your name so they can’t find you. Am I understood?”</p><p>“But, Jiro, I don’t want to─”</p><p>“Our father intends for us to live as rabbits for breeding. You’ll pop out babies until he can afford to live like the King in Sina. Run away, Suzuru. Never come back. Run away and <em>live</em>. Live, Maria dammit! Live! Swear it! Do you swear?”</p><p>On the night before her 12<sup>th</sup> birthday, Suzuru Koshikawa drugs her family and is never found again until years later.</p><p>The next day, Susan Kellarmanne enlists in the Cadet Corps.</p><p>I was not Top 10 material, but I only needed to pass training to enlist with the Survey Corps. I was happy to receive a warm welcome from the Scouts. They were the smallest regiment within the Walls, so any warm body was welcome. My knowledge in foraging and brewing concoctions was useful in expeditions. Titan kills and ODM proficiency could be refined in the battlefield.</p><p>I speak the Truth for the first time to Erwin Smith. Although we belonged under the same Training Corps, I barely knew him. I reached out to him the night of our cadet graduation. After all, there were only so many of us joining the Scouts.</p><p>When I found him, he was despondent. It looked as if he was grieving. The Erwin Smith I found that night was very different from his reputation as crafty and charismatic soldier. I would find out later that he had just returned from acting as witness for Nile Dok’s wedding. Despite knowing nothing about him, all I wanted in that moment was to comfort him and make him feel better.</p><p>So, I chattered on as Erwin grieved. Weaved stories in the same way my mother did for me all those years ago. I told Erwin I wanted to join the Survey Corps so I could see the carriages that flew like birds. I wanted to find the memories that were stolen. I wanted to defeat the devil that drove humanity into the Walls. I wanted to see for myself if the Truth really was true.</p><p>“The Truth?” Erwin asked, speaking for the first time that night.</p><p>“I will tell it to you,” I said, defiant and determined.</p><p>“We are not alone.”</p><p>I would never forget the way Erwin’s eyes lit up and shined. That light in his eyes lived on as we joined the ranks of the Scouts. Erwin faced every expedition with those same bright eyes. The Truth granted him the drive to give his heart. As Erwin gave his heart to finding the truth, I dedicated my heart to him.</p><p>Training to become a true Scout was far more grueling than Cadet training. Aside from learning how to take down Titans, we needed to learn about the Scouts’ special horses, the official formations, and the goals and history of the regiment. We needed to spend night and day with our Squads and be so attuned to them so that once we exited the Walls, we could defend each other without having to speak a word.</p><p>Somehow, Erwin and I found time to spend together. He wanted to hear more about the Truth and my mother’s fantasy stories. He had his own truths to share – the teachings passed down from his father. Rumors of Erwin’s captivating charisma and sharp mind rang true. He caught me in his whirlwind of ambition, and I was in it for the deep end. There was no doubt I would follow him to the ends of the world to fulfill his dreams. The only thing stronger than my belief in him was my own secret love for the man.</p><p>Erwin’s impressive tactics and level-headedness in the battlefield earned him the rank of Squad Leader. I considered it a great honor to be a Scout in Squad Erwin. I worked alongside great comrades (and even better friends) like Mike and Hanji, and later on Levi. While dozens of Scouts died under the incompetent commanders, Squad Erwin lived on and prevailed. We were considered the elite squad of the Survey Corps.</p><p>Which was why Commander Shadis’ dismissal came as a colossal shock. We had just returned from another one of his unsuccessful expeditions. Rumor had it that it was his last and Shadis was to relinquish his position to Erwin. Apparently, he had one thing left to do before that.</p><p>“Survey Corps Officer Susan Kellarmanne. You officially dismissed from the Survey Corps and military duty on the counts of identity fraud and attempted murder. Effective immediately. Pack your things, girl, and get out of my sight.”</p><p>“<em>Commander!</em>” Erwin exploded. As my commanding officer, he had also been called into my meeting with Shadis. “You can’t just make her leave!”</p><p>“Shut your mouth, Smith, unless you’re wanting of a probation and court martial.”</p><p>“She is my squad member!”</p><p>“We all know what she is to you, Smith!” Shadis silenced Erwin. “This girl you love is a fraud! She faked her identity and joined the military because she attempted to murder her family. Your love is a killer and I am saving you from her disgrace! I will hear nothing more. Your business is done here, Smith. Get out of my office!”</p><p>If Erwin defied a direct order from the Commander, he risked the ultimate setback on his singular ambition. Erwin lived to discover the truth of the Walls and the truth of humanity. I could see he was about to protest but I couldn’t let myself be a burden to him. Erwin needed to achieve his goal. He dedicated his whole life to avenging the memory of his father. Erwin’s life had great purpose. He was the only man who could lead the Survey Corps and humanity to victory. Even back then, I believed in him with all of my heart. For the sake of humanity and for the sake of <em>Erwin</em>, I obeyed Commander Shadis’ order. That decision nearly cost me my life.</p><p>My eldest brother awaited me at the gates of the Scouts headquarters. He didn’t speak a word to me, but the look on his face told me everything I needed to know. Father was dead. Jiro was dead too. I was next in line to die once my brother was done with me and fulfilled our father’s sick dream. He came prepared with mercenaries who prevented my escape. Our return to Shiganshina was a half-day worth of travel. My brother ignored me the entire time and I slept, the only way I could escape this living nightmare.</p><p>His hired men rough-handled me into the same house I ran away from before I turned 12 years old. They threw me into the room on the upper floor and locked me in until my brother entered. He wasted no time and wordlessly removed his belt. He was just as sick and twisted as our father.</p><p>Then the Titan appeared and everything went further into hell.</p><p>The first kick the destroyed the gate flung heavy debris all over Shiganshina district. My old house was not spared from the destruction. I couldn’t feel my left leg, but I could see that it was crushed underneath a broken piece of the gate. The tip of Maria’s crown glinted in my eyes, as if mocking me for my ill fate. The screeching steam from the giant Titan quieted down, only to be replaced by the cries of the citizens of Shiganshina. The lucky ones were the ones crushed in the initial blast. The able-bodied ran like mindless sheep toward the only gate that led into the rest of Wall Maria. Those like me had it worst. Immobile, but still alive. There was nothing I could do but wait with bated breath until a Titan consumed me.</p><p>Only hours ago, I had been a Titan-killer outside the Wall the giant Titan decimated with a single kick. As a member of Squad Erwin, my personal Titan Count was nearing a hundred. But now, I could do nothing but lie in wait until a monster I was trained to kill ate me.</p><p>It shamed me to think this way, but one thing that day made me smile. My brother had been crushed under the same debris that destroyed my left leg. Maria was a cruel goddess, but she still had her own sense of justice. With the death of my father and Jiro, my eldest brother was most probably the last pure male Oriental left alive. Until Maria crushed him to death. His and our father’s sick dream would never come to fruition. I would be allowed to die in peace.</p><p>But it didn’t mean that I wanted to die.</p><p>“H-Hanji? Hanji, save me!” I couldn’t help but call out even though there was no one alive around me to hear. I called for my Squad. I was small and fast on the ODM, making me the perfect bait for Titans. It was a common formation we took when we were outside the Walls. I flew dangerously close to incoming Titans and when they were distracted with me, they were taken down by my Squad. No matter how close I was to the jaws of Titans, I could always trust that my Squad would take them down in time. They were my closest comrades and my dearest friends. We looked out for each other no matter what. It was no wonder that I would call out for them now.</p><p>They would save me. I knew they would.</p><p>“Mike? Don’t leave me! Please! I’m still here!”</p><p>“Levi? Levi, please! Please, Levi! Help me! <em>Help me!</em>”</p><p>“Erwin…Erwin? Help me. Please…save me.”</p><p>“<em>Erwin!</em>”</p><p>I quieted down immediately, going as far as to clamp a hand over my mouth when I heard it. The heavy stomps of a weightless monster. There was a Titan coming – no, <em>running</em> this way. When it caught sight of me – whether it be a monstrous 10-meter or a measly 3-meter, it would reach down with its human-like hands and pluck me from where I lay. Perhaps it would pull hard enough and even leave my left leg behind. Or maybe the Titan wouldn’t waste anytime at all with picking me up. Maybe the Titan would bend down and eat me straight from the ground.</p><p>
  <em>Run, my Squad – run! Save yourselves! Leave me here. Just one last time, I can distract them. But make sure you live! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Run away and live! </em>
</p><p>The Titan ran past me. An Abnormal.</p><p>It ran past me and managed to kick away the piece of the gate crushing my leg. I gasped even though I continued to feel nothing on the left side of my body. I gasped at the sight of my brother’s dead body, flying above me before landing on in a heap atop another corpse.</p><p>My brother’s body landed on top of a dead Garrison soldier – a soldier who had managed to strap on his ODM.</p><p>There was still a way. I could still live.</p><p>
  <em>“Run away, Suzuru. Never come back. Run away and live. Live, Maria dammit! Live! Swear it! Do you swear?”</em>
</p><p>I swear it, Jiro ─ I swear it! I would live! I would live and know the truth about the Truth. I would live and find Erwin again. Live and love him like I should have this whole time.</p><p>Even with a mangled leg, I could still fly with the ODM. The unit had hardly been touched and the gas tanks were full. The soldier had probably died before he even had the chance to move. I owed my life to that Garrison soldier and I didn’t even know his name. I traveled on the roofs still standing, allowing the ODM’s wires to pull me above from the gripping hands of the Titans. I turned a blind eye to the suffering citizens calling out to me from below. The guilt would remain with me forever – but this was the way to live.</p><p>Titans followed crowds and I followed the Titans. Citizens were crowding at the docks, trying to get a spot on the boat. The crowd was sparsely guarded by Garrison soldiers shaking in their boots. Other soldiers were helplessly trying to maintain order. Getting on the boat was not an ordered operation but a game of luck.</p><p>The last thing I remember was jumping from the closest roof and landing in a boat. There could have been a commotion about it, affronted cries calling out the injustice. <em>Why did she get on the boat? We’ve been here this whole time! It should have been me first! </em>I passed out before I could face the protests.</p><p>The first things I saw when I woke up were Erwin’s shining, unwavering, and <em>bright</em> blue eyes.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Really just a self-indulgent fic! I wrote it to get it out of my system. But I would still love to hear anything you have to say!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 1.5 - After Shiganshina</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There are flashes of consciousness – too few seconds of awareness that I am able to retain shortly after dropping onto the evacuation boat. There was jostling and there were angry voices.  Then there was the sensation of being lifted. There was poking and prodding, and then lifting again. I felt myself opening my eyes a few times, but I never registered what I was seeing. From irritated and vile, the voices turned softer and more caring. I knew every part of me should have hurt but I felt absolutely nothing. That made me afraid to wake up.</p><p>Eventually, I had to. Later on, I would be informed that I properly first opened my eyes a full week after the fall of Shiganshina. And when I did, I opened my eyes to Erwin Smith.</p><p>“Marry me.”</p><p>I opened my eyes to a <em>marriage proposal </em>from Erwin Smith.</p><p>“Am I dead?” After everything that happened, it was believable. But if I was dead then that meant Erwin was too. I didn’t want to accept that. Maybe I just conjured up a copy of Erwin to join me in the afterlife seconds before I passed away. I could see myself doing that without even having to think about it. Even this whole marriage proposal seemed to be plucked straight out of the desires stirring in my mind. After years of <em>I’m in no position to love, Suzu, when I can die tomorrow </em>of course this would be what greeted me in whatever came after death. It was a gift of sweet release. I was happy to die if this is what faced me after life.</p><p>“You tried your best,” Erwin said as if consoling me, even patting my leg. I watched him do it. But I didn’t feel a thing.</p><p>“I can’t feel your hand.” My voice was quaking and my shoulders began to rock forward with trapped sobs. Everything was finally catching up to me. My dismissal for the Survey Corps, my brother’s appearance, the giant Titan breaking the Wall, and my fight to live.</p><p>I could move my upper body and I could feel it when I pinched my right thigh. I could even wiggle the toes on my right foot.</p><p>
  <em>But, but ─</em>
</p><p>“I can’t feel my left leg, Erwin.” It came out as a whisper.</p><p>Erwin moved his hand from my leg so he could grip my own hand.</p><p>“I’m here, Suzu.”</p><p>“Am I even still a soldier?” I cried. I finally noticed that we were in the infirmary in the Survey Corps headquarters. It was always empty in here, because this is where many Scouts took their final breaths. “Shadis dismissed me. Why am I here, Erwin? What’s happened?”</p><p>“Shadis is no longer Commander of the Survey Corps,” Erwin said, interrupting my panicking. “He turned his back on the Scouts and gave me the burden that was too much for him to bear. I reverted his decision. Susan Kellarmanne has always been a loyal soldier in the Survey Corps.”</p><p>“He must have reported that I faked my identity. It doesn’t matter, Erwin. I can’t feel my left leg and I’ve been dismissed from the military. It’s over for me.”</p><p>“Don’t give up,” Erwin commanded, setting his bright eyes on me. “Trust in yourself and trust me, Suzu. Choose me.”</p><p>I remembered suddenly that he started this conversation with a proposal.</p><p>“But, Erwin, you’ve always said─”</p><p>“I love you and I didn’t do right by you, Suzu,” Erwin cut me off once more. “You put your faith in me, you offered your heart to me, and I was too much of a coward to love you properly in return. I’m not making the same mistake again. Not when I’ve almost lost you.”</p><p>He didn’t allow me to get a single word in.</p><p>“From now on I want you to depend on me. I’ll be your crutch. If you need to leave the Corps, then I will follow you without question. I’ve loved you since the moment I met you and you told me your truth. Now here is my truth: my entire heart is yours. There is no way I will ever love again after you.”</p><p>“I beg you, Suzu, let me take care of you. I’ll start by marrying you. I’ll erase all records – or lack thereof – of the you from before. I will make it happen.” The conviction in his voice left no room for doubt.</p><p>“You can start fresh and be whoever you wish to be. You can be Susan or you can be Suzuru. Choose whoever you want to be.”</p><p>“And I hope,” Erwin squeezed my hand again at this. “I hope you will also choose me. Marry me, Suzu.”</p><p>“Is that an order, Commander?”</p><p>“Will you marry me, Suzu?”</p><p>“Yes,” I finally accepted, tears springing at the edge of my eyes. I could see Erwin’s eyes watering too and still so, so bright. “Suzuru Smith has a lovely ring to it, don’t you think?”</p><p>Erwin brought my hand to his lips so he could plant a kiss there.</p><p>“It sounds perfect.”</p><p>Erwin and I were married in a simple ceremony. It happened while I was still confined in the infirmary. Levi, Mike, and Hanji were our witnesses. We were the last couple a pastor from Wall Maria married before the false operation to retake humanity’s third Wall commenced. Hundreds of thousands of civilians died under the order of the King. Erwin’s first expedition as Commander was a fluke. People whispered about his icy demeanor and stoicism in the face of death. They called him a devil who didn’t care about the death of his comrades or the poor refugees from Wall Maria. But I knew differently. I was the one who held him when he returned to me, still in the infirmary. I stayed up with him as he wept the entire night after the sham of an expedition. Erwin felt every death deeply, even if the person wasn’t his soldier. He mourned every single fallen soul.</p><p>Erwin grieved differently. Where I and many others preferred to cry and spend time riding the wave of emotion, Erwin used the unjust deaths to spurn him forward. Already he had drafted plans for the next expedition, and I helped him justify every cost and every resource. Together we lobbied for more horses, for more rations, and for more provisions for our Scouts. Even from a hospital bed I was able to effectively make my case with Erwin as my mouthpiece. There was a new shine in his eyes now when Erwin looked at me.  </p><p>“You’re excellent with the military politics,” Erwin told me plainly, after another all-nighter of writing reports and requests.</p><p>“Please don’t demote me to an admin role, Erwin,” I begged. I was finally out of the infirmary, able to limp within the walls of headquarters without crutches. During my months in the infirmary, I worked with my doctors and even Hanji for long hours. We eventually found that I was not completely paralyzed on my left leg, but I experienced extensive periods of numbness and immobility. In my mind, that was as good as being paralyzed. Hanji was the most optimistic. She encouraged me (and convinced Erwin to let me) to take daily walks around headquarters. At first, I needed a crutch and supervision. Then Hanji built me a leg brace and enthused about how she could modify it so I can wear my soldier boots over it and even ride a horse. Where Erwin and Mike thought I was better off being exclusively based in headquarters (<em>“You’ve dedicated more of your life than the entire Garrison, Suzu! </em>Anyone who disagreed would face the cold wrath Survey Corps Commander), it was Hanji and Levi who were confident they could get me back in fighting shape.</p><p>“Hanji makes improvements to my leg brace every day and I’m getting better at walking without it! You know that I’m able to move with the ODM now. Levi also trains me and he doesn’t go easy. I can kill someone with a walking stick because of him! Ask Mike! Even he can’t deny it, Erwin. Please. I’m still a soldier.”</p><p>Instead of the hard stare I’ve come to associate with my husband (<em>my husband!</em>) whenever we butted our heads about this topic, there was a small and fond smile on his lips. I’m sure it was meant to comfort and placate me, but it made me all the more suspicious.</p><p>“I have no doubt it your abilities, Suzu. In fact, you astound me every day. Why don’t we agree on a compromise?” I knew from the look of his eyes that he had a goal set in his mind and his heart. He would stop at nothing to get it. I braced myself. Erwin was a master manipulator and tactician. And he was the love of my life. There was no way I was getting out of this one.</p><p>Erwin’s compromise involved an overhaul of the established Survey Corps hierarchy. He transformed the Command line into something akin to the human body. Erwin served as the head – our unwavering Commander who decided our direction and goals. Mike and Levi were Erwin’s knights and the Survey Corps’ arms, leading majority of the officers and Scouts and serving as humanity’s strongest swords against the Titans. Hanji was given the role as Erwin’s second-in-command and Captain of the Research Division, giving the Survey Corps the legs and foundation to stand on. Discovering everything about Titans in the hopes of one day defeating them was our purpose.</p><p>And me? Erwin said I was to be the heart of the Survey Corps. I was in charge of advocating for the Survey Corps to the head branch of the Military and to the other players in the politics of the Walls. That included everyone from the merchants to the Nobility. Erwin made it clear that this was not a pure desk role like I had feared. Expeditions would have two objectives moving forward: the main one being to defeat Titans and retake Wall Maria, and the secondary one was to recover anything of importance that was left behind when humanity scurried to hide behind our second Wall. I knew immediately what Erwin was trying to get at. Nobles with illegal activities going on in Wall Maria had no time to hide their mess. Merchants had stocks and ledgers they were forced to leave behind. There were many things people could desire to see recovered from Wall Maria. It allowed an opportunity to either get a favor in return or challenge them with blackmail. Our expeditions would grant us an edge the Survey Corps always needed. We would have leverage to fight for funding and more resources. In exchange for hiding dirty work and questionable activities, the Survey Corps could eat like the Military Police and have access to doctors and medicines sorely needed by the injured.</p><p>A devious one, that husband of mine.</p><p>I agreed to Erwin’s compromise and Squad Erwin was disbanded. Hanji was overjoyed to head the Research Division and immediately started begging Erwin for approval to capture Titans. Levi was tasked with leading the Special Ops Squad (the famous <em>Squad Levi</em>) and all the other ranking officers in the Survey Corps reported to Mike who directly reported to Erwin.</p><p>I led the combined division for administration and medicine. At first, I only had a measly number of part-time doctors (something I aimed to change immediately) reporting to me. I wanted to have field doctors who could tend to soldiers during expeditions and permanent Survey Corps doctors who were ready to serve in the infirmary. Levi had remarked that the Survey Corps was lucky to have me leading the medicine division, otherwise it would have been Hanji who could get a little manic with her experiments.</p><p>“<em>Tch</em>, a little? Did your black-out make you forget all about Shitty-Glasses’ disgusting antics, princess?” Levi scoffed at me. Levi’s nickname for me stuck. Even Mike and Hanji tended to call me princess in their jovial moments, while Erwin would whisper it in my ear when he was trying to be sneaky. The other Scouts also caught on, calling me princess with a slight air of reverence. Levi never failed to tease me for how every Scout looked to me like I was a goddess and their mother, while at the same time could be overly protective of me, especially when I joined them on expeditions.</p><p>“Who can blame them? Suzu’s the reason why we even get to have meat in the Survey Corps,” Mike chuckled. The meat factor did increase our recruits in the following years, but many were still scared away by Erwin’s sobering death-rate recruitment speech.</p><p>“I say you should be the one doing the recruiting, Princess. Isn’t that an administration thing? And you’re such a cutie, I bet you’ll get us hundreds of newbies!” Hanji cheered at her own idea. “Or better yet, maybe I should do the recruiting! I’m ten times cuter than you anyways, so we can get even more! I’ll tell the cadets all about the Titans and they will be so amazed and will be scrambling to join us.” Levi kicked Hanji for that last bit, but her antics made me happy. I wondered who could get more recruits – Erwin or Hanji?</p><p>Although Erwin entrusted me with doing word-battles with politicians and military folk, he preferred not to have me in the spotlight. It was a sentiment shared by the other veteran Scouts who remembered.</p><p>It happened a month after I had been released from the infirmary. I was able to walk good distances with the help of Hanji’s genius brace and sometimes a cane. I was walking well enough that Erwin agreed to let me leave headquarters for the first time since the fall of Shiganshina to buy our produce for the week in the market in the nearest village. Two fresh recruits accompanied me, a basket in each arm.</p><p>Nothing remarkable happened in our short journey there. I was overjoyed to finally breathe in air outside of headquarters and was having a pleasant conversation with the two recruits. I haggled good-naturedly with the stall owners and piled my purchases into the arms and baskets of the recruits. All was well until we were starting to make our way out of the village.</p><p>“Look at what these lads have here, Ernst. A pretty thing, isn’t she?”</p><p>“Aye, Oli. Even when we still had three Walls, you didn’t see a girl like her every day.”</p><p>I felt myself break into a cold sweat and my heart started to beat erratically. How could I forget? Ever since I ran away from home, my own set of precautions were ingrained in my mind. I used to make sure to strip the color from my hair every month with the ashes of nuts (nuts that now were harder to find since the fall of Wall Maria) and cover my slanted eyes with bangs. I took care to make myself small and unnoticeable where I went. But I had become careless after spending a full year confined in the Survey Corps headquarters. Not a lot of people were willing to attempt to kidnap the Commander’s wife. Half of the hair on my head was its natural black and I had piled everything up into a ponytail. We were in our casual attire and garnered no respect as soldiers. Even if we were in our official uniform, I knew it wouldn’t stop these men from trying.</p><p>The Oriental clan was dying long before humanity lost Wall Maria. It wouldn’t surprise me if I was the only Oriental left in the Walls, and that was a very dangerous thing. The reason why my father had been able to afford a house in Shiganshina was because he sold my brothers and mother to the black market underneath the Walls. It was obvious I was a pure Oriental woman and I would fetch a pretty price.</p><p>The one called Ernst grabbed me. “How about it, pretty lady? Why don’t you come with us?” Even though he was asking, the knife at my back made it clear that I had no choice.</p><p>“Hey!” One of the new recruits, his name was Karl, exclaimed. But suddenly, more of the men’s friends appeared, circling us like a pack of wild animals. The other villagers were suddenly nowhere to be seen. No one wanted to get involved. The other recruit named Pascal was frozen in fear. It was three against what had to be at least a dozen men. We didn’t have our gear and I was small and crippled. Karl and Pascal may have received combat training, but they were still green. I wasn’t confident they could win this fight.</p><p>I needed to make sure the recruits would get away.</p><p>“Fine, I’ll come with you. Please, just let them go. They have no quarrel with you.”</p><p>“How can we be sure they won’t tell on us?” another man asked, suspiciously eyeing the two recruits.</p><p>“Who would listen? We’re just three nobodies from Wall Maria,” I spun a fake story on the spot. I had to make them believe we were unremarkable people. They had to view Karl and Pascal as useless boys who the Garrison or Military Police would pay no mind to even if they reported a kidnapping.</p><p>“Why are you letting her talk? Just kill the two and get outta here,” Oli from earlier grumbled. The men seemed to agree, and my heart dropped. I had failed to protect my Scouts. Ernst, the man holding a knife to my back, was already pulling me away while the other men advanced on Karl and Pascal. I kept looking back in desperation, but the man’s hold was too strong and another one was pulling me along.</p><p>I would never forget what happened next.</p><p>Karl roared – it was a shriek that I usually only heard from desperate soldiers on an expedition. Usually, it was when they were about to be eaten by a Titan and decided to make one last effort to harm the monster. Nonetheless, in the middle of that little, quaint village, Karl Russo roared and headbutted the man unlucky enough to be directly in front of him. He threw kicks and punches and was so loud and jerky that at first, the men were surprised.</p><p>Pascal used the distraction to scream and turn tail, running away from the direction of Scout headquarters. He was ditching us. Of course, I felt betrayal, but I still understood his actions. He probably just wanted to get out of there.</p><p>Even though Karl fought tooth and nail, he was still outnumbered and overpowered. I managed to break my captor’s nose by hitting him with the back of my head and kicking him where the sun didn’t shine. I spun around to help Karl but was immediately tackled to the ground by whoever was helping Ernst take me away.</p><p>“Don’t get any ideas, girlie,” the man seethed as he pinned me down.</p><p>The sound of hurrying hooves and horses’ neighs interrupted Karl’s losing brawl. It looked like Pascal, in the middle of his escape, ran into the Commander, Captain Mike, and their respective squads on their return trip from their business at the Orvud District.</p><p>Erwin’s bright eyes were storming at the sight before him. His wife being pinned down and a green Scout being beaten to a pulp. Mike needed no orders, he was just as furious. He personally and singlehandedly knocked down the men surrounding Karl – proving his title as Humanity’s Second Strongest Soldier.</p><p>It was not the Survey Corps’ business to deliver justice on citizens. That job typically fell to the Garrison and Military Police. If the Survey Corps received any backlash because of Mike’s reaction, then Erwin never told me about it. Instead, he personally dealt with the man who had me pinned down.</p><p>Pascal the runaway was herded back along with us to headquarters after the entire debacle. I saw little of him after. I heard Levi had him scooping up horse shit one day and scrubbing toilet stalls the next. If not with Levi, then he was with Hanji, participating in an experiment that seemed too outrageous even for her. He died in his first expedition. I even wept for him, which had everyone shaking their heads. I made everyone swear that there was no foul play involved in his death. It took the witnesses who belonged to the same Trainee Corps as him telling me how a Titan gobbled him up because he wasn’t paying attention for me to give it a rest. Still, I wrote the letter to his family and shared about his talent for running and good work ethic.</p><p>Karl, on the other hand, became the first member of Squad Suzu. I insisted that I had no need of a squad, but Erwin didn’t waver. He said I should have squad to assist me in recovery operations during expeditions. But his choices for Squad Suzu tended to be soldiers who scored high in hand-to-hand combat and proved their devotion to me. They were my personal bodyguards even if Erwin denied it every single time. Levi snickered and called my squad the Princess Guard.</p><p>The market incident was not the last time I was singled out for being Oriental. Following a tense meeting with the higher-ups in the Reeves Corporation, I was again accosted by suspicious men once I exited the building. Karl and a new recruit named Lili stopped the abduction attempt almost immediately. Lili, a fireball with a terrifying roundhouse kick, became the second member of Squad Suzu. The next to join was Karl’s younger brother, Peter Russo. By that time, many in the black market had caught wind that there was a Survey Corps Captain who was a pure, Oriental woman. Peter foiled an abduction attempt that happened right at Survey Corps headquarters. It turned out that Karl and Peter had lived a part of their young lives in the Underground. Together with Levi, the brothers went on an operation (infuriatingly enough, approved by Erwin) to make it known that I was under their protection. To this day, I had no idea what that entailed exactly. But the abduction attempts became few and farther in between.</p><p>Jenny Hart, our final member, was the only one who joined Squad Suzu for a different reason. Initially, she was set to join the Research Division as she had top scores in the written exams. But an offhand comment from her about a particular Noble trying to cut funding for the Survey Corps put me in an advantageous position. Thanks to her information, I was able to sniff out a conspiracy between the prominent Wald family and the Wallists. Now the Church of the Walls was obligated to pay the Survey Corps a hefty sum to ensure we kept everything hush hush.</p><p>It turned out that Jenny was a bastard child of one of the Wald daughters but still knew the ins and outs of their private world. Her knowledge was useful for my responsibilities to the Survey Corps. Her admiration of me and the way she looked to me as the mother she never had was no secret to Erwin either.</p><p>No matter how much I adored my squad, I was still against having a squad at all.</p><p>“These soldiers didn’t become Scouts to become my personal bodyguards, Erwin! We aren’t the Military Police!”</p><p>“Suzuru,” Erwin said, looking at me in the eye. “You are solely responsible for ensuring the steady flow of funds for the Survey Corps. Expeditions are not cheap. You ensure the Scouts have good food in their bellies every night and make sure that we secure top of the line equipment. Without you, the Survey Corps falls. I think you are more than deserving of having soldiers dedicated to protecting you. I’d say they’d protest even more if I asked them to leave you.”</p><p>There he went with the mind games again. Erwin made no mention of my disability or my bloodline. He complimented me and turned it into a justifiable reason for me to keep my squad. I had no problems with arguing with seasoned politicians and greedy merchants, but Erwin still managed to make my head spin with his manipulations. It annoyed me how that both exasperated me and made me love him more.</p><p>To be fair, I used the same tactics to make him agree to let me go on expeditions. I learned how to choose my battles and timed my requests with the right expeditions. I always had my reasons from: <em>The Reeves company is willing</em> <em>to supply us with six months’ worth of meat if we obtained some records </em>to <em>there are seeds we can gather to make a productive vegetable garden right here in headquarters</em>. Although I usually had more than one person opposed to me going on expeditions, I had sound reasoning that even Erwin had difficulty denying. (Plus, he also happened to be in love with me.)</p><p>Still, over the years I went out of Wall Rose less and less. I still joined to ensure I could still take down a Titan, but I focused a lot of my energy to ensure the Survey Corps’ survival and support. This meant that Squad Suzu hardly ever went on an expedition as a whole unit. But there were times when Erwin would bring one or two as a way of ensuring their own Titan-killing skills were not rusty. We may not be the Squad that has the highest number of Titan kills, but we were the Squad that has went on the longest without a single death. Levi called this record a sham as we seldom joined expeditions now, but I still liked to lord it over him just to get him wound up. Even with his sharp tongue, Levi could only go as far as to call me <em>Princess</em> with a disdained tone. Levi tended to have soft spots for his long-time comrades and his own squad members. He was not as unfeeling as others made him out to be.</p><p>“Erwin finally agreed to attempt to capture another Titan!” Hanji exclaimed cheerfully as she danced over to where I was tending to Erwin’s horse. While majority of the Scouts were geared up in uniform for the expedition, I was dressed in my civilian attire. Me and my squad would not be joining this expedition. We would be here, ready to welcome the survivors home. My heart clenched as I took another look at the faces gathered before me. It never got easier knowing not everyone would return.</p><p>“It’s all thanks to Ilse and her insightful writings! I will forever be grateful!” Hanji continued, raising her goggled eyes to the sky as she thanked our fallen comrade.</p><p>“I’m glad for you, Hanji,” I told her sincerely as I finished quadruple checking the buckles on Erwin’s saddle.</p><p>“It would be better if I leave this with you,” Hanji said, handing me the aforementioned notebook. The implications of her words went unspoken between us.</p><p>“You better come home to me, Hanji,” I said, unable to take it, tears welling up in my eyes.</p><p>“Aww, you do this every expedition, Princess,” Hanji teased me good-naturedly but pulled me into a hug anyway. It smelled like Levi managed to convince her to bathe before they left.</p><p>“Don’t worry, we’re coming back to you, Suzu,” she finished calmly, which was uncharacteristic for Hanji. Even though there were no real assurances in the Survey Corps, her words made me smile. They always came back to me. I had complete faith in them.</p><p>“Hanji’s right, Suzuru,” Erwin said as he came up to us. Hanji non-subtly ducked out of the conversation with a laugh, and I chuckled along with her.</p><p>“Thank you for tending to Storm,” Erwin said as he brushed down his horse.</p><p>“Everything ready?” I meant everything from Erwin’s personal gear to his plans for the expedition. This one was meant to establish a base in Wall Maria that we could permanently settle in. Expeditions for this purpose had little chance for success and a death rate at thirty percent, even with Erwin as the Commander. Of course, we presented a different story to Zackley when we requested funding.</p><p>Erwin nodded and gathered me into his arms. The first times he said goodbye to me before an expedition in front of all his Scouts, he was reserved and shy. It was Jenny from my Squad who advised him that public displays of affection reminded the Scouts of where their Commander’s humanity lied. It would allow them, especially the newbies, an opportunity to relate with their leader and see a side of him different from the ambitious and driven Commander. It could also help endear me to the Scouts, as a precious person to their Commander.</p><p>Although I found Jenny’s reasoning too scheming, I wasn’t complaining about the results. Erwin was a fan of nuzzling and it always brought a smile to my face.</p><p>“Come back to me,” I said when he pressed his forehead against mine.</p><p>“I will,” Erwin swore, loud enough for the other Scouts to hear. I saw how his words eased some of the tenseness in the newer Scouts. It never failed to lessen even a bit of their anxiety when their Commander was confident going into an expedition. Erwin pressed a chaste kiss to my lips, and I managed to steal a warm hug from him. Erwin blushed when the onlookers made cooing noises.</p><p>I said the rest of my goodbyes to Levi, Mike, Hanji, and the other Scouts. I made it a point to learn and remember everyone’s name. I was all too aware this could be the last time I was seeing them, so I made sure all my words were heartfelt and encouraging. After the bustle and last-minute preparations, the Scouts rolled out and made their way to Trost to exit through the south gate.</p><p>
  <em>“Shinzou wo sasageyo!”</em>
</p><p>I knew that I would be losing many Scouts soon – but I silently begged to whoever was listening that they spared my husband and the former Squad Erwin. It was a selfish request I never spoke out loud. Yet every time they departed, this is what I asked for.</p><p>“I’ll be off as well, then, Captain,” said Lili as she came up to me while I watched the horses and carts disappear into the distance. “I’ll get started on ordering replenishments for our stores.”</p><p>“Very good, Lili. Stay safe, please.”</p><p>“Try not to get abducted today, Captain,” Lili said as she walked off, a smirk on her face. It was the standard goodbye for any Squad Suzu member.</p><p>I was in for a quiet day today – mostly finishing off paperwork in preparation for my next meeting with Zackley. Every few months he called me in for a meeting (really, he called Erwin, but Erwin always sent me) to justify the expenditures of the Scouts. Zackley was a hard man to please but it always made me feel fulfilled when I got him to compromise with me.</p><p>I had a few calm hours to myself until I was interrupted by the incoming sound of somebody running. I stopped working immediately. The urgency made me worried. My squad was usually a calm bunch. Only a few things can get them worried enough to run.</p><p>“<em>Captain!</em>” Lili burst into my office, much earlier than expected and with the rest of my squad right behind her.</p><p>“<em>Titans! Titans in Trost!</em>”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Levi! We’re pulling out!” Commander Erwin Smith ordered upon catching sight of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.</p><p>Levi protested immediately, but the Commander put a stop to it by telling him the horrifying facts of the hour.</p><p>“A swarm of Titans has begun moving northward, toward the city. This is just like what happened five years ago. Something’s happening in the town. It’s possible that the Wall has been destroyed.”</p><p>Levi and Petra Ral were rendered speechless, wide-eyed as the Commander continued on.</p><p>“Suzuru is the highest commanding Survey Corps officer within the Walls at this moment. There is no doubt that she and her squad will be in Trost. Squad Suzuru is strong, but we must still return. We are stronger when we are together. Our priority must be to save humanity.”</p><p>The look on Commander Erwin’s eyes were a terrifying sight. To the new recruits on their first expedition, their Commander was even scarier than the Titans who had just consumed many of their comrades.</p><p>“I will allow nothing to stop us from saving humanity,” Erwin declared plainly, but every Scout – veteran and new – heard the deeper meaning behind his words: Nothing was going to stop Erwin Smith from returning and aiding his wife, Suzuru Smith.</p><p>“We leave for Trost immediately.”  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Another chapter for the set-up. Next chapter, we finally get to the Battle of Trost! Again, I made this fic purely for my own enjoyment but I'm open to reading any feedback.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 2 - Trost, Part One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“What say you, Captain? Why did the Colossal Titan appear today of all days?” Commander Pixis’ grim tone was back.</p><p>“Because the Survey Corps is gone.”</p><p>Commander Pixis turned forward. “The Survey Corps is not gone, Captain. The Survey Corps is here, riding beside me.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The expedition took our best horses. I pushed my squad hard, but I couldn’t do the same to our horses. If I pushed our steeds over the edge, we would lose them before we even got close to Trost. We hardly had enough supplies for one replenishment of our gear. The timing was just too awful.  </p><p>When the Colossal Titan appeared for the first time five years ago, it happened after the Scouts’ numbers had been greatly reduced following Commander Shadis’ last expedition. By the time the giant Titan appeared and wreaked havoc, the remaining Scouts were well inside Wall Rose. Although the Survey Corps reacted as quickly as they could, their minimal numbers and reduced resources could not save Wall Maria. Instead of doing everything to take back Wall Maria, the Survey Corps shifted its goal to save as many refugees as possible. It broke a lot of Scouts’ spirits when they had to lead those same refugees they saved towards their deaths in the false operation to retake Wall Maria.</p><p>Today the Colossal Titan attacked when almost the entire Survey Corps was out on another expedition. Even if Erwin turned back the troops at the exact moment the Colossal Titan appeared, a repeat of what happened five years ago could happen once more. My squad and I were already within Wall Rose but no matter how far we pushed our horses, I knew we wouldn’t get there fast enough. I had yet to witness the aftermath of the Colossal Titan’s appearance, but I had no doubt we had already lost a ton of good soldiers today. The thought of it made my chest feel tight with grief. The cadet corps were stationed in Trost today.</p><p>The timing was too convenient to be a coincidence. The Colossal Titan appeared again on the day humanity’s best soldiers were away and the ones left defending the southern wall were green cadets. The first time around, we had accepted the Colossal Titan and the Armored Titan as anomalies. Were we mistaken? Something bigger had to be going on. But where would we find the answers?</p><p>“Whoa!” Peter, the best rider in my squad who had been leading our charge, abruptly pulled the reins on his horse to stop it in its track. We were at a fork in the road, a little less than half an hour’s ride out from Trost. Peter stopped us because of a riding party coming up on the other side.</p><p>The group was composed of three soldiers with the signature Garrison rose emblazed on their standard brown jackets. The soldier that stood out the most was the one wearing the telltale bolo tie – a piece reserved for the highest-ranking officers in the military.</p><p>I had never met him before, but I knew straight away that this was Commander Dot Pixis, the most powerful officer in the Garrison forces. He was in charge of all the forces assigned to defending the southern section of Wall Rose – the section that experienced the most Titan activity.  </p><p>“Survey Corps soldiers?” said Commander Pixis with a curious tone.</p><p>I struggled off my horse and threw on a salute. I held myself back from cringing at the poor display. The thought of the Wall broken again with Titans swarming in reminded me too much of what happened five years ago. It took me years to suppress the memories that would normally have me frozen and at the mercy of any Titans that came by. The memories would render me catatonic – and I easily became a burden during expeditions. It was because of those moments when I froze that Erwin insisted I not join any expeditions. For two years I forced myself to face the Titans head on – to return to the soldier I used to be. But now I haven’t even seen a Titan and I was already shaking.</p><p>I needed to be strong. My squad was depending on me. And depending on the situation in Trost and the decision of Commander Pixis, I could have even more lives thrust into my care.</p><p>“<em>Yes, sir! </em>Captain Suzuru Smith of the Administrative and Medicine Division of the Survey Corps reporting! Accompanying me is Squad Suzuru, sir!”</p><p>Commander Pixis seemed to ponder as he took my appearance in. I was small – smaller even than Levi and I had just introduced myself as the leader in charge of the soldiers tasked with killing Titans. Perhaps the Commander was happy to have found Scouts on his way to Trost, but Squad Suzu didn’t look like the typical Titan-killing soldiers. It was understandable for him to be wary.</p><p>“And your Titan kill count, Captain? Or are there actually Scouts who don’t know how to kill a Titan?”</p><p>“Sir – I personally record 43 individual kills and 70 assists! Collectively, my squad has over 150 kills!”</p><p>Commander Pixis smirked at that. “Excellent. At ease and back on your steed, Captain Suzuru. I’m sure you’ll agree that we don’t have plenty of time for the formalities today.</p><p>“Yes, sir!”</p><p>We followed Commander Pixis’ lead to Trost. The Commander ordered that I ride in front with him. We shouted at each other as we rode, comparing our information. He had heard mostly the same as my squad reported. The Colossal Titan appeared in the Wall outside of the Trost District. It kicked open the southern gate and swiped out all the cannons on the rear Wall. It disappeared just as quickly as it did five years ago and Titans swarmed into the city. Citizens were being evacuated. The Garrison forces and Cadet Corps were assigned with taking down Titans as the civilians escaped further into Wall Rose. No word yet from the Military Police. So far, there has been no sightings of the Armored Titan.</p><p>“Of course, the situation may have drastically changed. My men and I have been riding for nearly an hour,” Commander Pixis said grimly. We both knew a lot could happen in one hour.</p><p>Even though we were riding hard, Commander Pixis maintained our shouting match slash conversation.</p><p>“What did you say your name was, Captain?”</p><p>“Captain Suzuru Smith, Commander!”</p><p>“Smith? Are you the Commander’s wife that the Premier loves to talk about?” Commander Pixis’ words surprised me. Although I knew that Zackley was fond of me in his own way, the Scouting Legion always had the most difficult requests that could make the most patient man irritable. The amount of politics and maneuvering and negotiations that comes with requesting to open the southern gate and letting out a few good soldiers was enough to make my head spin for an entire year. There were times when an expedition had yet to return and I was already in Sina, asking Zackley for more funds and resources for the next one.</p><p>“I am Commander Erwin’s wife,” I confirmed.</p><p>“If I didn’t know your Titan kill count, Captain, then I would have said that your Commander didn’t bring you on the expedition for selfish reasons. Tell me why you and your squad were left behind.”</p><p>“We make up the Administrative and Medicine Section, Commander. Expeditions are busy times for us.”</p><p>“Busy stealing away meat from the Garrison, huh?”</p><p>“No, sir, from the military police.”</p><p>Pixis laughed “I can see why Zackley likes you. Usually, that man has a stick so far up his ass that everything is a bother to him. He’s only the slightest bit pleasant when he has a meeting coming up with the Survey Corps. It helps that it irks the Nobles that Zackley grants you so many requests.”</p><p>“The Survey Corps’ work is essential, Commander.”</p><p>“I agree. And was it you who made sure that Scouts ransacked merchants’ and military headquarters abandoned in Wall Maria for any documents and important artefacts?”</p><p>“Is there something the Garrison is needing, Commander? I can let my husband know once he returns.”</p><p>“Huh, you’re an easy one to like aren’t you, Captain Suzuru? A nice girl – most would see you as some unassuming soldier. But you’re dangerously sharp.”</p><p>“Thank you, sir.”</p><p>We could see the smoke coming from the Trost District more clearly now, but it was eerily quiet. There were no cannons being fired and no orders being shouted. Had the city already been completely overrun? All civilians and soldiers eaten alive? When Shiganshina was attacked, the city went out with screams and cries. I could barely hear my own thoughts. That’s why Trost’s silence was terrifying.</p><p>“What say you, Captain? Why did the Colossal Titan appear today of all days?” Commander Pixis’ grim tone was back.</p><p>“Because the Survey Corps is gone.”</p><p>Commander Pixis looked at me, his eyes sharp and alert despite having taken a swig from his flask multiple times already. The Commander had called me sharp, but I was willing to wager that he was better. He would have the ability to go head to head with Erwin and had the forces to back him up. Commander Pixis could easily order me and my squad to take care of the entire Trost situation. He could order his soldiers to leave us behind to deal with Titans. If we got out of this alive, he could report that the Survey Corps were a measly force with a crippled woman as their leader.</p><p>But I could tell Commander Pixis was assessing the situation, even while we were so far from Trost. He was thinking of how he could use me and my squad – the only humans currently within the Wall who could take down Titans with accuracy and the right drive.</p><p>I needed him to work with us and not push us around like dogs who did his bidding. Even though I was just a Captain, I needed him to see me as an equal. The only advantage I had was Premier Zackley’s good word, however unexpected the praise was. Commander Pixis has been a soldier for decades and was certainly a good judge of character. I needed to make him see how we could be useful to him. If we planned correctly and strategized right, the Garrison and Survey Corps could still save Wall Maria.</p><p>Commander Pixis turned forward. “The Survey Corps is not gone, Captain. The Survey Corps is here, riding beside me.”</p><p>I let out a breath of relief and even saw my own squad’s soldier sag, the tension ebbing away. Commander Pixis’ words were not plain, but I could hear his truth. The Commander was willing to work with me – with the Scouts. And that meant everything.</p><p>As we got closer to Trost, we could see the gathering of soldiers. Several of them sitting still and even if we were too far to see, I already knew what the look in their eyes would be. It would be the same as fresh Scout recruits who survived their first expedition. Fighting against Titans changed you in a way unlike any other. There were only two possible ways it could go – you could either be driven to fight or you would cower in fear. Soldiers joined the Scouting Legion knowing they would face Titans head-on. But for cadets who haven’t even chosen their assignment or Garrison soldiers who chose a life within the Walls? Nothing could have prepared them for what happened today.</p><p>
  <em>Boom!</em>
</p><p>A cannon had been fired, breaking the too eerie silence.</p><p>There was a rider making his way to us. As he got closer, I could see from his jacket that he was another Garrison soldier. Commander Pixis urged his horse forward and the rest of us followed closely behind him.</p><p>The rider was out of breath as he recounted everything that had happened since the initial report that was sent out. The initial Garrison forces that fought against the Titans were immediately wiped out and soldiers were called to retreat. The supply tower had been overrun and many soldiers, most of them cadets, were left stranded in Trost. The report got crazier from there.</p><p>A rogue Titan that attacked other Titans gave the stranded soldiers the opportunity they needed to resupply and retreat. It turned out that the rogue Titan wasn’t a Titan at all but a human – a boy. A cadet from the 104<sup>th</sup> Training Corps. When he resurfaced from the nape of the rogue Titan, he declared that he would 'kill more of you’.</p><p>“Kill who?”</p><p>“Er…he didn’t say, Commander.”</p><p>“And you assumed he meant our soldiers?”</p><p>“Sir, he’s a Titan! A monster! A monster who eats people! A traitor!”</p><p>Commander Pixis refused to listen to more from him. Even as the rider sputtered to attempt to finish his report (the cannon that we heard was aimed at the cadet who could turn into a Titan. Except he turned into a Titan <em>again</em> and no one was sure if he was alive or not), Commander Pixis rode for where the soldiers gathered.</p><p>“We have a soldier who can turn into a Titan and they want to kill him? Goddesses, this is why people spit on my regiment.”</p><p>We raced further into the city that was being used as a temporary base outside of Trost. The closer we got to the front, the more the silence faded away to be replaced by soldiers breaking down and shouting.</p><p>The shouting was coming from a cadet, who stood with a fervent salute before Garrison soldiers who were aiming rifles and blades at him and the two cadets behind him.</p><p>
  <em>“If we combine his Titan ability with our own remaining manpower, we can retake this city! For humanity’s glory, in what little time we had left to live, I will continue to advocate for his strategic value!”  </em>
</p><p>The cadet ended his speech by shrieking his last words. If possible, his salute became even more ardent.</p><p>There was a Garrison soldier who stood in the front – he seemed to be the leader and looked incredibly agitated. When Commander Pixis caught sight of this, he let out a deep sigh and took one last swig from his flask. He dropped from his horse and stalked towards the jumpy Garrison captain.</p><p>I followed a few paces behind him, signaling for my squad to do the same. I saw the way the Garrison soldiers’ eyes widened at the sight of the green cloaks we wore. We were a shocking sight to them.</p><p>“If the Commander is unable to stop them from shooting at the cadets, Karl and Peter – you take down the two Garrison soldiers with the rifles at the front. One of those cadets is the Titan. We must hear what he has to say.”</p><p>The thought of a human turning into a Titan was surreal, especially for Scouts like us. To think that there was a human who could turn into the same flesh-eating monsters that killed so many of our comrades brought about mixed feelings. How could we trust something that was born to kill us? But if the report was to be believed, then even in his Titan form the cadet attacked other Titans. Could it be possible that humanity could have the power of Titans on their side for the first time?</p><p>If that was the case, then the cadet needed to be in the Survey Corps. I would do everything to get him. If Commander Pixis decided to follow his soldier’s lead and shoot at the cadets, then the Survey Corps will commit mutiny.</p><p>It was the cadet’s speech that made me willing to stake it all. And it was the small flicker of hope. My military career in the Survey Corps and the years that followed the fall of Wall Maria taught me how to cling to any flicker of hope, no matter how outrageous it may be in this case.</p><p>If we could have a Titan on our side, then that opened countless possibilities that I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around. It was vital that we secured the cadet. Without him, humanity had no chance of keeping Wall Rose.</p><p>“We will protect the cadets,” I declared to my squad. Even though there was confusion and even doubt written on their faces, each one of them nodded an affirmative. Erwin chose them well. Squad Suzu would follow me anywhere. When the Garrison soldiers nearby heard my words and bristled at it, they immediately became on the receiving end of glares and growls from Survey Corps soldiers. Even if my squad didn’t completely understand my reasoning, they were defending me. This was a trust that could only be forged at the jaws of Titans, a bond that was reserved for the Survey Corps.</p><p>“That’s enough,” said Commander Pixis. He finished it off with some special insults for the fearful Garrison Captain and ensured that no one would be attacking the Cadets.</p><p>“Something tells me we ought to hear these people out, you see.”</p><p>The blonde cadet dropped to his knees in relief. I could see that there were tears in his eyes as he breathed heavily. His gamble made me smile. If we hadn’t arrived at this precise moment, then who knows what would have happened to him and his comrades? The workings of his mind and physical appearance reminded me of another person who loved his gambles.</p><p>The Commander turned back to look at me then gestured up to the Wall.</p><p>“Care to join us, Captain Suzuru?”</p><p>“Yes, Commander.”</p><p>“Weimann, organize the reinforcements. Captain Suzuru, leave your Squad in charge here. Goddesses know it will be the Scouts who know what to do about all these Titans. Now let’s go and have a chat with these young and sprightly cadets.”</p><p>I took a proper look at the Cadets as we made our way up the Wall, and found them to be anything but sprightly. I learned the one who made the speech was named Armin Arlert. He had big blue eyes that shined like Erwin’s. His intelligence was clear for anyone to see and the other two cadets clearly trusted him to advocate for them.</p><p>The female cadet was named Mikasa Ackerman. She looked at me as if she was seeing a ghost. I couldn’t blame her, seeing another Oriental shocked me too. I was so sure I was the last one left in the Walls but clearly, I was wrong. Mikasa had a silent strength about her and was extremely protective of the third cadet.</p><p>Eren Jaeger. The cadet who could turn into a Titan. I wanted to see it with my own eyes. I wanted to see a Titan with a spark of intelligence so I would know for sure. Confirming his existence would mean confirming my theory regarding the Colossal Titan and the Armored Titan. I needed to know if Eren could truly turn into a Titan and harness that power towards achieving a goal.</p><p>Armin explained the facts. The three came from Shiganshina and enlisted as cadets when they turned 12. The night the trio evacuated from the Titan-torn city, Eren’s father found them in the evacuation center and took Eren away.</p><p>Eren could not remember what happened next.</p><p>He woke up back in the evacuation center, a necklace on his neck with the basement key. Turning into a Titan made him remember some things – but everything came in flashes. His recount reminded me of my own experience in Shiganshina, but I remained silent and continued to listen, willing the harsh memories away.</p><p>If Eren returned to the basement in his home in Shiganshina, there he would find the truth about the Titans. Eren was bitter about his father keeping secrets but while the man was still nowhere to be found, this was all he had. A rusted key and a basement that was in the middle of Titan-infested land.</p><p>Commander Pixis chose to believe Eren’s story, no matter how fantastical and lacking it was.</p><p>“My apologies, I introduced myself but didn’t do the same for Captain Suzuru here. She’s the Captain of the Administrative and Medicine Division of the Survey Corps. We are very lucky she and her squad decided to stay behind while the rest of the Scouts are on another one of their expeditions.”</p><p>Eren looked straight at me with jewel-toned eyes that seemed to brighten with…wonder? It was like he was in awe that I was standing here before him.</p><p>“What do you think of Eren’s story, Captain?”</p><p>Even though the Commander had already declared that he had believed Eren and would be ensuring the cadets’ safety, he seemed to be sincerely curious about my thoughts. The three cadets were staring right at me as well, waiting for my response.</p><p>“I think it would make a fine case for more expeditions, Commander. I believe Cadet Jaeger as well.”</p><p>“Excellent,” Pixis nodded. “Now that that’s all done, Arlert – you said that with Eren’s Titan ability it would be possible to retake this city?”</p><p>Armin’s plan was yet another gamble. I was all too used to gambles but it pleasantly surprised me that Pixis was more than willing to go along with it as well. As soon as he secured Eren’s commitment to lifting the boulder, he wasted no time getting organized. Armin’s plan completely depended on Eren being able to control his Titan. It was the perfect way for me to confirm if Eren was what we needed to save humanity from Titans.</p><p>“I will call the officers, Captain Suzuru. Why don’t you start planning with Cadet Arlert?”</p><p>“Yes, sir!”</p><p>Armin was not confident in the plan he pitched, but Eren’s next statement left no room for hesitation. Whether or not Armin believed in his own plan, it was all we had because:</p><p>“The Titans aren’t the only enemy.”</p><p>While Commander Pixis and Eren presented the main gist of Armin’s plan to the Garrison reinforcements, I worked with Armin to iron out the details.</p><p>“We will need to have most of our forces on the opposite corner to lure as many Titans as possible. From there, we can take out the Titans one by one with our remaining canons. That way would also minimize chances of death. Of course, an elite squad capable of battling Titans will still need to accompany Eren as he would be vulnerable as he carries the boulder. The elite squad would need to be able to take down any Titans that come too close and make sure Eren’s path towards the hole is clear.”</p><p>“And when you say elite squad, do you mean my soldiers?” I asked.</p><p>“Well, I would never presume to order where you should place your men, Captain!” Armin sputtered. “It’s only that Scouts would have the best chances of protecting Eren and killing the Titans that get too close!”</p><p>I smiled at Armin and placed my hand on his shoulder. I could feel the tension there and the look on his face was full of doubt and fear. His face reminded me so much of Erwin, I couldn’t help but make the comparison. It was in that moment, looking at Armin Arlert and seeing Erwin in my mind, that I became sure that we were making the right decision to believe in Armin’s plan.</p><p>“At ease, cadet. Your plan is solid, and my squad is more than up to the task of protecting Eren. My Scouts will die for him.”</p><p>“You need to give yourself more credit, Armin. You saved your friends from getting shot at and now you’ve come up with this plan that could possibly win humanity their first victory against the Titans. If Eren can lift that boulder and plug the hole, then we win. Your plan is giving us hope.”</p><p>Armin looked at me with his shining eyes and a similar look of awe that Eren had given me earlier.</p><p>“It’s a little early, but thank you, Armin. Your plan will save many lives today and my squad will make sure Eren can do what he needs to do. I’ll need you and Mikasa to join my squad.”</p><p>“Me?! Captain, you might not know this but I’m not yet so adept at taking down Titans and─”</p><p>“And yet you and Mikasa are the only ones who have directly interacted with Eren in his Titan form. He turned into a Titan to protect you. We don’t know what will happen in this operation, Eren will need you and Mikasa to be there for him.”</p><p>“We’ll be there at his side, Captain,” Mikasa joined in on the conversation when Armin seemed to be left speechless.</p><p>This time, Mikasa looked at me straight in the eye as well. Instead of the looks of awe that Eren and Armin had given me, there was just gratitude all over Mikasa’s face. Gratitude and hope.</p><p>“Thank you, Captain Suzuru.”</p><p>“If we survive this day, cadet, let’s have a talk you and I,” I said to Mikasa. Earlier, it had been as if she was seeing a ghost. I wanted to know what she saw when she looked at me. What did she have to go through in her young life for her to look at me like that?</p><p>Commander Pixis’ speech was riveting and raised the hopes of the downtrodden soldiers below. Commander Pixis was giving them hope, even though that hope was all based on a gamble. He didn’t feed the soldiers below fake words about glory but he touched their hearts by talking about the sacrifices of the ones who came before us. Even when there were clamors for the Scouts to be left to save Trost, the Commander did not waver. The operation to take back Trost would push through and all would participate – either as bait or as protectors of Eren on the ground. Today, us soldiers would fight not for the glory of being dubbed heroes but to ensure that the lives lost before us would not have been lost in vain. Today we were going to win for humanity in the name of all those who had to die for us to get to this point.</p><p>It was a nice hope to believe in, but it was all up to Eren to make the Commander’s words true.</p><p>“Squad Suzu, I will now give you your assignments for this operation.” I gathered my squad to officially impart to them their role in this operation. I knew my squad would never fail me. Even if I told them to jump right into the mouths of the Titan grasping for us from the bottom of the Wall, they would do it without question. But I believed the more information soldiers had, the more effective they would be in their job. I needed them to have the drive to protect Eren. It needed to be at the same level they were willing to give their life for me.</p><p>“Understand this, Squad Suzu. Today will determine if humanity has any chance at all of winning against the Titans. If Cadet Jaeger can successfully harness the power of his Titan, then humanity will finally have its trump card. Your job, Squad Suzu, is to make sure it can happen. Eren needs to have the opportunity to prove himself. You will make that opportunity for him at all costs.”</p><p>“The four of you will be assigned to be the elite squad that will protect Eren as he lifts the boulder and brings it to the hole in the Trost gate. Karl is in charge of decision making on the ground. Cadets Ackerman and Arlert will be joining you. Their lives will be in your hands as well. There will be Garrison squads supporting you, but if you can save their lives by dealing with Titans yourselves, then you make that choice. The Survey Corps is loyal to humanity. We need to save as many people as we can. It was the Survey Corps that signed up to fight Titans, not the Garrison.”</p><p>“As the five of us are what’s left of the Survey Corps in the Walls, it would be poor form for me to sit out this fight. I will be stationed near the Trost gate, and make sure Eren’s end goal is clear of Titans.” Karl immediately opened his mouth to protest but I held up my hand to silence him.</p><p>“We can save many lives today. We can save the lives of the citizens of Trost, the citizens of Wall Rose and Sina, and the soldiers fighting by our side today. They may not bear the Wings of Freedom as we do, but that does not make their lives and efforts any less valuable.”</p><p>“I am asking you to risk your lives today. I am asking you to reach out to your fellow humans and save them from the Titans. We five have the ability to do this. That means we have the <em>responsibility</em> to do this. Today, I am asking you to follow me and give your hearts. Will you do this for me, soldiers?”</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, Captain!” </em>
</p><p>“Very good. Last order: do not die. Our squad has a record to protect.”</p><p>Commander Pixis caught up with me before I transferred to the southern end of the city.</p><p>“How incensed will that husband of yours be with me when he finds out I approved of your role in this operation, Captain Suzuru?”</p><p>“Oh, he will despise you,” I couldn’t help but laugh, imagining Erwin’s reaction to the eccentric Commander of the Garrison regiment.</p><p>“In your honest opinion, Captain – how do you think we will fare today?”</p><p>“Don’t count out my Squad, Commander. We will save many lives today.”</p><p>“I have no doubt of that, captain. But will it be enough?”</p><p>“Will Eren even be able to lift that boulder?” I shrugged. There were too many variables. But still, I couldn’t help but have hope. If it had been Erwin calling the shots today, I believed that he would make the same choice as Commander Pixis.</p><p>“The Garrison will not fight for custody of Cadet Jaeger. I’ll do my part to have him land with the Scouts.”</p><p>“Thank you, Commander. Eren needs to be with us. I just know it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Another chapter written at an ungodly hour! I didn't reread this one so please excuse any grammar mistakes. I meant for the Trost section to be one entire chapter, but it was getting too long and I still need to sleep. This one came out a little late because I was busy over the weekend. I will do my best to have the next one out by this weekend still! Fingers crossed hehe! </p><p>Thank you all for the feedback so far, it makes me really happy to read your comments. Til' the next one!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 2.5 - Trost, Part Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“You must calm yourself, Suzuru,” Levi said, directing my attention back to him. “Calm down so you can report to Erwin what happened. Explain why those kids pulled out a boy from a Titan.”</p><p>“Erwin is coming?” I gasped.</p><p>Levi’s smile for me was very tender. It was not a look he wore often, but I loved it. It revealed the soft side of him he kept hidden from everyone. The side that cared deeply for his comrades and drove him to fight.</p><p>“Nothing could stop him.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter starts off in the POV of Karl - the first member of Squad Suzu. Suzu's POV follows after.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Try not to get abducted today, Captain.</em>
</p><p>Commander Erwin was going to kill them all.</p><p>That’s what Karl thought about when he took a few seconds to breathe after finishing off another Titan that got too close.</p><p>Little Jenny would have a quick and painless death. Maybe tasteless poison mixed into a water-drinking can or crushing her with the boulder Eren failed to lift. She was too similar to Captain Suzu for even the Commander to ignore. On that merit alone, she would be awarded a peaceful death. Karl doubted the same could be said for the rest of them.</p><p>Lili would try to fight back of course. She would lash out at anyone who attempted to get close. But Commander Erwin would be prepared for her the same way he was prepared for just about anything else. Perhaps he’d have Captain Mike and Captain Levi hold her down in the best position for a beheading. Lili would not like that at all.</p><p>His brother would not get off easy either. Peter was quick thinking and maybe he would use his brains to try to escape. But no one could beat Commander Erwin Smith at mind games. He’d have Peter running off believing he was safe, and the moment Karl’s brother stopped for breath, Commander Erwin would slink out of the shadows and choke him to death with his bare hands.</p><p>Karl, as the second-in-command of the squad, would have the most brutal death. Karl’s sole responsibility was to protect the Commander’s wife. Not to eradicate Titans, not to direct civilians to safety – no. His only job was to make sure Suzuru Smith stayed alive. The day he fought for her against all those men who tried to take her, he devoted his entire military career to protecting Captain Suzu. It was a devotion he did not take lightly. But that would not be enough for the Commander. Because of Karl’s failure, he would first be forced to watch the deaths of each of his squadmates. Then Commander Erwin would look him in the eye and tell him every good thing Captain Suzu has ever said about him. The Commander would spit out a litany of the legacy Captain Suzu left behind. He would do it while forcing Karl to gaze upon her stone grave. There would be no escape from the guilt. Karl would be staring at his ultimate failure upon his death. The Commander would ensure that.</p><p>If Squad Suzu lived through this, the Commander was going to kill them all. And Karl’s last words to his captain were to tell her to not get abducted.</p><p>That time would have been better spent asking the goddesses for their mercy and forgiveness. And the strength to withstand the Commander’s rage once he returns to Trost. Karl had no doubt that the Commander of the Survey Corps was pushing his troops to the limit to hurry back. Not because it was the Survey Corps’ duty to defend humanity from Titans, but because there was no doubt that his wife would be in the middle of the Titan-infested city.</p><p>All because Eren Jaeger fucked up and didn’t lift the boulder. Now Captain Suzu had dropped from her perch from the semi-destroyed southern Wall of Trost. She was taking down Titans left and right in a bloody charge towards them. All because Squad Suzu couldn’t do their job and make sure the cadet carried a rock.</p><p>“Commander Erwin is going to have our heads for this!” Jenny squeaked out in despair, her eyes flitting between their Captain flying towards them and Eren’s slumped Titan form sitting at the base of the boulder he was supposed to be lifting.</p><p>“I didn’t realize Captain Suzu was still capable of fighting like that,” the Cadet called Arlert said in awe. To Karl, he looked like a miniature and less impressive version of his Commander – but those blue eyes of his really were a perfect match. He wondered if the Captain and Commander had a secret child they kept hidden.</p><p>Even the Garrison support troops were gasping over Captain Suzu’s display of skill. Karl was part of the Cadet Corps that graduated right after the fall of Shiganshina, too late to have known his Captain in her prime fighting form. Seeing her singlehandedly taking down and dodging Titans even with her crippled leg gave him a glimpse of the soldier she used to be. With the Captain’s abnormally high Titan kill count, no one should have been surprised.</p><p>“<em>Shut the fuck up</em> and get your friend to fucking <em>move</em>, Arlert!” Lili screeched at him. Arlert piped out an affirmative and scurried back to his friend, still sitting immobile at the boulder. Lili was lucky their captain was still too far away to hear, as there was no way Captain Suzu would approve of the way she spoke to the cadet. On Karl’s end, he did nothing to subdue his squadmate. She was speaking the truth.</p><p>“And you Garrison <em>infants!</em> Your comrade is getting eaten while you’re staring at the Survey Corps goddess! Get your heads out of your twisted fantasies and fucking kill something, won’t you?!”</p><p>Lili probably did not care that the Garrison support troops looked like they wanted to kill her. Everyone here knew they wouldn’t stand a chance against her. Even though the Garrison soldiers were meant to serve as the support squads, it was Lili who dealt the finishing blows to the Titans that snuck up on them. She was unabashedly using the Garrison soldiers as bait. Even if she was being a little bitch about it, Lili was following their Captain’s orders. No one in the Garrison support squads joining them on the ground had died just yet. Mitabi, a soldier Karl knew from cadet training, looked simultaneously terrified and adoring of Lili.</p><p>“Karl! Double 6-meters on your left!” his brother called out to him, shaking Karl out of his thoughts.</p><p>He spared one last moment to look back at his Captain who continued to steadily make her way towards them. Karl wished she had stuck to her word and waited on the Wall above the gate. But there was no way Suzuru Smith was going to stand back when people were in trouble, especially if they were her squad. She was always too selfless and that trait of hers never failed to frustrate Karl. It frustrated him but it also inspired him.</p><p>His Captain was flying to their rescue and <em>goddesses damn it</em>, he was going to meet her halfway.  </p><p>“Garrison Squad, fly left!” Karl shouted the order. “Get those Titans’ attention so Peter and I can take the drop on them. Now!”</p><p>Karl ignored the soldiers’ protests. He didn’t look back to listen to Lili tease them or Jenny encourage them. He didn’t need to look to know his brother was flying at his side. They were going to take down these Titans and clear a path for their Captain.</p><p>Because if anyone could inspire Eren to move, it would be their Captain Suzu.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The two cadets stared at me with open, gaping mouths once I took down the 4-meter Titan chasing them. They didn’t even seem to notice the 5-meter creeping up on them from behind with its own open-mouthed grin. But that Titan was quickly dispatched by another blonde cadet.</p><p>I allowed myself to squeeze my eyes shut for just a moment. I don’t know how I managed to fool myself into thinking I would be fine during this operation. How did I not realize that the sight of Titans rampaging across the city would evoke such painful memories for me?</p><p>When I was standing on the Wall, I was looking the opposite way – towards Wall Maria. I silently begged whoever was listening above to have the Scouts appear. I needed Erwin to come and save me from making these decisions. I put on a brave face for my squad, the cadets, the Garrison, but being alone allowed the memories to creep up.</p><p>It took me a year to recover from the aftermath of the fall of Wall Maria. Physically, I was out of the infirmary after a few months. But the memories of that day plagued my sleeping and waking hours. For months I couldn’t do combat training without bursting into tears. Erwin nearly banned me from expeditions when my reaction to seeing a Titan hundreds of meters away was freezing up. For all my smart words and bargaining, there truly were days when none of us could find hope that I would ever be able to fight Titans as a Scout again. It was an arduous process of unlearning and relearning how to train both my body and my mind. I forged a new will to keep fighting, a will that allowed me to rise over the trauma. But this repeat of the tragedy from five years ago had me nearly breaking down once more.</p><p>My patience was running too thin by now. When I saw the red smoke signal that meant there was a problem with the operation, I leapt from my perch on the Wall without a single thought. I didn’t care that my squad would be very irritated with me and I didn’t care that Erwin would be fuming when he learned about it later. I didn’t care that the Titans made me want to cry and curl up into a ball. I didn’t care that everything within me screamed to throw my blades to the ground and retreat.</p><p>All I knew was that Cadet Eren was in trouble. My squad was in trouble. Eren’s friends, the cadets I sent to battle, were in trouble. The Garrison support squads were in trouble. The fate of Trost was in trouble. I could not afford to waste any more time. The people I cared about overtook any fears that resurfaced with the reappearance of the Colossal Titan.</p><p>I was small but I was fast. I was crippled but I could fly. I would do everything to make it to Eren’s and my squad’s sides. I didn’t hold myself in so high regard that I believed that I could solve everything once I got there. But the least I could do was be there for them. I was their Captain and I couldn’t abandon them.</p><p>But I underestimated the number of Titans milling about the city. Still, my determination did not waver. I sliced through numerous napes and jumped away at every right moment. I did not stop to run on rooftops but flew in the air where my left leg did not hinder me. I flew circles around the mindless monsters like a bird swooping in for its kill. I killed the Titans that tried to grasp me out of the sky. I saved Garrison squads who shook under the gaze of the monsters. I saved two cadets who were flailing with panic.   </p><p>“That was reckless of you lot,” I couldn’t help but nag them. These weren’t greenie Scouts on an expedition but couldn’t stop myself from mothering them all the same.</p><p>“When there’s a Titan dead-set on eating your friend, you make the most out of the situation by treating your friend as bait. With the Titan properly distracted, you slice its nape easy-peasy. You do <em>not</em> join your friend and play bait. Understood, cadets?”</p><p>First, they answered with wordless nods but seemed to scramble to collect themselves enough to salute. I sighed. Perhaps I was being too harsh on them. They were only cadets. They weren’t my Scouts.</p><p>But I still had to make sure they would be safe.</p><p>“If you can’t fight them properly anymore, get up the Wall. We can’t afford to lose more lives today.” </p><p>I was relieved when they obeyed my orders, but I couldn’t stop here. It was dangerous to linger on the ground and the operation to retake Trost was still in trouble. If I stayed still for too long, I would be a slave to my fears all over again. I would be a useless Captain in a time when humanity needed me the most.</p><p>I must steel myself. It was in this moment that I was not allowed to falter. Even though it was the Garrison leading this operation, it was me and my squad that Commander Pixis relied on to lead the takedown of the Titans who invaded Trost. We were the only ones with real experience of even small wins against the monsters that forced us to cower behind our miraculous Walls. We needed to stand strong against the Titans. If the Scouts faltered, then the Garrison would crumble too.</p><p>Before I could continue my path towards Eren’s Titan form, a massive and ear-splitting roar boomed through all of Trost.</p><p>At first, it was impossible to see and pinpoint the source of the roar. But there weren’t so many options for what that roar could be. There was smoke and dust blanketing the streets of the city. I needed to get up on the roofs to be completely sure.</p><p>I needed to see with my own eyes that it was happening. That humanity finally had its chance to win. One chance is all we needed. I maneuvered up to the nearest rooftop and immediately confirmed it. I saw the green jewel eyes piercing through the dust and smoke.</p><p>Eren Jaeger lifted the boulder and was slowly stomping down the path to plug the hole in the gate.</p><p>My squad fulfilled their duty and continued to fight. I was still far from them, but I could see everything. They had fanned out to lead the takedown of the Titans that were attracted by Eren’s roar. They won the opportunity for Eren to lift the boulder and had moved on to their next task of protecting those who could not save themselves.</p><p>Mikasa and Armin remained with Eren, leading the Titan-shifter towards his goal.</p><p>“Clear the path!” I exclaimed to all the soldiers who could hear me. “Make sure Eren has a clear path to the hole!”</p><p>I turned back and couldn’t help but laugh. I should have trusted my squad from the beginning. They had never failed me before and there was no need for me to come to their aid now. My emotions got the best of me and even though it resulted in me massacring several Titans, I was still ashamed to have even had a second of doubt.</p><p>My squad was made up of fighters. Eren was proving himself to be one as well. It strengthened my resolve to have him for the Survey Corps. My squad proved that Eren could achieve many great things with us. I hoped it would mean his friends would join us too. I would have them all. In my heart, they were already mine.</p><p>There were many Titans lingering by the hole, having just slipped through. They were blocking Eren’s way and would have to be dealt with.</p><p>I was not the only one thinking of it.</p><p>A Garrison squad I recognized as Squad Mitabi was on the ground before the hole, waving their arms and attempting to get the Titans’ attention. They were too far from the nearest building to be able to use their ODM and too far from the Wall to make a retreat. They were sitting ducks but that didn’t stop their cries.  </p><p>They were bait. It was a formation I knew very well how to do.</p><p>With the roles reversed, I flew and sliced down the Titan closest to them. On expeditions, I usually played the bait. It was a strategy that worked best between comrades who had complete faith in each other. Squad Erwin had been so in sync that we hardly ever needed words to coordinate and take down Titans. I never had to speak to let the others know I would be the bait. Too many times to count I have placed myself directly in the path of Titans’ jaws and let myself fall to give Erwin, Mike, Levi, or Hanji the opportunity to slice their napes.</p><p>My cut on this Titan was perfect. One meter long and ten centimeters wide. It was a textbook cut. But I still lost my last set of blades in the Titan’s flesh.</p><p>“Run!” I yelled at Mitabi’s face right before another Titan yanked me by my ODM cables.  </p><p>My body was slapped on the ground and the impact made my head feel too light too suddenly. I gurgled something warm out of my mouth and my entire body was going numb. I had felt this before.  </p><p>There were debris everywhere that time. The Colossal Titan seemed far more destructive when it first appeared five years ago. There were moments when I thought it would have been better if I had died instead. If the piece of the gate crushed me from head to toe instead of just my leg. But my will to live surpassed the temptation of just surrendering to death.</p><p>My brother told me to live. Erwin ordered me not to give up. I called for them – Erwin, Mike, Hanji, and Levi and they did find me in the end.</p><p>I was spitting out blood, but I would not die here. My squad was still fighting. My Erwin was still racing back towards me. I did not get this far to only make it this far. That had to be my truth.</p><p>I had asked Erwin to come back to me before the Scouts set off for their expedition. I had to make sure I was there for him to return to.</p><p>“Captain!” a soldier screamed for me. There were other words, but I couldn’t make sense of them.</p><p>
  <em>“Aaaaaaaaaaaah!”</em>
</p><p>Mitabi roared as he sliced through the Titan’s nape. He had latched onto it with his ODM and leaped from the Titan’s shoulder so that he could be in the best position to kill it. The Titan holding on to my ODM cable immediately went down and began to decay.  </p><p>“Captain!” It was Mitabi who had been yelling for me. “Captain, are you alright?!”</p><p>I did not answer. Instead, I watched with bated breath as Mikasa leaped and sliced through the last Titan blocking Eren’s way. Armin’s screams melded with Eren’s. His Titan slammed down the massive boulder right in front of the hole, effectively plugging it closed.</p><p>We won. <em>We won.</em></p><p>Humanity was no longer alone in this fight. We had the power of a Titan on our side. <em>We are not alone.</em></p><p>A yellow smoke signal went into the air, declaring our shared victory.</p><p>We won. <em>We won.</em></p><p>“The remaining Titans are coming. Head up the Wall!” a soldier yelled out, breaking the silence that had fallen over everyone as Eren’s success had yet to truly catch up with all of us.</p><p>“Captain Suzuru.” Mitabi was still beside me, trying to lift me up to my feet.</p><p>“Retreat to the Wall!” he yelled out the order to the other soldiers still remaining. Mitabi was draping my arm over his shoulder so that he could get me on his back. I was still watching Eren who was back to sitting at the base of the boulder.</p><p>We didn’t get all the Titans. Two more were trudging towards Eren.</p><p>I couldn’t let them have him.</p><p>“Captain Suzuru!” Mitabi yelled for me again but I moved too fast for him to catch. I ran with a speed I thought I had long become incapable of. I couldn’t feel either of my legs moving beneath me, but I was getting closer to Eren and the Titans.</p><p>“Captain Suzuru, your gear!”</p><p>I latched onto the closest Titan and flew at it. I realized too late that one of my cables hung uselessly at my side. I landed right on the Titan’s nose and had no weapons to kill it with. Vaguely, I registered that they had cut Eren out of his Titan form. The Titan I had landed on had been about to grab for him. Now the Titan was trying to find a way to get me off its nose and into its mouth.</p><p>How many times today have I allowed my emotions to dictate my decisions? I deserved to be eaten for my utter stupidity. The only consolation was that I could buy time for Eren to escape.</p><p>It hurt to speak, but still, I managed to scream “Get up the Wall!”</p><p>The slick sound of blades cutting into Titan flesh made me cry out. A new force grabbed me and pulled me off the Titan’s face before it landed face-first on the ground.</p><p>“<em>Oi, Suzuru.</em> What the <em>fuck </em>is going on here?” Levi seethed at me as he held my limp body against his own.</p><p>I responded by bursting into tears and latching onto him like a child.</p><p><em>He had come! </em>Levi came back for me!</p><p><em>Levi? Levi, please! Please, Levi! Help me! Help me! </em>He heard me calling out to him and came back to save me!</p><p>“Suzuru, stop your crying now. You’re embarrassing yourself in front of the cadets.” I cried out when Levi knocked me on the head. I saw a flash of Levi’s surprised expression when he realized he had inflicted real pain on me.</p><p><em>My head, my head.</em> What was wrong with my head?</p><p>I cried out again when I remembered how I had been slapped on the ground when the Titan went for my cables. I gripped my head and screamed as I cried. I couldn’t stop myself from weeping even if I knew Mitabi had already killed that Titan. I cried even though Levi had carried me up the Wall and dropped me beside the cadets.</p><p>At the back of my mind, I faintly registered that Armin and Mikasa were both staring at me with wide eyes, Eren passed out and slumped in between them. Mitabi and the other Garrison soldiers were nearby and looking at me with various expressions of shock and fear.</p><p>Where was my squad? Were they dead? Did the Titans eat them? The Titans! How come no one was thinking about the Titans? We were going to get eaten! We’re all going to die!</p><p>
  <em>“Suzuru!” </em>
</p><p>Levi screamed at me again and I quieted down. I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing.</p><p>“I’m here,” Levi simply declared.</p><p>“Levi!” I exclaimed and surprised him by gripping him at his sides.</p><p>Why wasn’t he running? There were Titans everywhere! He had to move!</p><p>“Levi! Run away and live! Leave me here to die, I can distract the Titans one more time! Just make sure you run and live! Go now!”</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere!” Levi snarled at me.</p><p>“I will never leave you, Suzuru.”</p><p>“But, Levi…the Titans. You must run! You have to go!”</p><p>“You killed them, Captain Suzuru. Don’t you remember?” Mitabi spoke up and stepped closer. Levi was giving him a death glare, but the Garrison soldier stood strong.</p><p>“You saved my squad. We weren’t eaten by the Titans because of you.”</p><p>“You must calm yourself, Suzuru,” Levi said, directing my attention back to him. “Calm down so you can report to Erwin what happened. Explain why those kids pulled out a boy from a Titan.”</p><p>“Erwin is coming?” I gasped.</p><p>Levi’s smile for me was very tender. It was not a look he wore often, but I loved it. It revealed the soft side of him he kept hidden from everyone. The side that cared deeply for his comrades and drove him to fight.</p><p>“Nothing could stop him.”</p><p>Suddenly, everything was bustling with activity once more. Soldiers with Survey Corps green cloaks leaped up to the Wall at the same time Commander Pixis and his top officers arrived. Both parties headed straight for me, Levi, and the cadets.</p><p>Erwin swept me up into his arms and murmured to me in my ear. I couldn’t make sense of the words he was whispering. I felt myself go limp against him, my cheek resting against his chest.</p><p>
  <em>Erwin…Erwin? Help me. Please…save me.</em>
</p><p>“You have to go, Erwin…the Titans are coming…I can distract them…”</p><p>I understood his next words.</p><p>“There is no plan where I leave you behind, my wife. I will carry you out of here on my back if I must. But you have done wonderfully, so allow me to take the burden from you. I’m here, Suzuru.”</p><p>Too soon his warmth was stolen away from me, but even in my delirious state, I could understand why it needed to be so. My squad found me and crowded around me, like the little chicks that flitted around their mother when they were seeking comfort. We were ordered to sit out as the rest of the Titans were dealt with.</p><p>Hanji made sure to keep me down and quiet when the Military Police arrived to take Eren. I saw myself in Mikasa’s rage and Armin’s stressed tears. I wanted to call them to me and have them close, but they were still cadets who reported to their own officers. They felt like mine, but they weren’t. It broke my heart to watch them take Eren and to have Mikasa and Armin walk away from me.</p><p>Erwin returned to make me a promise.</p><p>“We will have Eren Jaeger. I swear it to you, my wife.”</p><p>I shut down after that. Later, I would learn that under Erwin’s orders, Mike led my squad back to Survey Corps headquarters where I could be tended to in the infirmary.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>My eyes immediately found Erwin’s upon waking up. Erwin immediately set down the report he was reading and put all his focus on me. His smile was soft and sweet, but there was also fear there.</p><p>“Welcome back.”</p><p>“How long?”</p><p>“Less than a day. I would have preferred that you rest longer. If the reports are true, you could be responsible for killing over a dozen Titans alone.”</p><p>“How many dead, Erwin?”</p><p>Erwin looked at me sternly. “The deaths of the Garrison soldiers are not your responsibility nor your fault. No Scouts died.”</p><p>“<em>How many?</em>”</p><p>“50 dead – that number accounts for both Garrison and Cadets. Pixis completely believes that with you and your squad, that number would have been far higher.”</p><p>I wanted to cry, but the burning sensation behind my eyes made me want to throw up. If I had just gotten a grip of my emotions, many wouldn’t have to have died. We could have saved them.</p><p>“Suzuru, look at me,” Erwin ordered, and I followed without question.</p><p>“Under your orders, Squad Suzuru protected Eren Jaeger in his Titan form. Then they protected the Garrison and Cadet support squads. You were five Scouts with hundreds of soldiers who have never seen a Titan before yesterday. You did remarkably under all circumstances. You saved lives.”</p><p>“No one will ever question how big your heart is, my love. You weep for soldiers you have never known, soldiers you have no responsibility to. But I beg you to stop crying. You have achieved so much and I want you to realize that. You saved not just soldiers’ lives but the lives of the citizens of Trost and the citizens of Wall Rose. If we lost Wall Rose, humanity would have been done for.”</p><p>“The Survey Corps’ presence in Trost made all the difference. So, no more tears, Suzuru. You have done beautifully. I want you to see that. There is still much to be done, unfortunately. And I will really need you. I need you at your best, and I’m prepared to support you the entire way.”</p><p>“I love you.” What else could I say to this wonderful man?</p><p>Erwin pressed a kiss to my knuckles. “And I love you.”</p><p>And because we were us – the Commander and his wife who loved their schemes – I had to ask:</p><p>“You have a plan for Eren?”</p><p>“I do. We will pull this off. One way or another, the Survey Corps will have Eren Jaeger.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I got this all out of my system and didn't really review it. There must be a ton of mistakes littered in this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it all the same! I keep coming up with these too late at night so it probably does impact the quality but I'm still having lots of fun!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 3 - After Trost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jenny finished off her report with a morose expression. Just when the doctor cleared me from the infirmary, Jenny had rushed in and exclaimed that she had gathered important information. The Military Police was hell-bent on taking Eren Jaeger completely into their custody. They intended to dissect him and tear him apart until he was no longer human. Because they didn’t believe he was one after he used his ability to save Trost. They wanted to sentence him to a long and painful death.</p><p>“Does the Commander know about this?”</p><p>“I came straight to you, Captain.”</p><p>We needed to inform Erwin right away. I needed to catch up with his plans for Eren, but Erwin had insisted I take more rest. As hard as I fought against my exhaustion, my body caved in. It took me a few days to recover, and when I woke up a few hours ago I was alone. The doctor had been reluctant to let me go but I sweet-talked him by promising I would praise his good services the next time I met with Premier Zackley. The prospect excited the doctor, he was probably imagining a career in Sina. Anywhere was better than serving in the Survey Corps infirmary, and he wasn’t ashamed to tell that to the Captain of the Medicine Division either.</p><p>It bothered me that I needed a cane to walk again. Jenny scurried at my side, keeping up with my brisk pace but sending me obvious, worried looks.</p><p>I heard voices drifting from inside Erwin’s office when we finally arrived in front of his doors.</p><p>I turned to Jenny, “If you can, find out more about the Military Police’s plans for Eren. Anything will be useful. We’ll need to plan this carefully if we want to be granted custody of Eren.” There was no official word yet, but I knew this would result in a military tribunal with two opposing forces: the Scouts and the Military Police. Nile Dok spent all his military career conniving with unscrupulous Nobles and greedy merchants. He would know how to twist a situation and decorate his words to strike fear into the hearts of those with power. But if this were to be a military tribunal, then only one opinion truly mattered. Luckily for me, I’ve been doing word battles with Premier Zackley for years. That would also mean that Nile would want this victory bad. Too many times I have embarrassed him and his Military Police in the name of the Survey Corps. We needed to be prepared.</p><p>Jenny acknowledged my order with a salute and hurried off to seek out her informants once more. I learned to stop asking her how she continued to be looped into the network of Nobles. Her connections were useful, and I wasn’t above milking them for all they were worth. I did it for the Survey Corps. I firmly believed it was the Survey Corps that would lead humanity to the truth behind the Truth. I dedicated my life to seeing it through.</p><p>I knocked on Erwin’s door with my stick, and my husband bid me to enter. Levi, Mike, and Hanji were already inside. The five of us were the top veterans of the Survey Corps. Meetings like this were commonplace despite the abnormal topic we had on the table today.</p><p>“<em>Tch,</em> finally decided to join us?” Levi scoffed.</p><p>“I’m feeling very well, thank you for asking.” The beatific smile I shot him made him roll his eyes, but Levi still stood up and pushed me towards the seat he had just vacated. Levi ended up leaning on the wall beside Mike.</p><p>“Suzuru, we were just discussing the summary report from Trost.”</p><p>“Oh, Suzuru, what I would give to have been there and seen Eren Jaeger’s Titan form in action!” Hanji, from the seat beside me, gushed. “You have to tell us everything. What did its ears look like? Why did the reports say he was emitting steam? Could Jaeger speak in his Titan form?”</p><p>“There will be time for those kinds of questions later, Hanji,” Erwin said calmly but still firmly. Hanji quieted down but her grin was manic. Surely, there were a billion questions bursting in her mind. She was just biding her time.</p><p>“Four days ago, the Colossal Titan appeared at the southern Wall of the Trost District just hours after the Scouts left for their expedition. The Colossal Titan destroyed the Trost gate and the cannons positioned there. This allowed Titans from Wall Maria to enter the city. The Garrison mobilized forces, including the 104<sup>th</sup> Cadet Corps, to evacuate the civilians and take down the Titans. The supply tower was overrun by Titans and the Garrison and Cadet troops were forced to retreat. The soldiers left behind were able to resupply and escape thanks to a rogue Titan. This rogue Titan turned on its own kind and attacked other Titans. Reports say that Titans were inclined to attack this rogue Titan as well.”</p><p>“It was discovered that Cadet Eren Jaeger, from the 104<sup>th</sup>, was actually this rogue Titan. Commander Pixis of the Garrison Corps ordered an operation to retake Trost by using Cadet Jaeger’s Titan-shifting ability. With an elite squad of Scouts protecting Cadet Eren in his Titan form, he was successfully able to lift the boulder and plug the hole that the Colossal Titan made. The combined efforts of the Survey Corps and the Garrison wiped out the Titans who remained in the city.”</p><p>The five of us were quiet for a few moments after Erwin finished, taking the time to mull over the summary report. It was hard for me to believe that it was only days ago that I was flying through the city of Trost and taking down Titans one after the other. It was as if I was the soldier I used to be before the fall of Wall Maria. And to think the outrageous plan of getting a cadet who could turn into a Titan to lift a giant boulder and plug the hole actually <em>worked</em>. The events in Trost and the events in Shiganshina were mixed up in my mind now. If I thought about it too hard, I would get a migraine and be sent back to the infirmary.</p><p>“Is there anything else we need to know, Suzuru?” asked Erwin.</p><p>“It’s possible that the Colossal Titan and Armored Titan are likely the same as Eren. Humans who can turn into Titans.”</p><p>Hanji gasped at my theory and Mike and Levi seemed surprised to hear it.  Erwin’s eyes steadily gazed into mine and it was like I could see his own mind whirring. He was not surprised. If anything, he had been thinking the same.</p><p>“What makes you say that?”</p><p>“Intention,” I said firmly. “Eren’s Titan intended to lift the boulder and seal the Wall. The Colossal Titan appeared and destroyed the gate and cannons. Then it disappeared. Five years ago, the Armored Titan rammed through Shiganshina’s gate and then disappeared.”</p><p>“All the other Titans we’ve fought before just wanted to eat us,” Hanji joined in, her expression brightening with understanding. “But these three had goals.”</p><p>“Then who are the Colossal and Armored?” Mike interjected.</p><p>I shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.”</p><p>“We know Eren Jaeger’s intention,” Erwin said as he pulled an object from his desk drawer. It was a golden key. The same key Eren showed when Commander Pixis gave him the chance to explain himself. “He wants to return to his father’s basement in Wall Maria. He believes the truth about the Titans is in that basement. That’s all he claims to remember. He does not know he turned into a Titan – only that he must get to the basement to discover the truth.”</p><p>Erwin looked at me after finishing explaining. It was too close to our own goal. How much of a coincidence was it that this Titan shifter and I both sought out some form of truth?</p><p>“Who is Eren’s father?” asked Hanji.</p><p>“A Doctor Grisha Jaeger,” Erwin answered.</p><p>“We’ve sent soldiers to find the man, but the trail runs cold at the same time as the fall of Wall Maria,” Mike explained, looking frustrated with the situation.</p><p>“How convenient,” Levi muttered. “The kid loses all his memories and his father is nowhere to be found.”</p><p>“Cadet Jaeger was from Shiganshina. Could you have known his father, Suzu?” Mike asked me.</p><p>I shook my head. “I wasn’t in Shiganshina for very long, really. I wasn’t often allowed to leave my house.” The name truly did not ring any bells. I remembered it being very difficult to find a doctor who would see patients in Wall Maria. That’s why my mother taught me brews and potions made from ingredients we could forage. For a time, I was my family’s healer, but I was only able to soothe minor injuries.</p><p>“Cadet Jaeger proved himself as an ally of humanity when he sealed the hole in Trost,” declared Erwin. “If it’s true that there also humans behind the Colossal and Armored Titans, then Jaeger’s actions would have been counterproductive to whatever goal they have. It is clear that our next step must be to secure custody of Eren Jaeger.”</p><p>Levi muttered something but chose not to butt heads with Erwin any further.</p><p>“Jenny learned about the Military Police’s intentions with Eren. They want to kill him,” I shared.</p><p>“Kill him?! What a waste that would be! Don’t they realize the opportunities Eren opens up for all of humanity?” Hanji wailed.</p><p>“We need to prepare. The Survey Corps must win the custody of Eren Jaeger,” Erwin affirmed.</p><p>“Don’t you have an in with Zackley, Suzu? Can’t you help?” Mike asked.</p><p>“I’ve never had to ask the Premier to give the Scouts a boy that could turn into a Titan. That’s a bit different from meat rations. But I will certainly do everything that I can.”</p><p>“We will win him.” Erwin was unmovable. “The cadet is currently in the custody of the Military Police. We need to find out where and to get access to him. If possible, it has to be cleared with the MP.”</p><p>“I will get my squad on it right away,” I said and immediately stood now that my next step was clear. I was sure Jenny had multiple favors to cash in with various Military Police officials. She probably already knew where Eren was being kept.</p><p>“Good. I need to interrogate him. I could use your support and Levi’s as well.”</p><p>I nodded. Nothing would stop me from getting access to Eren. And I would do it with the proper permissions too because I wanted proof of the Scouts’ impeccable record when it came to Eren. We had to be able to show that were the best choice – the only option really to handle a case like Eren Jaeger.  </p><p>“Oooh, I love it when the Smiths have those devious looks on their faces!” Hanji said gleefully.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The sneers on the faces of the MPs guarding the entrance to the dungeon prison where Eren was kept rivalled the expression on their Commander’s. Jenny heard from her personal grapevine that Commander Nile Dok was fuming all throughout breakfast upon reading the order from Zackley that allowed the Survey Corps access to interview Eren Jaeger.</p><p>Nile wasn’t always as awful as he was now. The Military Police tended to make even the most righteous of soldiers a puppet to their corrupt system. Nile may have wanted to make many changes once he was appointed Commander, but he quickly learned he was at the mercy of the whims of the Nobles. It was the Nobles of the Walls that truly didn’t care about anyone but themselves. My father had wanted to be part of their world. Years after his death, I found that he would never have achieved his dream no matter how many Oriental children he sold.</p><p>Nile’s frustration with his position made him snarky. The Survey Corps was an easy target for his anger.</p><p>“That order from Zackely had your stench written all over it, Smith,” Nile muttered at me.</p><p>Although Erwin and Levi took protective stances in front of me, I gave Nile the best smile I could muster. I wonder if this would have been easier if we were closer during Cadet Training? By the look on Erwin’s face, it was more likely to be the opposite.</p><p>“Good evening, Commander Dok. We are here to see Eren Jaeger. We have the Premier’s approval to be here,” I said, offering my own copy of Zackley’s order. Nile scoffed and ordered the guards to take us down, not even gracing us with a goodbye before stalking off.</p><p>“Charming,” Levi drawled, earning him a growl from one of the MPs leading us down. There was little else the soldier could do against Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.</p><p>Erwin assisted me down the steps. My leg was still reeling from the aftermath of the Battle of Trost. The sight of a broken, high-ranking official in the Survey Corps made our MP guards too gleeful. It made us look weak and incapable. My limping ensured they underestimated us. I found it was the best strategy to play with opponents who were already arrogant. Commander Dok was no longer fooled by my little performances, but these two guards would still spread the words to their comrades who didn’t know otherwise. It would make the Military Police careless. Enough that they wouldn’t notice how the evidence on Mikasa and Eren’s past disappeared from their file. Commander Dok wouldn’t miss it if he never got the chance to read it.</p><p>Levi was never patient with my fabricated showings of weakness, but he kept his mouth shut this time after one penetrating stare from Erwin. The guards left us when we made it down, but I could see two other MPs guarding Eren’s cell.</p><p>The boy was asleep. He was asleep but they still had him sitting upright in chains. A steel mug with a piece of bread sitting on top was left on the ground beside his bed. Their treatment of the savior of Trost was inhumane. This was proof that Eren couldn’t be left in the hands of the Military Police. They were unable to see the value of his existence. Even now they were slowly trying to kill him.</p><p>Erwin set out a chair for me and gestured for me to take a seat. He and Levi stood leaning on the wall on either side of me.</p><p>And now we wait.</p><p>I half-expected us to end with a fruitless visit. The MPs allowed no doctors to see Eren, so we had no idea what his physical state was like. Even if the MPs had some inkling, they would never share it with us Scouts. We would have to visit every evening until we caught Eren awake. Luckily, he began to stir.</p><p>Eren awakened with a gasp.</p><p>I gave him a few seconds to allow his eyes to adjust to the darkened room and to take in the sight of us.</p><p>“How are you feeling, Eren?”</p><p>He couldn’t seem to answer. His breaths were deep and loud. Levi was starting to bristle with annoyance, so I tried again.</p><p>“Eren, do you remember who I am?”</p><p>Finally, the cadet spoke “Captain Suzuru?”</p><p>“That’s right, it’s nice to see you again, Eren. And do you know the men beside me?”</p><p>“Commander Erwin…and Captain Levi…you’re all Scouts.”</p><p>Erwin cut in then “Do you have any questions for us?” I held back a grimace at how serious he sounded. If he wasn’t careful, he could set Eren off into a panic which would alert the MPs. But Erwin has always been the straight-to-business type. He wanted to figure out Eren’s intention straightaway.</p><p>Eren sputtered about for a bit before asking “Where am I?”</p><p>“It should be obvious. Let’s just say it’s a dungeon.”</p><p>“You’re in the custody of the Military Police,” I elaborated. “They took you after you sealed the hole in Trost. We were able to secure permission to see you. My husband was looking forward to finally meeting you in person.” I tried to make him feel more at ease with my words, but Eren was finally noticing the chains he was shackled to. The look in his eyes was both fearful and confused. Not for the first time, I wanted to curse those Military Police who couldn’t even treat the boy with dignity.</p><p>Erwin, cutting to the chase as always, held up Eren’s basement key.</p><p>“That key!”</p><p>“Yes. It’s yours. I’ll return it later.”  Erwin confirmed Eren’s story about his father’s basement. Levi voiced out his suspicions once more, finally breaking his silence, but Erwin shot it down quickly. We had to present a united front. The MPs were still listening.</p><p>“The most important thing we need to know is your intentions,” Erwin told Eren. He further explained what it would take for the Survey Corps to reach Eren’s basement. He even went as far as to share our suspicions about the Colossal and Armored Titan.</p><p>It took Eren a moment to answer, and Levi was getting more and more impatient.</p><p>I spoke up once more “Trust us, Eren. I know it’s a lot to ask and you haven’t even had the proper time to think about everything that’s happened. But we’re asking you to trust us and in return, we will trust you. The Survey Corps will help you reach your father’s basement.”</p><p>“So, what will it be, brat?” Levi asked.</p><p>Eren was breathing heavily again.</p><p>
  <em>“I want to join the Survey Corps and kill every Titan that I can.”</em>
</p><p>That obviously caught Levi’s attention. And it put a smirk on Erwin’s face. As for me, I felt relieved. Erwin has been so confident that we could win the cadet. But until now, I had no way of knowing if our decisions were what Eren wanted. Even though Eren would be subjected to whatever Zackley decided, it was still important to know what he wanted. His desires would form his intentions.</p><p>“Erwin, I’ll take responsibility for him. Make it happen, princess,” Levi said to the two of us as he stared Eren down through the cell bars.</p><p>Then Levi told Eren he would kill him the moment he stepped out of line and this time I didn’t stop myself from sighing. Levi was never known for his finesse with words. I expected more from Erwin, but time was of the essence now. Luckily for us, Eren seemed to be starstruck at the sight of the Scouts. It reminded me of his initial reaction to meeting me.</p><p>The Military Police were quick to remind us when our time was up. Erwin promised Eren that the Survey Corps would fight for him and that we would see him again soon, but that just made the cadet even more confused. I wasn’t given the chance to elaborate as the MP soldiers were already escorting us out.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>I saluted to the Premier upon entering his office. Zackley’s men closed the door behind me and I was left alone with the most powerful man in the military. Zackley’s sigh was heavy and tired. From the get-go, I could tell that this would not be an easy meeting.</p><p>“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick you out of my office right now, Captain Smith.”</p><p>“Because I can make you a good offer in exchange for Cadet Eren Jaeger, Sir.”</p><p>“The trial is in three hours. Do you think you’re the first one to make that kind of offer?”</p><p>“No, sir, but I’m confident my offer will be the only one that matters.”</p><p>Zackley sighed again but this time gestured for me to take a seat. This wasn’t the first time I came to him with a bribe. Noblemen and military officials were never pleased with the amount of resources each Scouting expedition consumed. Ever since Erwin became Commander, our expeditions increased. As much as Zackley loved to irk the Nobles, he could only go so far.</p><p>Premier Zackley was not a good man. He didn’t care about anyone but himself. He hated with a vengeance and never forgot a grudge. This made him all too willing to accept any blackmail about the Nobles that I could offer.</p><p>“I’m listening, Smith.”</p><p>“This information is regarding the Church of the Walls,” I said as I slid over the report to him. For the first time, my information didn’t come from Jenny but from the Russo brothers. Like clockwork, members of the Church visited the Underground every month to purchase a female in the black market. Black Market purchases and people trafficking were matters that Zackley hardly batted an eye at. It was the reason for the purchases that would make him give me what I want.</p><p>“Lord Reiss is having affairs? With a different woman each month?”</p><p>I held up another folder. “Yes. And if you give Cadet Jaeger to the Survey Corps, I have here the complete list of names of the poor girls, where they came from, their captors and sellers, and the names of the Church members who made the purchases.”</p><p>Zackley leaned back on his armchair with a content smile. “The Nobles will not be pleased.”</p><p>
  <em>I got him.</em>
</p><p>“Lord Reiss is taking care this time. When word about his first affair with that maid came out, it was quite the scandal in those circles.” Jenny had told me how it made the other Nobles distrustful of Lord Reiss. His power came from owning the precious farming lands humanity had left in Wall Rose and Sina. He was one of the quieter Nobles who kept a low profile, but when the news of his scandal broke out – Nobles were furious. They used their influence to have the Military Police kill the woman and the illegitimate child. The Church was close to banning Lord Reiss, Jenny had shared. She also said we were still missing important details. To those outside their elite circles, all we understood is that Lord Reiss having an affair meant he had committed the greatest of sins. It was strange that he would be so ostracized when every Noble family had their own affair and cheating scandals. What made Lord Reiss’ affair different?</p><p>It didn’t matter to Zackley that we didn’t have the full picture. Information that could send the Nobles into a tizzy was more than enough for him.</p><p>“Give Cadet Jaeger to the Survey Corps, and I will have one of my men submit this to you before the day ends, Sir,” I said, dangling the paper that contained the information that would complete the evidence.</p><p>“I will keep that in mind, Captain. Now get out of my office. You need to put on a show to convince me.”</p><p>Premier Zackley hardly gave me his word when accepting blackmail. But the way he pored over the information he already had, eyes lighting up with excitement, made me sure that I had what I wanted. Zackley wanted a show. There was no way he was going to make it seem that a lowly <em>Captain</em> could convince the Premier to be swayed to their cause, especially in a trial like this. We still had to earn Eren Jaeger. I trusted that Erwin and Levi could take care of this part.</p><p>Karl saluted to me as I exited Zackley’s office. It was one of Erwin’s stipulations that I always have at least one Scout escorting me whenever I found myself in Wall Sina. We made it so it appeared that I needed assistance due to my crippled leg. Erwin was just being protective – he didn’t want to have to worry about another abduction attempt.</p><p>“And how are the fair citizens of Sina taking the news of our Titan friend?”</p><p>“They’re already trying to find a way to plug the Sina gate with a boulder.” The rich citizens of Sina were worried about food shortages and violent insurrections. If the Titans took over Wall Rose, they would never accept refugees – horrified by the aftermath of the fall of Wall Maria. No, they would lock themselves in and keep everyone else out.</p><p>“Then they will surely hate it when the Survey Corps secures the cadet.”</p><p>In the Survey Corps Sina HQ, we veterans finalized our plan. After his walk with Commander Pixis, Erwin confirmed that the Garrison would make no move to obtain Eren but wouldn’t show their support for the Survey Corps outright either. After much cajoling from Hanji, she and Mike were assigned to be the ones to pick up Eren and bring him to the trial.</p><p>“The Premier wants a performance. We need to show that the Survey Corps will be the perfect handler for a Titan-shifter.”</p><p>Erwin only needed a second to come up with a plan. Watching his mind work as he the strategy was wonderful. I never tired of witnessing Erwin at work. He was the best Commander the Survey Corps has ever seen.</p><p>“Please try to not kill him, Levi.”</p><p>“If the little shit can survive getting his arm and leg cut off, then he can survive one kick.”</p><p>It was not only one kick.</p><p>At the trial, words of my squad’s valor and success in Trost with Eren seemed to fall on deaf ears when it came to the Military Police, the merchants, and the Church of the Walls. Zackley was more than happy to put the non-military officials in their place, but they still managed to rankle and strike fear into the audience. Everyone was afraid that Eren would turn on humanity. They wanted to get rid of the unknown. And after Eren’s outburst when they tried to accuse Cadets Ackerman and Arlert of being traitors to humanity for defending Eren, the audience was even more suspicious. So Levi had to kick him – again and again for good measure.</p><p>My lips trembled and my eyes were watering with angry, unshed tears at the abuse Eren was receiving. Abuse that Erwin concocted from his scheming mind. The Scouts had to watch stoically. We were not to react. We had to trust Levi and Erwin. It was a necessary performance. Holding on to my walking stick on display for all to see, I understood the value of performance more than anyone.</p><p>It was still hard to watch Eren, who was so selfless and ardent about wanting to save humanity, be treated so violently.</p><p>“Wait, Levi!” I was mildly surprised when Commander Dok was the first to protest.</p><p>“What?” was Levi’s reply.</p><p>“That’s d-dangerous!” Nile exclaimed. “What if he gets mad and turns into a Titan?”</p><p>Another kick. “Don’t be silly. Weren’t you going to dissect him? How did you plan to do that without making him bleed? If he turns into a Titan, then I will just kill him.”</p><p>At this, Levi turned to our opponents. The Military Police. The Merchants. The Church of the Walls. All of whom had no idea what lied outside of humanity’s Walls. They’ve deluded themselves into thinking we were powerful because we were safe. Every Scout knew the truth: the Titans trapped us in our Walls.</p><p>It made me remember my father’s words: <em>Humanity that lives within the Walls are no better than sheep, living life unaware that wolves lurk behind them. Only the humans who can remember the Truth are the ones worthy of living. </em></p><p>I still didn’t know if I truly believed in my father’s truth.</p><p>“Sir. I have a proposition.” And Erwin did this thing. The performance was done perfectly. After recounting my role in the Battle of Trost, I hadn’t spoken a word again during the entire trial. It would do no good to show my familiarity with Zackley. Erwin was formal and convincing. No one could question Zackley’s decision of giving Eren to the Survey Corps.</p><p>“In our next expedition, the Survey Corps will prove why Eren Jaeger is essential to saving humanity from the Titans. The Corps has Captain Levi and Squad Suzuru – strong soldiers who are more than capable of taking down Jaeger if he strikes out. We will not fail.”</p><p>“I’ve made my decision. Custody of Eren Jaeger will be turned over to the Survey Corps. Erwin, he is your responsibility now. You will answer for all his actions.”</p><p>“Heard, Premier.”</p><p>“Then this hearing is concluded. Dismissed!”</p><p>After our salute and Zackley’s exit, I finally breathed a sigh of relief. Levi made quick work of having Eren’s chains undone and prepared to transport him back to HQ.</p><p>“Lili, Jenny,” I called the attention of my squad members. “Bring Cadets Ackerman and Arlert to me. I’d like to speak with them before we return to HQ. Peter, deliver the document to the Premier’s office as we discussed. Karl, with me.”</p><p>I wore a pleased grin on my face as I exited the hall on Erwin’s arm. I greeted the other military officials I knew with a nod and chuckled privately at the disdained looks they shot back. Erwin and I presented a united front to all onlookers. The Smiths of the Survey Corps were not to be trifled with.</p><p>I unlatched myself from Erwin as our men prepared the horses and followed Lili who led me to a secluded area a few meters away.</p><p>“Captain Suzuru!” Armin gasped and he and Mikasa did a salute.</p><p>“At ease, cadets. This isn’t official business.”</p><p>“Where are you taking Eren?”</p><p>“Mikasa!” Armin immediately tried to scold his friend, but she did not ease up on her glare.</p><p>My giggle probably didn’t help matters, but it did relieve some of the tension on my squad’s shoulders.</p><p>“I’m going to have to ask you to trust me. We will protect Eren, as we did in Trost.”</p><p>Mikasa didn’t answer back this time and just maintained the scowl on her face.</p><p>“Will I see you both in the Survey Corps?”</p><p>“Yes, we’ve always planned to join with Eren,” Armin said.</p><p>I smiled at the cadets. It would be good for Eren to have his friends to support him. Because of his ability, everything was going to change. He needed to be surrounded with people he could trust.</p><p>“Good. The Survey Corps will be lucky to have two capable soldiers joining our ranks.”</p><p>“Captain, it’s time to depart,” Karl called my attention.</p><p>“I promise,” I said, making sure to look at Mikasa and Armin in the eyes. “I will protect Eren. He is safe with me.”</p><p>Mikasa tugged on the red scarf she wore around her neck. “Thank you, Captain.”</p><p>I shot the two cadets one last reassuring smile and followed my squad member to the carriages that would take us to HQ. While we waited for Eren’s friends to follow, we would have to make sure Eren had all the support he needed.  </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Erwin decided that Eren would be Squad Levi’s responsibility. While Eren and Squad Levi hid out in the Old Scout Headquarters, I was needed to keep things running in our current Wall Rose HQ. We were expecting a new batch of recruits to join and were rushing to prepare for an expedition set to occur a month from now. Hanji’s squad was also throwing themselves into researching our two Titan captives. Everyone was in a frenzy of training and preparations. All eyes would be on the Survey Corps in this expedition.</p><p>“What do you think is in that basement?” Erwin asked as we lied next to each other the first night following Eren’s trial.</p><p>“I hope it’s the truth we’ve been searching for since we became Scouts,” I said as I curled into him. Erwin’s arms wrapped around me and I felt him plant a kiss on my head.</p><p>“We will reach the basement and find the truth,” Erwin swore to me. After his promise, we let our bodies do most of the talking. After each steamy kiss, Erwin whispered to me his plans for the expedition. In between my legs, he convinced me of how he planned to draw the other possible Titan shifters out. It was a classic strategy of distracting with bait. With his lips on my neck and his fingers stroking me, Erwin spoke of a shared dream of seeing the fantastical things we believed existed beyond the Walls. Giant bodies of water and flying ships in the sky. He finished me by repeating his promise – to reach the basement and find the truth.</p><p>“Together,” I commanded and Erwin was all too eager to agree.</p><p>Our perfectly happy moment ended and we threw ourselves back to work with renewed determination. I led the organizing of the resources and schedule of the expedition. Erwin constantly worked on planning our formation for this expedition, spending long hours in his office poring over plans. Hanji and her squad worked on experiments with the captured Titans and I dedicated a few hours a week to supporting her efforts. Sometimes, Hanji just needed a different person to throw around ideas with. Mike pushed our Scouts hard in training and ensured all our Scouts were performing at peak. Levi consistently reported on Eren’s progress, but it seemed as if Titan-shifter was only improved in his cleaning skills rather than his shifting ability.</p><p>The next time I saw Eren was when Hanji’s beloved pet Titans Sawney and Bean were killed overnight. Individuals familiar with ODM gear had to be the culprit. At first, I suspected it was the work of Military Police – angry as they were with the results of the trial. But Jenny confirmed with her sources that the Military Police were too tied up in other matters to even think about the Scouts’ Titans. No MP soldier has been seen outside of Wall Sina in the past three days. The investigation had also accounted for the presence and gear of all Cadets.</p><p>The situation only convinced Erwin further that there were more Titan shifters like Eren who were working against humanity. Our enemy was unknown – we didn’t know their faces, their numbers, or their ultimate goals. They destroyed our Walls so that Titans could enter and attack us. It was possible that they destroyed our captive Titans to make sure we didn’t learn more about the monsters that trapped us. Our opponents wanted to keep humanity in the dark about the Titans. They would rather we were all eaten.</p><p>“Suzuru,” Erwin called as he entered my office. My squad scrambled to their feet and saluted their Commander.</p><p>“Erwin, what brings you here?”</p><p>“I’m paying Levi a visit. I’m bringing you and Mike along, we leave immediately.” Erwin didn’t elaborate any further, but I could tell there was something concerning him. It wasn’t often that Erwin so blatantly sought out our support, so I didn’t question it.</p><p>“Very well,” I said, taking it all in stride. Erwin gave me a few minutes to tie up loose ends I had for the day. I left Karl in charge of my squad and today’s activities. By now, we were used to preparing for expeditions. I trusted they could go one day without me.</p><p>Erwin helped me into the carriage that would take us to the old Survey Corps HQ. Mike hopped in to sit across us and we set off immediately. It would take us around an hour to get there.</p><p>“I don’t think Levi will be very happy with an ambush,” Mike said.</p><p>“Eren Jaeger has yet to transform into a Titan. The expedition is less than 3 weeks away.”</p><p>Proving Eren was an asset to humanity wouldn’t work out very well if he couldn’t transform into a Titan at all. Although Eren should still be recovering after the Battle of Trost, I found it hard to believe that he couldn’t muster up a transformation. When his friends were in danger, he didn’t need to think twice about transforming. And again when the operation to retake the city commenced, Eren had no trouble turning into a Titan. The weeks leading up to the expedition were meant to figure out how to control Eren while he was in Titan form. Squad Levi was at a loss after trying to get Eren to transform. They tried putting his life in danger or even going as far as threatening their own lives to get him to transform. Hanji was roped in to help after Sawney and Bean were gone, but there hasn’t been any progress. It was disheartening and Erwin was right to be concerned.</p><p>“And you’re heading there to what, <em>command</em> the kid to transform?” Mike questioned.</p><p>“I’m hoping we will be able to offer another perspective,” answered Erwin.</p><p>We rode the rest of the journey in silence, the three of us lost in our thoughts on how we could get Eren to transform. Erwin would surely speak to Levi and Hanji to get a report in person. Since he brought me and Mike, he expected us to share our own opinions of the situation. Everything rested on Eren’s ability to transform. If he suddenly lost it, then our hopes for retaking Wall Maria soon were dashed. And we would be even farther from figuring out the identity behind the other possible Titan shifters. We needed to get Eren to transform to learn more about his abilities and more about the Titans. If we didn’t make any remarkable findings, then he could possibly be turned over to the Military Police to be sentenced to death.</p><p>We had to save him.</p><p>One of Levi’s men, Gunther, was there to greet us when the carriage arrived at the old headquarters. After a quick salute, he led us to where Levi and Hanji were gathered with the rest of Squad Levi and Eren.</p><p>“Levi, Hanji,” Erwin greeted the two with a single nod. Levi muttered something to his squad before he and Hanji made their way towards us.</p><p>“What do you want, Erwin?” Levi scowled.</p><p>“I want a report on Eren’s progress. And a demonstration.”</p><p>“Everything was in my written report, Eyebrows.” If possible, Levi got even more snarky. “There’s been no progress aside from Hanji stabbing the kid with a fork and the wound closing up quickly.”</p><p>“Still, run me through it.”</p><p>I didn’t stick around for Levi’s exasperated report. Instead, I made my way over to where Eren was sitting with Squad Levi.</p><p>“Good morning,” I greeted them with a smile.</p><p>“Captain Suzuru!” Petra, who’s always been a sweet girl and smart soldier, returned my smile.</p><p>“What brings the Commander here, Captain?” Oluo said, purposefully making his voice deep. I held back a laugh when I noticed that he had styled his hair similarly to Levi’s. Gunther and Eld had no problem sniggering once they noticed my reaction.</p><p>“We’ve delivered some supplies. We’re to receive the new recruits here very soon,” I said, offering the secondary reason for our visit. I moved my gaze towards the main reason that brought us here.</p><p>“Eren, it’s good to see you outside of that cell. How are you feeling?”</p><p>Squad Levi chuckled over how Eren scrambled to stand and give me a belated salute.</p><p>“Captain Suzuru! I’m doing well. Captain Levi and Captain Hanji and all the soldiers here have made me feel very welcome.”</p><p>I gave him a genuine smile. “That’s so good to hear, Eren. I’ve been worried. I hope you’re not feeling lonely.”</p><p>“No, ma’am. I feel fine.”</p><p>“Very good,” I said. “Then you would have no problem helping me move some supplies to the medical wing?”</p><p>“Of course!”</p><p>I could feel everyone’s eyes on us as I led Eren to the carriage that brought us here. Squad Levi were keeping a watchful eye on their charge, and Erwin and the other veterans watched us from the corner of their eyes. Erwin brought me here so I could give him my assessment of the situation. That means I needed to talk to Eren.</p><p>Eren insisted he carry all three crates while I held on to a sack that contained the few fragile instruments we needed in the infirmary. We walked slowly to make sure Eren could keep his balance and in accommodation for my limp.</p><p>“Levi has reported that there hasn’t been any progress in your Titan transformations,” I said as we walked together. “Is all truly well, Eren?”</p><p>Eren blushed and looked ashamed. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I feel fine but I just can’t transform.” I noticed his hands were bandaged. He must have bit the skin there multiple times already. Even with his accelerated healing, him constantly opening the wound could leave deep damage.</p><p>“Don’t worry. Hanji is a genius and Levi is the most stubborn man, only second to my husband. And I believe in you. I saw what you did in Trost, I know you have it in you to transform.”</p><p>Eren was still abashed. “Thank you, Captain.”</p><p>“Aren’t your hands in pain, Eren?” There were faint red marks that showed his wounds were bleeding. “Should you really be carrying all those boxes?”</p><p>“It’s really fi─<em>Captain!</em>”</p><p>My left leg chose that very moment to go into a spasm. I hadn’t been anticipating it, so a look of shock and pain must have crossed my face as I fell forward. The sack with the medical devices fell from my grip and I registered the sound of glass breaking. Rolls of bandages and bottles of medicine also seemed to fly around me. All those observations were pushed to the back of my mind.</p><p>It was the searing flash of light right before my eyes that had my complete attention. It looked like yellow lightning. There was only one other time I had seen this light before, although in Trost I was at the opposite end of the city.</p><p>Steam followed light. I broke into a sweat as the air around me suddenly became extremely warm. I was lying on something hard and white. It took me a few seconds to realize I was looking at bone. And when I looked up, I saw the face of a Titan. Half of it was covered in red muscle while the other half was plain, white skull. Eren’s body was exposed at the neck and he was panicking.</p><p>“Why now?! I don’t understand!” Eren cried.</p><p>“Eren…” I finally gasped out.</p><p>“Captain Suzuru! Are you okay?” Eren exclaimed.</p><p>“Calm down,” another voice joined in. A beat later, I realized it was Levi talking.</p><p>“Captain Levi!” Eren exclaimed, but Levi’s words were not meant for him. As the smoke cleared, I saw we were surrounded on every side by Squad Levi members. Levi stood between Eren and his men. Not far behind, Mike stood with his blades out while Erwin watched with wide eyes. When his eyes found mine, I gave him a silent nod to show that I was okay.</p><p>“Lower your blades,” Erwin ordered but Squad Levi was tense.</p><p>“Eren! Why did you transform without our permission?!”</p><p>“What were you thinking?!”</p><p>“Prove to us you’re not the enemy! Right now!”</p><p>“If you make any move towards Captain Suzuru, you will regret it!”</p><p>“Calm down, all of you,” Levi repeated, his voice louder and sterner. “Didn’t you hear the Commander?”</p><p>“Captain Levi! Please step away from Eren. You’re too close!”</p><p>“No, Petra, you all are the ones who should step away,” Levi said. “That’s an order. Put down blades and step away from Eren.”</p><p>But even Levi couldn’t get a grip on his men. They must have been anticipating Eren lashing out since the moment he was turned over to Survey Corps custody. Eren stared wide-eyed as Squad Levi yelled out to him, ordering him to prove himself and asking him why he would betray us. He watched as Squad Levi declared they weren’t afraid to kill him.</p><p>
  <em>“Would you guys please be quiet!!!!!!” </em>
</p><p>Eren’s cry effectively silenced the soldiers.</p><p>Except Hanji.</p><p>The scientist even knocked Erwin aside in her mad dash to Eren’s Titan form. She was glowing with awe and curiosity at finally being able to witness one of Eren’s transformations. Hanji was drooling at the mouth at being so close to Eren’s partial Titan. Even though his transformation was only the head and torso, Hanji was over the moon with happiness.</p><p>“Please, Eren, can I touch that arm? Please!!!!!!!”</p><p>“Captain Hanji, wait!”</p><p>Hanji set her hands on the exposed sinew and leaped back when the touch burned.</p><p>“So hot – oh it’s amazing – hot! hot! – Eren, aren’t you burning? – hot! hot! hot! – your hand is fused to your Titan! How? How do you do that? – <em>aaaaaah</em>, so hot!”</p><p>Moblit tried in vain to calm down his Captain, but Hanji was unstoppable. Eren wrenched his fused hand out if his Titan and another plume of Smoke emitted from carcass he left behind. The bones of the Titan hand I found myself in were crumbling beneath me. When Eren detached from his Titan, it immediately began deteriorating. Hanji was despondent but looked shocked to see me sitting there.</p><p>“Eh, Suzu? What are you doing there? Are you sitting in the Titan’s hand?”</p><p>“Yes. My leg suddenly spasmed and Eren tried to…”</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>“What is it?! What did Eren try to do? How did you make him transform?”</p><p>The answer was before us all along. <em>Intention</em>. Eren was trying to stop my fall. Eren wanted to protect his friends. Eren wanted to seal the hole in Trost. Eren wanted to live and fight another day.</p><p>Hanji was still peppering me with questions when Erwin found me and drew me up to my feet.</p><p>“Suzu, are you alright?”</p><p>I was more than alright. We had the answer to Eren’s transformation difficulties. It was one step, but it was a big one. Upon sharing my findings, Hanji pulled Eren to her and immediately conducted her own trial with positive results. <em>Eren, pick that flower! Bite your hand first! </em></p><p>Eren gave us hope. Eren was the key to Erwin’s journey for redemption. Erwin would be able to live a life free from what happened to his father. Eren was the key to my own desire to seek out the truth behind my father’s Truth. Eren was the key to humanity reigning victorious over the monsters that forced us behind these Walls.</p><p>I gripped Erwin’s hand tightly and couldn’t stop myself from grinning. My husband looked both confused and amused by my glee. I was just so happy that we would both our dreams were within our reach. All thanks to Eren Jaeger.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter ended up a tad bit longer than usual. It would have been longer but I stopped myself because I have work tomorrow (lol today) and I don't want to be staying up until 4am haha. Not too action-packed just yet, and I'm still unsure how far we'll go in the next chapter as well. I hope you enjoy how I try to incorporate Suzu into the canon story. I'm enjoying setting up the next part of our story and I hope you're looking forward to seeing what's next.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 3.5 - Before the Expedition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite Erwin’s sobering recruitment speech, the number of recruits filing into the Old Scout Headquarters was higher than expected. Eren’s impact was more meaningful than he would ever know. I was the only Scout with a smile for the new recruits, my own squad and Officer Ness and his men were looking very serious.</p><p>As always, the welcoming was left to me. Levi was holing up in his office, catching a few last seconds of peace. Erwin, Mike, and Hanji were back in the main HQ – still deep into planning the formation for the upcoming expedition. Erwin’s plans to root out the traitors – possibly the same individuals who killed Sawney and Bean – were already in motion. Erwin was playing the long game. He revealed information specifically chosen to tempt traitors into trying to act during our next expedition. We all needed to play our roles well to ensure that his plan works.</p><p>I waited for all the recruits to gather around the main entrance of the building. I spotted Cadets Mikasa and Armin immediately. Mikasa was looking around frantically, probably searching for Eren. But Levi was extremely strict with Eren’s schedule. Sadly, there wouldn’t be too many chances for Eren to meet up with his old comrades. I would bring it up with Levi later for sure.</p><p>“Welcome, everyone. I’m really so glad you’re here,” I greeted, and the recruits had a mixed bag of expressions. Some looked as if they were about to offer a salute. Others wore the same awestruck expression I received from Eren when I first met him in Trost. A few looked confused at my civilian attire of a long skirt instead of the standard pants and brown leather straps. Some even warily eyed the walking stick I leaned on. Maybe they were starting to question their own choices. I wanted so badly to ease any discomfort.</p><p>“I am so honored to be in the presence of such selfless and noble soldiers. You made the difficult choice to dedicate your lives to humanity. For that, your superiors will now give our most earnest salutes. <em>Shinzou wo sasageyo!</em>” In unison, the veteran Scouts saluted the new recruits. Although I didn’t have Erwin’s hair-raising ability to bellow out battle cries, it warmed me to see the soldiers salute back just as fervently.</p><p>“At ease, soldiers. Thank you very much,” I said. “Allow me to introduce myself – I am Captain Suzuru Smith of the Administrative and Medicine Division. I report directly to Commander Erwin. Feel free to call me Suzu.”</p><p>One by one, I asked our new recruits to introduce themselves and I locked their names into my mind. As they were now officially Scouts, I cared for them as if they were one of my own. Even though all signs were saying that there was likely a traitor in our midst, I really hoped we wrong. They were my people now. Was I prepared for a painful truth?</p><p>“Armin Arlert, ma’am! From the Shiganshina District!” Armin cried and saluted when it was his turn to introduce himself.</p><p>“Welcome, Armin. I’m happy to see you again.” I held out my hand for him to shake. When he did, I continued “We could always use sharp minds like yours in the Corps. We’re very lucky to have you here.”</p><p>“Mikasa Ackerman, from Shiganshina,” said Mikasa when it was her turn.</p><p>“<em>Okaeri, Mika-chan,</em>” I greeted her, trying to emulate my mother. Welcome home, I told her. It’s been years since I’ve said that greeting. As a young girl, I would say it everyday when my brothers returned from hunting in the woods and when my father returned from his business in the city.</p><p>There was the chance Mikasa wouldn’t know the words. According to the report Jenny intercepted from reaching the MP, at a young age Mikasa had lost her parents in a foiled abduction. She and Eren had killed men more than twice their age to escape free. Although it would have made tricky evidence during the tribunal, it did explain Mikasa’s attachment to Eren.</p><p>Mikasa’s eyes teared up and I knew I shouldn’t have worried. Her emotional showcase surprised the other recruits – the ones Sasha and Connie even gasping audibly.</p><p>Mikasa gave me a quick bow, whispering “<em>Tadaima.</em>”</p><p>“Where is Eren?” she asked.</p><p>“<em>Mikasa!</em>” Armin was scolding her again, and it made me giggle once more just like during our last exchange.</p><p>“Eren is safe and healthy, there’s no need for you to worry. I’m sure you will see him soon before the expedition,” I assured her, saying she ought to focus first on getting settled in with the Scouts.</p><p>We finished up introductions and I was glad to finally be able to put names to faces. We had a sizable group joining us this time and I had no doubt Erwin would put them to work right away. It was likely that after the coming expedition, half of these faces would be gone. I was left with a few weeks to get to know them better.</p><p>“To commemorate your arrival, we have prepared a simple fare for dinner tonight. Come to the dining hall at 6PM and don’t be late. The food won’t taste as good cold. Officer Ness and his men will show you where you will be staying. Dismissed.”</p><p>“Yes, Ma’am!”</p><p>
  <em>“MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!”</em>
</p><p>During dinner, I laughed openly at the antics of the recruits while Levi scoffed at them from beside me. The soldiers from the 104<sup>th</sup> Training Corps were an active and jovial bunch. The mere sight of meat made Sasha go insane and her comrades turned protective of their own share when she ripped through hers immediately. The meat was a pleasant surprise for our recruits. I ensured the Survey Corps didn’t use meat as propaganda. The Survey Corps are the finest of humanity’s soldiers and we deserved choice foods. I would never allow my soldiers to go hungry.</p><p>“Be ready to depart in an hour, princess,” Levi told me, and I nodded as I chewed. It was only the third time he reminded me, after all. Erwin was calling us for another meeting. On tonight’s agenda is an update on the new recruits and any new developments in his plans.</p><p>Levi and I walked on our own to the stables. Our squads would have a reprieve for the night. Levi was a good enough bodyguard for Erwin’s standards and Squad Levi had to stay behind to guard Eren. On our way to the stables, we spotted two new recruits still out of their rooms. One was a stocky blonde and the other a long-limbed and quiet – Reiner and Bertholdt.</p><p>Levi was unimpressed.</p><p>“Oi, cadets.”</p><p>Reiner and Bertholdt sprang to attention at Levi’s call.</p><p>“Lights out is in five minutes, and you two stink like my horse’s ass. Get out of here and hit the showers.” The two cadets didn’t protest and stalked off briskly. Levi was always too harsh with his men but they at least returned my greeting when I called out a ‘good night!’.</p><p>They were standing in the courtyard a level below the offices. Were they waiting for something?</p><p>“What is it?” Levi asked me but I shook my head. It wouldn’t be good to be too paranoid. I needed to imitate Erwin and play my own long game. I had to get to know the recruits and let them get to know me. I could be vulnerable while the rest of the old Squad Erwin watched my back. It was the recruits’ first night. Everyone experienced jitters.</p><p>On our horses, it was a short trip to the main Wall Rose Scout Headquarters. The whole base was dark as it was past curfew, but the candles in Erwin’s office blazed brightly. Erwin sat at his desk, looking as if he hadn’t moved from there since this morning. Hanji lounged comfortably in one of the armchairs on the opposite side of his desk, while Mike stood leaning against the wall behind him.</p><p>“Suzuru, Levi – thank you for making the trip.”</p><p>I walked over to Erwin’s desk so I could offer him my hand. He kissed the top of it, our usual greeting when we were meeting for official business. Hanji played around and grabbed my other hand, planting a kiss there too. I chuckled and took a seat beside her.</p><p>“Let’s get to the point, Eyebrows. I ride out at dawn tomorrow with my squad and the brat.” Even if Erwin’s meeting lasted until the morning, Levi would be on-time for his ride out – already scolding his squad and Eren for walking too slowly in the morning.</p><p>“Of course. What can you tell me about the new recruits?”</p><p>“They were scared shitless,” Levi started, even though he had only caught a glimpse of their antics at dinner. “What the hell did you say to them during the Choosing Ceremony?”</p><p>“I spoke the truth, as we discussed,” Erwin seemed amused at Levi’s description and then he turned to me.</p><p>“And you, Suzu? What do you think of the recruits?”</p><p>Erwin listened intently as I spoke about each of our new recruits. There were certainly notable ones. Like Krista Lenz who was using a fake name – it was Jenny who privately called her out to me. My squad member was certain she was a noble bastard, but she needed time to find out exactly whose bastard she was. The recruit called Ymir stuck to Krista’s side like glue. She seemed more loyal to the noble bastard than the Corps. There was Sasha and Connie who greatly amused me. Jean was polite but seemed to be grieving. Of course, there was Mikasa and Armin who had joined to follow Eren. Then there was Reiner and Bertholdt. I only said they looked like capable soldiers, but I couldn’t shake off my encounter with them earlier. I still wanted to be certain about them before I brought them to Erwin’s attention. It was only the first night.</p><p>“Very good. Let’s continue to keep an eye on them. We’ll be wrapping up soon here and transfer the rest of the Corps to the old headquarters by the end of the week.”</p><p>Then Erwin discussed the most recent developments in his plans. I found the concept a little funny, but Erwin had finally finished going around and asking the Scouts who they thought the true enemy was. Only a few Scouts answered with suitable responses, most of them veterans since before the fall of Wall Maria. It made a lot of sense to put our trust in those Scouts. The traitors could have arrived in the Walls five years ago when Shiganshina was attacked by the Colossal and Armored Titans. If we were to go with our theory that those two were Titan Shifters like Eren, then that left very few Scouts who could be free from our suspicions. Soldiers who were Scouts before the fall of Wall Maria would be assigned to Erwin’s Command Squad.</p><p>Squad Levi would be in the center rear of the formation, but their position needed to be a well-kept secret. Erwin would plant decoy squads in the fake positions we would designate Squad Levi in. This way, we would be able to weed out possible traitors based on where they would attack first.</p><p>Squad Hanji and Squad Mike would be supporting Erwin’s Command Squad and will join him in the forest of Giant Trees if the traitor shows up. The front for this expedition was a standard resupply run as a trial for Eren. But if the traitors revealed themselves – whether in Titan form or not – then the expedition would have a new goal. Erwin’s chosen Scouts would have to direct the formation to the forest.</p><p>My squad would be joining the expedition for the first time in a long time. While we had the decoy positions for Levi Squad, my squad would be a bigger distraction. Squad Suzu was to be the support squad – the first line of defense against the Titans as the expedition first rolls out. Any Titans we encountered within the first city closest to the gate would be handled by my squad. It was the most dangerous position in the formation, and everyone would be aghast that the Commander would put his own wife in such a place.</p><p>After clearing the city, my squad would transition from support squad to communication squad. We would be spread out across the formation to relay communication. It would be our task to spot the traitor and call it out to the Commander so that Erwin could take control of the situation as soon as possible.</p><p>It was essential that I joined this expedition. Erwin needed his best soldiers to be able to outsmart the traitors who have already dealt big blows of damage to the last of humanity. None of my squad cleared Erwin’s questioning. Karl – the most veteran squad member – joined in the first batch following the fall of Wall Maria. I needed to be present to lead my squad effectively, even though that fact didn’t sit well with Erwin or any of the others in the room.</p><p>“Suzu’s squad is trustworthy. Each one was handpicked by Erwin himself,” Hanji tried to reason.</p><p>“We can’t be too sure anymore, Hanji.” Mike grumbled.</p><p>Erwin stayed silent. It was as if explaining my part in his plan out loud made it real for him. He was asking me to put my life on the line for another gamble. Usually, I had to beg to get in an expedition.</p><p>“I can do this, Erwin. I’ve been a Scout for just as long as you, and longer than everyone else in this room.”</p><p>“I would never doubt your capabilities, wife.” This time, Erwin smiled at me, but it was a sad smile. “Forgive me for not resting easy when I have to ask you to put your life in danger for a plan of mine.”</p><p>“<em>Tch</em>, we can pull this off without you joining, Princess,” Levi said.</p><p>“No, we can’t,” Hanji said, looking thoughtful and somber.</p><p>“I want to be in this expedition,” I declared. “I deserve to find out the truth, just as much as any of you. I’m more than willing to do my part so we can get there.”</p><p>Erwin let out a deep sigh, cutting off any protests the others might have come up with against me.</p><p>“Then this shall be our plan. End of discussion.”</p><p>Before Levi and I departed, Erwin promised me that we would be together again by the end of the week. I was used to nights apart. Erwin dedicated plenty of his time to his duties and some expeditions have gone on for days. But the meeting tonight weighed heavily on his shoulders, and I found myself comforting him.</p><p>I sat myself on Erwin’s knees and cupped his face in my palms. Hanji and Mike had already called it a night, while Levi left to ready our horses. We were alone.</p><p>“I promise it’s okay for you to ask me to do this.”</p><p>“It will never be okay,” Erwin said, the guilt creeping into the tone of his voice.</p><p>I pressed my forehead against his and spoke again, “When we joined the Corps, I dedicated my heart to you Erwin. You’re my path to truth. You’re the path of my life. Your reasoning is sound, husband. Doubting yourself would only lead to your downfall.”</p><p>“I don’t care about my downfall if it would save your life.”</p><p>“But you care about the Corps.”</p><p>“Fuck the Corps, Suzu.” And then he kissed me wildly, all teeth mashing and roaming hands. His touch made me whimper and his responding growl drove me crazy all over again. I didn’t want to say goodbye tonight.</p><p>But I had to.</p><p>“I trust we will resume this when you come home to me,” I whispered against my husband’s lips when we finally calmed down.</p><p>“I’m all yours,” Erwin promised. He escorted me out to the main entrance where Levi was waiting with our horses. Erwin bid me goodbye with a parting kiss on my forehead and he gave Levi a speechless nod that still managed to speak volumes.</p><p>Levi and I made good time back to the old headquarters. Our ride back was completely silent. Levi only spoke up once more when we were returning our horses to the stables.</p><p>“I’ll tell Erwin to let me replace you on the support squad. We’ll switch positions after the city.”</p><p>“It won’t work. The performance aspect is essential, Levi. You know it. You’re stunning when you’re killing Titans, but everyone already knows you can do it Mr. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. I have to do it myself.”</p><p>Levi still had a hard time accepting it, but he didn’t protest any further. I managed to catch a few hours of sleep before starting the next day. As the day of the expedition edged closer, more and more tasks seemed to be piling up. Train the recruits, take stock of the supplies, assess our horses, maintenance on our carts and gear, pack the medicine bags, and the list goes on and on.</p><p>Ever since we discovered the key to Eren’s transformation, Levi knew exactly how to train the newest member of his squad. He pushed Eren hard, but the cadet was not deterred. If anything, it made Eren want to please his Captain even more.  </p><p>Hanji arrived a few days earlier than Erwin and the rest of the Corps. She had a lengthy list of experiments she wanted to conduct with Eren, but Levi was stingy with the Titan-shifter’s availability. When Hanji finally managed to get Levi to agree to a schedule, she roped me in to help out.</p><p>“Eren’s quite attached to you, isn’t he?” Hanji asked and I nodded warily. Something about her question was making me nervous.</p><p>“Yes, yes! He spends all his time with Squad Levi but he tries to catch up with you every once in a while, always offering to lift things for you.” Hanji was right. Eren tended to visit me in my office to ask if there was anything he could assist me with. I figured he was feeling tired of being on constant guard around Squad Levi. My own squad was better at hiding their feelings towards Eren. They even went out of their way to make up tasks for him so Eren could have an excuse to spend an hour or two with us. More than once, Levi or one of his squad members had to physically pry Eren away from my office.</p><p>“Just like everyone in the Survey Corps, he’s fallen completely in love with you. Truly the Corps’ Princess!” Hanji exclaimed gleefully and it did nothing to soothe my nerves.</p><p>“Why do you need me to be there for your experiment, Hanji?” I asked. Humoring her would be the easiest way to figure out what she wanted.</p><p>We were only a few meters away from the clearing where Eren and Squad Levi were waiting for us. Even from this distance, I could see Levi’s impatient expression. Hanji’s time with Eren today must have been hard-won. Maybe Hanji threatened Levi with her dirty laundry.</p><p>“I want to see how his emotions affect his speed of transformation. The first time he transformed after his trial, Eren was trying to stop you from falling. He was concerned about your well-being. So far, Levi’s just been testing his reaction time and acting out scenarios that could happen in the expedition. I need your help to try something new.”</p><p>“And what would I need to do?”</p><p>“Oh, I am so glad you asked!”</p><p>Next thing I know, Hanji has me strapping on her ODM gear on myself so I could get to the top of the tallest tree near the clearing. Hanji still hadn’t talked to Eren and Squad Levi. I could already see Levi trudging his way here, an irritated look on his face.</p><p>It was a little difficult to use Hanji’s gear and I was dressed in civilian attire today, but I finally managed to leap up to the top of the tree.</p><p>Once I was perched precariously on the top branch, Hanji called out to me “Alright, just like that! Now throw my gear down, I’ll catch it don’t worry!”</p><p>Hanji’s instructions confused me. Was she going to get up here with me? Would we even fit? Nevertheless, I threw down Hanji’s gear and she and Moblit scrambled to catch it.</p><p>“Okay, Suzu! When I say go, you jump and Eren will catch you! Hopefully, he transforms soon enough.”</p><p>“<em>What?</em>”</p><p>“No worries. I’m strapping on my gear, so I’ll catch you in case he doesn’t make it. I’m going to go get his attention, wait for my signal!”</p><p>“Wait, Hanji─”</p><p>“Captain Hanji!!!”</p><p>Moblit’s and my protests went ignored by the Survey Corps’ resident scientists. There was a skip in her step as she met Levi in the middle, talking his ear of about one thing or another. I was certain she was <em>not</em> properly orienting him on the experiment she was planning. The branch felt like it was shaking, but a few seconds later I realized it was <em>me</em> causing it to move.</p><p>“Er, Moblit. I think you’ll have to help me─”</p><p>
  <em>Boom!</em>
</p><p>“<em>Eek!</em>”</p><p>I jumped when a smoke signal was fired, causing me to flail my arms out. The imbalance caused me to lose my footing on the branch. Just like Hanji wanted, I was falling off the tree and would go splat on the ground in a matter of seconds.</p><p>There was a familiar flash of lightning and Eren, in his Titan form, caught me in mid-scream. I was still screaming, Hanji was whooping for joy, Moblit was wailing, and Levi was berating Hanji non-stop.</p><p>Eren’s Titan hand was wrapped around my body and this time flesh covered bone. I was extremely warm in his hold, but it wasn’t close to a burning sensation. Eren brought me up to eye-level and I couldn’t help but stare at him with wide eyes.</p><p>Up close like this, I finally took the time to examine Eren’s Titan features. He had a lipless mouth that exposed his rows of teeth. The ears on his Titan were pointy, very unlike a human’s. Other than that, his face was very human-like. Eren’s eyes were the same in Titan form.</p><p>Even though I was shaking from head to toe, I couldn’t deny that Eren was amazing in his Titan form.</p><p>“Oi, Eren,” Levi called out as he maneuvered to his charge’s Titan shoulder.</p><p>“Put Suzuru down or the Commander is going to slice you from the ass up. And after that, he’s going to do the same to Shitty Glasses for conducting this stupid experiment.”</p><p>Hanji seemed overjoyed rather than disturbed when Eren set me down. She joined Levi up on Eren’s shoulder to watch him cut Eren’s nape open.</p><p>“Captain Suzu, are you okay?” Petra cried, running up to me.</p><p>“Um…a little shaken, but I’m alright. Eren didn’t hurt me at all.”</p><p>“What was Captain Hanji thinking?!” Gunther exclaimed.</p><p>Levi ordered his Squad to escort me back to headquarters. Auruo told an embellished version of events to anyone who would listen, dramatically re-enacting how he saved me from Eren’s vicious grip. Auruo was sure the Commander would give him a promotion after today.</p><p>Despite the fear I felt earlier, I was happy to have experienced it. Hanji’s antics were so typical of her that I couldn’t even find the will to be angry. But after that experiment, following Levi’s report to Erwin – I was not allowed to be included in any Eren-experiments without explicit approval from the Commander.  </p><p>My days were filled even though I was banned from joining Hanji’s experiments. I got to know the new recruits more as I oversaw their training. Even though Connie and Sasha were a humorous duo, they were excellent soldiers and fighters. It was entertaining to watch them use out-of-the-box tactics when they were tasked with sparring. If there was a wager with meat at stake, Sasha became a fighting machine. I tried to set-aside meat jerky portions to give as snacks every few days and the way she thanked me after – eyes glistening with tears – always brought a smile to my face.</p><p>Jean and Connie were always bickering and insulting each other. Ymir had told me in an off-handed comment that it was normal for them, nothing to worry over. With the absence of Eren who usually went head to head with Jean, Connie became the other boy’s new rival. Ymir mostly kept next to Krista’s side.</p><p>“You’re saying Krista is a Lord Reiss’ bastard?” I said incredulously one night when Jenny returned to me with her findings on Krista Lenz.</p><p>“The Military Police try to keep tabs on her. I’m still looking into the <em>why</em>,” Jenny explained. The revelation made me more caring towards the girl, but she was already so likable amongst her peers. Whenever we were seen together, the other Scouts would tease us by saying our combined angelic light was too much to handle. Even though we were completely opposite in features, others could see many similarities between us.</p><p>Even Reiner had gotten comfortable enough to joke with me – saying he had a hard time choosing if he would rather marry me or Krista. Bertholdt rolled his eyes and said I was already married and Ymir would kill Reiner if he laid a hand on Krista. It seemed I was right to hold back on voicing out my suspicions of the two boys.</p><p>During Mikasa’s own free time, she would visit me in my office and we would share a cup of tea. Her own mother had passed down many traditions, including the family brand. For Mikasa, the symbol had been branded on her wrist. In my case, my father branded all his children on their right shoulder. Perhaps we were more closely related than I first suspected.</p><p>I taught Mikasa about <em>Nihongo</em>, the language used by Orientals before humanity was forced into the Walls. Mikasa knew some words but didn’t know how to write. I taught Mikasa how to write her name. The time we spent together seemed to leave her on the verge of tears, and after every session, she asked if she could visit again during her next free moment. Later on, Mikasa would reveal that she hardly remembered her own mother and it made her feel guilty. Speaking with me and spending time with me made her feel closer to her mother.</p><p>In only a few days, the tight-knit group of new recruits found a special place in my heart. I found it so easy to love them, and in return, they opened up to me and respected me. Other veteran Scouts teased me, saying here I go again – babying the newest Scouts. It made me happy that everyone could interact with me with so much fondness and happiness.</p><p>“Still studying, Armin?” My question seemed to startle the blonde soldier out of his stupor. It was a Saturday – usually a break day from training and lessons. Still, Armin had his eyes trained on the notebook. It looked like his notes from orientations about the upcoming expedition.</p><p>“Captain Suzuru!”</p><p>Armin tended to exclaim my name every time we talked. It was endearing and it made me giggle.</p><p>“I’m sorry, did I interrupt?”</p><p>“Not at all!”</p><p>“How are you doing, Armin? Is there anything you need help with understanding?”</p><p>“No, it’s not that,” Armin said. “Officer Ness explained the Commander’s formation very well. I just think the plan is genius! It’s amazing how a change in formation can already save so many lives.”</p><p>“Well, that’s Commander Erwin for you. But most would call him a devil.”</p><p>“Hmm, I don’t think so. I think those who aren’t willing to sacrifice anything can’t change anything.”</p><p>Although I’ve always known Armin as sharp-minded and witty, I was not expecting that statement from him. He clearly has given the whole situation with Scouts and the Walls and the mystery surrounding Eren’s newfound abilities a lot of thought. His closeness to Eren and his mind were great assets to the Survey Corps. We were extremely lucky to have Armin Arlert as a Scout.</p><p>“Well said, Armin. I agree,” I said and that seemed to make him happy.</p><p>“Have you been sitting long? How about a walk with me around headquarters? It’s always good for me to exercise my leg, so why don’t you keep me company?”</p><p>“Of course, Captain!”</p><p>As we walked and talked, I found myself getting more astounded by Armin’s thinking. We didn’t discuss anything too deep or serious, but Armin always seemed to have something witty to say whether it be about the color of the sky or what he imagined lied beyond the Walls. He reminded me so much of Erwin.</p><p>“Oh, more Scouts?”</p><p>Speak of the devil. Erwin finally arrived with the rest of the Survey Corps now that it was the end of the week, as promised.</p><p>“Erwin!” I called out, beckoning Armin to follow me. He looked nervous but followed anyway.</p><p>Erwin smiled at me and I patiently waited for him to finish giving his Command Squad orders for the supplies he had brought. This was the last shipment we were receiving before the expedition. The other materials Erwin asked me to take care of were to be stored in our main HQ, away from prying eyes.</p><p>“Welcome back,” I said and giggled when Erwin took my hand to kiss it. <em>Welcome back to me</em>, I left unsaid. <em>I’m happy to be with you again</em>, was Erwin’s silent reply.</p><p>“Suzuru.” I always love the way he says my name. “Is everything well here?”</p><p>“Of course, Erwin. Everyone here is afraid of Levi’s iron fist and cleaning standards. There’s no room for mess-ups here under his watch.”</p><p>“And I’m certain everyone would rather not disappoint you. You’re always well-loved by the Scouts. Is it the same for our new recruits?” Erwins smoothly steered the conversation towards Armin.</p><p>“Commander Erwin!” Armin exclaimed and saluted, and I giggled again. He was just too cute!</p><p>“Arlert, isn’t it? The brains behind the operation at Trost?”</p><p>“Not at all!” Armin was blushing. “I just laid out the bare bones plan. Without Commander Pixis and Captain Suzu and her Squad, it wouldn’t have happened at all!”</p><p>“Give yourself some credit, Armin,” I said.</p><p>“Erwin, allow me to introduce you to Armin Arlert. He was the genius behind Trost and continues to show his intelligence here with us in the Survey Corps. He’s just like a mini you!”</p><p>Now that I had the both of them standing next to each other, I could really point out all the similarities. The blonde hair and the blue eyes shining with high intelligence that was far beyond their peers’. Armin could pass for a younger version of Erwin – more timid and unsure of himself. Erwin could be what Armin could become in a few years if he aspired for it.</p><p>“Is that so? Should I be worried that my wife would leave me for a younger man?”</p><p>The teenager sputtered and struggled to deny it. Erwin laughed heartily and I joined in his enjoyment, looping my arm around his. The other Scouts milling about smiled at their Commander’s antics. It was a rare treat for Erwin to put his good mood on display for all.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>With only two weeks left before the 57<sup>th</sup> Scouting Expedition, the old Scout Headquarters was abuzz with activity. Erwin’s arrival seemed to put everyone in the ultimate productive mode. Erwin had no problem handing out orders and delegating tasks. I did my best to make sure everyone still took the time to rest and catch a breath. I continued to get to know our newest recruits and made sure to soothe any pre-expedition nerves coming up the closer we get. Every last-minute thing had to be resolved. Since my squad wasn’t staying behind, there was even more to close to make sure the Survey Corps wouldn’t fall apart in our absence.</p><p>Formation plans were distributed to the Scouts at the last possible moment. My own squad was shocked to be positioned as the support squad. We were more than capable of preventing Titans from barging into the formation, but Squad Suzu has never been positioned as support squad. And everyone in the Corps knew why. Still, they took it in stride and prepared accordingly. It made me feel guilty to keep so much of our plans in the dark from them, but it was necessary. I trusted my squad with my life but that could easily be my downfall.</p><p>The night before the expedition, Erwin and I lied side by side and it reminded me of the night after Eren’s trial. It seemed Erwin wanted to spend the whole night apologizing to me physically. I would be so embarrassed if the cries and whimpers he pulled out of me could be heard beyond our shared room.</p><p>When Erwin finally calmed down and allowed me to come down from a high, we talked to each other quietly – our fingers interlaced together between us.</p><p>“Would you despise me if I asked you to stay behind tomorrow?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t despise you for asking, husband. But if you forced me to obey, then we might have a problem.”</p><p>Erwin sighed. He was not going to ask me to stay behind.</p><p>“You have to survive, Suzuru. I can’t lose you now that we’re so close to the truth.”</p><p>“The same goes for you,” I said, reaching out to cup his cheek. “We have to make it to the basement <em>together</em>, promise me, Erwin.”</p><p>And despite the fact that Scouts should <em>never</em> make promises, Erwin did so anyway. He would do anything for me. And I would do anything for him.</p><p>On the morning of the expedition, the general feeling was tense. Even if I gave out as many smiles as I could muster, it was difficult to comfort people when I had to be preparing myself to face Titans.</p><p>Even though my squad seldom headed out on expeditions as a complete unit, their preparations were perfect. All supplies were complete, the horses readied, and the formation drilled into their minds. We would start off as a support squad until we made it out of the settlement just beyond the gates. Then we would transition into a relay squad, and call out any abnormalities. If they found our role in this expedition strange, they didn’t say a word about it.</p><p>All the seasoned Scouts knew something was missing from Erwin’s orders. The expedition was meant to be a simple supply run and a test for Eren’s abilities. But there was so much in that alone that was unknown. People always died in expeditions, no matter the level of preparation. Scouts had to be prepared to die for the truth, even if they didn’t know what the complete truth was.</p><p>We were lucky that every Scout was devoted to the Commander and completely trusted in him.</p><p>The tense feeling remained as the Scouts left headquarters and gathered at the eastern gate of Wall Rose. We waited as the Garrison soldiers lured the lingering Titans away from the gate.</p><p>Erwin rode up front with Hanji and Mike flanking him. The other Scout veterans from before the fall of Wall Maria made up the rest of the Command Squad. Levi’s squad and Eren were positioned far behind the Command Squad, unbeknownst to most of the Scouts.</p><p>My squad, combined with a few other Scouts recommended by Mike, made up the outer ring that would serve as the Support Squad. We were to drive off any Titans that got too close to the formation. Everyone would be watching Squad Suzu, even the more experienced Scouts who had yet to see us together in an expedition.</p><p>The gate was rolled up, and Erwin bellowed. It must have been heard all the way to the rear of the formation.</p><p>“<em>Charge!</em>”</p><p>I urged my horse forward and set off at a run. Exiting the confines of Wall Rose stirred mixed feelings within me. I was ecstatic to be out of the Walls once more, but Wall Maria was now Titan territory. This was where so many of my Scouts would die.</p><p>“A 10-meter Titan ahead, approaching from the left!” Hanji called out.</p><p>“Karl, Peter, go,” I ordered and my two squad members immediately shot up from their horses and flew towards the Titan. Karl and Peter were positioned to my left and Lili and Jenny were at my right.</p><p>The Russo brothers were a perfect tandem. Karl flew directly into the Titan’s face, commanding its attention while Peter flew at it from behind. Karl was beckoning the Titan forward so that Peter would have enough room to charge at its nape. Their tactics allowed the 10-meter to get a little too close for my liking, but Peter took it down in one sweep after Karl had plunged his blade into its eye.</p><p>I sent Lili and Jenny out shortly after to take on the two Titans appearing from the right. Lili expertly sliced through the nape of the 6-meter Titan while Jenny flew around the 3-meter, allowing it to attempt to swat at her. Lili used Jenny as bait and took down the little 3-meter with ease.</p><p>The support squad was spread out fighting the Titans that appeared when an 8-meter Titan was appearing in the distance. At this point, Karl and Peter were too far back dealing with two 8-meters that had been obscured by abandoned buildings. Lili and Jenny were positioned too far out right to get in position in time.</p><p>Meaning it was my kill.</p><p>I sprang up from my horse and ran across the closest roof to my left. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the other Scouts watching me with wide eyes. They probably thought I could no longer run. But they weren’t there to see me at Trost. I could still be an effective Titan killer.</p><p>I attached my cable to an abandoned bell tower just in time to pull myself out of the waiting grasp of the 8-meter. It had its mouth wide open, its lidless eyes following my every move. I flipped away from its next swat at me as it ambled closer to the bell tower. When the Titan noticed a larger group of people speeding through on their horses, it was momentarily distracted.</p><p>But there was no way I was allowing it to break into the formation.</p><p>I shot my cable directly at its, effectively recapturing the 8-meter’s attention. Reminiscent of Karl’s move from earlier, I plunged one of my blades into its eyes after landing on the Titan’s nose. The Titan was wailing, steam pouring out of its eye sockets and it was frozen in place. It was all too easy from there.</p><p>I could see the end of the settlement when I returned to my horse. One of the Command Squad had positioned themselves closer to me and nodded when I gave them a smile. He rode away, surely to report to the Commander that his wife made it back just fine.</p><p>“Good to see you still have it in you, Princess!” Officer Ness called out from behind me. This was likely the first time he had seen me take down a Titan, having only joined the Scouts two years ago.</p><p>“Makes you wonder why the Commander keeps me locked away every expedition!”</p><p>“If I had a wife like you, I’d be just as protective, Captain Suzu!”</p><p>I laughed. “Take care of yourself out there, Ness.”</p><p>“Same to you, Captain!”</p><p>The formation finally broke out of the city.</p><p>“Assume Long-Range Scouting Formation!” Erwin commanded, and the order was relayed down to the rest of the formation.</p><p>Erwin looked back at me, knowing this was the last time he could be sure of my position in my formation. It was time for me to scout out the traitor. If we did everything right, they wouldn’t miss this chance to take Eren.</p><p>I smile at Erwin and nodded to assure him. <em>Stay alive</em> was left unspoken.</p><p><em>You too</em>, he left unsaid.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Another chapter to set the stage for the Expedition! Also necessary for establishing Suzu's relationship with the new recruits and rest of Corps. She takes care of them and rest of the Corps adores her haha. For once, I finished this chapter before midnight!!! Wow who is she?? I hope you're excited as I am to get into the 57th Expedition. It's gonna be whack! Maybe? Who knows! Wahoooo see you next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. 4 - The 57th Expedition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I told my squad that the Commander was trying out a new strategy in this expedition. Erwin’s formation was crafted perfectly to avoid normal Titans. But his formation was not robust enough to withstand an Abnormal. With the introduction of Eren, we could no longer discount the risk an Abnormal breaking into the formation poses. Our squad was included in this expedition to test the feasibility of having a relay squad dedicated to passing information about Abnormals. This relay squad would have to be spread out in the formation. If an Abnormal defeated the Scouts positioned at the frontlines, then the Abnormal relay squad would have to warn a designated veteran of the situation. For the 57<sup>th</sup> Expedition, Captain Mike was the designated veteran for taking down Abnormals, supported by his squad.</p><p>The lie created by Erwin was perfectly believable. My squad easily accepted this role and immediately spread out, following Erwin’s orders. I kept my eyes trained on them until they all were out of my sight’s reach. Despite being handpicked by the Commander himself, the fact was all four of them joined the Survey Corps after Wall Maria fell. That was enough to make them suspects.</p><p>I rode alone, which felt strange. The flat fields in abandoned Wall Maria were overgrown and quiet. In other expeditions, I had at least one other person riding beside me. Before Erwin became Commander, all Scouts would ride together as one unit. And once the formation was introduced, I was always in the company of one of my squad members during the seldom occasions I joined an expedition.</p><p>20 minutes in and no Titans to be spotted. I didn’t expect any different. I was deep in the middle of the formation. If I rode back in the opposite direction, I would find the supply carts and further back would be Squad Levi.</p><p>I was not afraid of facing a Titan. No, I feared the inevitable fight that loomed. Erwin was convinced the traitor would make their move during the expedition. He carefully chose the information we were sharing with our soldiers, making it so that there were only so many ways for the traitor to even make it close to Eren. Erwin dangled information regarding Eren like a piece of meat in front of Sasha.</p><p>Erwin gambled that the traitor would take the bait.</p><p>How many of my Scouts would have to die to realize Erwin’s goal? For the first time, our expedition would be facing an intelligent enemy. No matter how many back-up plans we came up with, there was no way to save everyone’s lives. It would be a bloodbath.</p><p>And yet Erwin ordered his Scouts to charge. We all followed without a second thought.</p><p>Who would we be facing today? If the one called the Colossal Titan appeared, it would take hundreds of Levi’s to take it down. How would we fight against something so large? It made you wonder why it stopped at Wall Maria and in Trost. The Armored Titan would be an easier target, but it would put up more of a fight. Its thick skin would make it impossible to get to its nape. Erwin prepared cannons and blades for pinning, but would it be enough? How do you plan to face an enemy you knew nothing about?</p><p>“Captain Suzu!” Lili called out, coming up from the right-wing. She was accompanied by Jenny and their spare horses. I was relieved. I had full trust in their abilities to take down Titans, but scouting expeditions could spell death for even the most veteran soldier. Every expedition, we left knowing that it was possible we wouldn’t be returning home.</p><p>Behind my two squad members, plumes of black smoke shot into the sky, one after the other. Was this the traitor we have been waiting for?  </p><p>“Lili, Jenny, report,” I ordered, once the pair were close enough to hear. The three of us continued to push our horses forward.</p><p>“An Abnormal, Captain! I saw it from a distance before Lili found me. A large Titan, at least 14-meters. It’s skinless, like the Colossal Titan, and has a female body,” Jenny started.</p><p>“It led an entire horde of Titans. They took out the entire first-line of the right-wing,” Lili reported gravely.</p><p><em>No. So many lives lost already. </em>My squad members did not miss the frown on my lips, but they continued to report.</p><p>“I wanted to fight, but I remembered our role for this mission. If I fell, the report would not get to Captain Mike in time.”</p><p>“Where is it now?”</p><p>“Continuing to break into the formation from the right. It’s Abnormal because it isn’t even stopping to eat anyone. It’s just killing.”</p><p>Even without knowing what we were truly searching for, Lili confirmed it. We got our traitor. It was not the Colossal Titan or the Armored Titan. A new player in this gamble. Our enemy’s number was at least three people if we assumed each person could only shift into one Titan form.</p><p>Erwin had to be informed so he could begin the next phase of his plan.</p><p>“Lili, ride forward and inform Captain Mike and the Command Squad. Then follow the Commander’s orders. Jenny, ride back and inform Squad Levi, then join back with Lili. I will continue riding here, in case the Russo brothers have a report.”</p><p>“Roger that, Captain! Please try not to get abducted out here!”</p><p>Karl and Peter were positioned on the left-wing, and they gave me a good cover to send my squad members off. Lili and Jenny saluted to acknowledge my orders and carried them out immediately. Once I was out of their sights, I changed course and rode into the right-wing. Another lie I had to tell my squad today.</p><p>I pushed my horse fast and even crossed paths with Scouts who were surprised to see me. I ignored their questions and kept going. I had to find the Abnormal Female Titan.</p><p>I followed the black smoke.</p><p>The next Scouts I spotted were Ness and Cis. Even from a distance, I could tell who they were because of Ness’s white bandana. I was still several meters behind them, too far for them to hear me.</p><p>The two veterans seemed to be regrouping after taking down a Titan that was already dissolving away a few feet away from them. They quickly took note of another danger coming up from behind us.</p><p>Jenny’s description of the Female Titan was correct but still felt severely lacking now that I was able to look at it with my own eyes. It was the same height as Eren’s Titan form and was completely covered in muscle. It had even proportions and ran <em>fast</em>. Too fast. The Female Titan had a head of shaggy blonde hair and as it came closer, I could see it had frosty blue eyes.</p><p>The way it ran made it different from all the other Titans I’ve seen before. The Female Titan ran with a purpose, its arms pumping at its sides like a human running. It lacked the silly quirks of other Titans and it was making a beeline straight for us.</p><p>She was intelligent. She was a Titan-shifter and could very well be the traitor we were looking for.</p><p>I pulled on the reins of my horse and charged forward.</p><p>“Ness, Cis – do not engage! Forward! Ride forward!” I screamed from the bottom of my lungs, but I was still too far for them to hear me properly. I urged my horse to run faster, but I was already pushing its limits. If this horse fell, I would be stranded in the middle of an open field. It would be an open invitation for Titans to have a bite.  </p><p>Cis flew towards the Female Titan’s nape, ready to strike it down. The Titan’s hand rose, ready to pluck Cis out from the air.</p><p>“Ness, Cis – <em>retreat!</em>” I screeched.</p><p>Goddesses be good ─ this time they heard me. Ness looked back at me with shock, his fingers still pressed on the ODM trigger. Cis spun out of reach from the Titan’s grasp but it didn’t stop her from slapping him down from the air. </p><p>Ness’s quick-thinking and talent in horse riding saved Cis from landing splat on the ground. The Female Titan ignored them and continued charging down her path.</p><p>I finally caught up with the two soldiers. Cis was bleeding profusely from the head where he was hit by the Female Titan. Ness had to load the other Scout onto his own horse to be able to support him.</p><p>I hopped down from my horse and opened my medicine pack. I could provide first aid with the ointment and bandages I had on-hand. I instructed Ness to assist me where I needed, but the Officer seemed to be in shock. He had just watched his comrade get slapped out of the air by an Abnormal Titan and a commanding officer ordered him not to pursue it.</p><p>“Bring Cis to the supply carts, they can do more for him there,” I said when I finished all that I could for the soldier. Cis had a 50-50 chance of living. If he could get treated by our field doctors, then his chances of survival would increase.</p><p>“The Titan didn’t even want to eat us…” Ness murmured.</p><p>“Ness!” I exclaimed and his eyes snapped to face mine. He looked as if he was noticing me for the first time.</p><p>“Captain Suzu…”</p><p>“Are you capable of bringing Cis to the supply carts? If you don’t get him there, he will die,” I tried to speak to him as clearly as possible.</p><p>Ness looked down at Cis who he had been holding this entire time. He looked at his fellow soldier as if not understanding why he was in his arms.</p><p>“That Abnormal…it’s going to find Arlert…”</p><p>I had to ignore the pang of fear that struck me from within. Armin was smart. He had to survive.</p><p>“Answer my question, Ness! Cis’ life is in your hands. Can you bring him to the supply carts?”</p><p>“Yes,” Ness's response came out as a whisper.</p><p>“Then go!” I exclaimed and the Scout was spurred into action, his mind finally clearing. He rode off without another word, expertly balancing Cis in front of him as he rode hard for the supply carts. I could only pray that he could make it there in time.  </p><p>I heaved myself back on my horse and grimaced over the pain in my left leg. Riding always made it ache. If it had been a normal expedition, I would have been riding in a cart handled by my squad in the most secure position of the formation. Today, everything was different. I had to ignore my own difficulties and find that Titan-shifter.</p><p>“<em>Hya-a!</em>” I cried and my horse charged forward, with me directing it towards the path the Female Titan took. Ness had said it was going to find Armin.</p><p>I imagined finding a bloodied form on the ground, only recognizable by yellow hair. Little Armin was a true genius, but in a physical fight against a Titan-shifter, he would not win so easily.</p><p>I had to find him.</p><p>Yellow smoke signals shot from all around me and I halted my horse to a stop. From every direction, smoke was rising. Yellow meant a severe issue that ruined the entire formation. Right now, the entire right-wing was a blanket of yellow smoke. But which one was the signal for the Female Titan?</p><p>A patch of trees to my right rustled too loudly and there was no breeze that could have caused it.</p><p>First, the new recruit called Krista Lenz burst through the foliage followed by a ravenous 7-meter Titan. It wasn’t an Abnormal nor the Titan-shifter I was desperately searching for, but I would be damned if I let it get to a Scout.</p><p>The 7-meter waddled towards Krista quickly and its movements were consistent. I steered my horse to ride straight for Krista and cried out my plan to her.</p><p>“We go for the ankles first! I’ll go this way, and you go the other!” I yelled, showing her where I was planning to move by waving my arms.</p><p>Krista’s expression was fearful, but once she understood my words, she looked determined. If I remembered right, she was ranked Top 10 in her Cadet Corps. If she pulled off this maneuver, she could win her first assist.</p><p>“Now!”</p><p>I latched my cables onto the 7-meter’s leg and swung around to slice through its right ankle. A beat later, Krista flew in between its knees and swooped down to slice through the left ankle. The Titan crashed down with a groan, smoke rising from the cuts at its feet. I ran across the length of the Titan and delivered a clean swipe on its nape, killing it immediately.</p><p>“Thank you, Captain!” Krista wailed, tears bursting at the corner of her eyes.</p><p>“Are you hurt?”</p><p>Krista shook her head and assured me she was physically alright. During our Titan takedown, our horses and the extra Krista had riding with her had managed to avoid getting crushed. Scouts’ horses were specially trained for these kinds of situations. They had sharp self-preservation skills but always came running when called by their rider.</p><p>“That’s your first assist, Krista. Do you think the other recruits in your batch can say they’ve assisted in a Titan kill too?”</p><p>Her giggle made me smile in relief. The girl would be fine.</p><p>“Maybe Mikasa, Captain. She was Top 1 in training,” she said. I agreed with her. Mikasa’s strength and single-minded drive to protect Eren reminded me of Levi. I should ask Jenny if there was any interesting history about the Ackerman clan.</p><p>“But, Captain! You were amazing! The moment you saw me – you already had a plan to take down the Titan. You seemed so fearless.”</p><p>“I’m always afraid, Krista,” I said and gestured for her to get back up on her horse while I did the same. She looked a little concerned when I grunted over the pain on my left leg, but I waved it off. “I’m just experienced. I still make sure I’m careful, the Commander would have never allowed me on an expedition otherwise.”</p><p>“Sometimes it’s hard to believe you and the Commander are really married,” Krista giggled again. “You’re both so different! It’s so easy to talk to you, Captain. It’s like you’re an older sister to all of us. But the Commander can scare me without even saying a word!”</p><p>“The Commander cares very deeply for the Corps. Many times, he’s had to make very tough choices.”</p><p>It was dangerous to dwell here any longer. Just as I was about to order Krista back into formation, another smoke signal shot out into the air. This time, it was purple.</p><p>“Purple…that means someone is in dire need of assistance,” Krista gasped. I didn’t say it, but it usually meant someone was getting eaten by a Titan.</p><p>“There were many black signals earlier…and then the yellow ones,” Krista was beginning to sound afraid again. “Could the Abnormal Titan be there now?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “But we must go to help. It’s our duty.”</p><p>There was the determined look on her face again. Krista was able to steel herself so easily. I suddenly remembered Jenny’s reports about the girl. Her name probably wasn’t even Krista and she was Lord Reiss’s bastard daughter. What could she have faced in her young life?</p><p>“I’m ready, Captain,” she said confidently. Despite whatever hardships she had to endure, she was a strong girl. She would be an excellent Scout.</p><p>Before I could order our horses forward, another one came trotting our way, coming from the direction where we had seen the purple smoke signal.</p><p>Krista gasped “That’s Jean’s horse! It could be Jean in trouble!”</p><p>“Get his horse, and let’s go,” I ordered and rode off, certain she would be riding right behind me.</p><p>“Krista!” I called to her as we rode out. You could say it was hardly the time to bring up my next question in the middle of an expedition, but I needed to know. Was Krista’s secret equivalent to her being a traitor? Was she hiding her true identity to protect herself or to harm humanity?</p><p>“Yes, Captain!”</p><p>“What’s your true name?”</p><p>My question shocked her but luckily, she didn’t stop her horses from following me.</p><p>When she didn’t answer, I continued – making use of Erwin’s cryptic question.</p><p>“Krista, who do you think the real enemy is?”</p><p>“Captain, I’ll swear to tell you everything if I live through this expedition if you promise you won’t share it!” Krista cried. She did not look like a cornered animal. Krista just looked incredibly sad. I immediately regretted interrogating her. This was her first expedition. It would not help anyone at all to have her distracted with the fact that her secret was already out.</p><p>But I had to keep everyone safe, even if that meant keeping them safe from Krista who has been nothing but an angel since joining the Survey Corps.</p><p>“I look forward to it,” I said. “And Krista?”</p><p>“Captain?”</p><p>“You will live through this expedition. I swear it.”</p><p>Once more, I made a promise I had no way of being sure I could keep. But it was worth it to see the shining and touched look on her face. I needed Krista to trust me, even if I had found out her secret. She needed to know that I would keep her safe if she could trust us in return. That’s the way it worked in the Corps. We risked our lives in every expedition and depended on our comrades to have our backs when fighting. With the possibility of traitors in our midst, trust was even more important than it ever had been before.</p><p>We only needed to ride for a few more minutes to find the ones who shot the purple smoke signal. Luckily, there were no Titans around and the soldiers waiting for us still seemed whole.</p><p>Krista shot forward on her horse upon seeing that it was her training batchmates who had called for aid. “Guys! Are you okay?”</p><p>Armin, Jean, and Reiner gaped at our arrival. I scanned them quickly and was relieved to find them all fine. Armin had a bandage wrapped around his head, but if he was standing and talking, then he would be fine until we got to the supply carts.</p><p>“Yes, more or less,” Armin confirmed.</p><p>“The Captain and I were just nearby. We saw your smoke signal and Jean’s horse found us right after,” Krista explained.</p><p>“You have a way with horses. Not to mention, a remarkable sense of virtue,” Reiner complimented her. Was he flirting with her in the middle of an expedition?</p><p>“Thank you for coming to our aid, Captain Suzu and Krista,” thanked Jean.</p><p>“It’s good to see you’re okay. I’m always concerned about our greenies during expeditions,” I told them with a smile.  </p><p>“I’m very glad that the worst didn’t happen to you guys,” Krista added, tearing up again.</p><p>I chuckled at the shocked expressions on the boys’ faces. Krista looked confused, but I didn’t want to have to explain to her that they were astounded by her beauty. Despite being a bastard, she was still a Noble’s daughter. She had natural grace and sparkling eyes that attracted people to her.</p><p>Yes, she would make an excellent Scout indeed.</p><p>“Ready on your horses, Scouts. We must return to formation. You follow my orders now,” I said and the boys acknowledged my order with a salute.</p><p>“Captain Suzu, what are you doing here so far in the right? The plans said your position was in the center,” asked Jean. Then he grumbled something about how the plans also faked Eren’s position. I made sure to keep my face neutral. They would not question me about Eren directly. I was still a commanding officer.</p><p>“Krista had a Titan on her tail. I assisted her,” I said.</p><p>“Captain Suzu saved my life!” Krista gushed, retelling the story of her first assist as we rode back into formation. Reiner and Jean showered her with compliments, but Armin hung back to ride alongside me.</p><p>“Armin, how is your head?”</p><p>“I’m fine, Captain. I can keep going.”</p><p>“Did you encounter a Titan?” I asked, remembering how Ness had said that Armin was directly in the female Titan’s path.</p><p>Armin’s face turned somber and he responded to me a softer tone, “That’s what I wanted to speak with you about. I encountered the Titan that Jean said wiped out the right wing. At first, I thought it was an Abnormal. But I realized it was searching for something. When I had my hood up, she took it down so she could look at my face. And she didn’t try to eat the soldiers that fought it, she just kept trying to kill us. It wasn’t an Abnormal Titan at all. I’d say it was a Titan-shifter like Eren.”</p><p>Armin’s mind never failed to astound me. Despite being kept in the dark, he figured out the suspicions Erwin gambled everything on. There was more he seemed he wanted to say, but new plumes of smoke rose in the sky. This time they were green, meaning it was coming from the Command Squad. From Erwin.</p><p>“We’re not being ordered to retreat?” Jean cried in disbelief. I pushed my horse forward so that I was in front of the recruits.</p><p>“We follow the Commander’s signal. Let’s go,” I said, leaving no room for protests.</p><p>Finally, the next phase of Erwin’s plan was proceeding. His signals directed the formation towards the Forest of Giant Trees. If all went to plan, then the Female Titan would follow us there.</p><p>I heard the questions coming from the recruits, but I didn’t deign any of them with an answer. They wondered if Erwin was aware of the Abnormal Titan threat. They questioned why we were deviating from the plan of resupplying the base and visiting an old village. Nowhere in the briefing did it say that we would be heading into a forest. Erwin’s long-distance formation would be useless in that place.</p><p>I simply said we needed to follow the Commander’s orders. We were Scouts and we obeyed our Commander. I told Jean to fire the green signal.</p><p>I lied to my Scouts multiple times today, but it was necessary. Even one of these greenies could be a traitor. Even Armin, who had defended Eren so fervently since Trost. If I revealed what awaited the Female Titan in the forest and at least one of them turned out to be the traitor, then we would lose our advantage. We were ahead because of our ability to collect and keep secrets.</p><p>We joined up with another squad made up of other fresh recruits led by Officer Buchanan. He was a veteran Scout from before the fall of Wall Maria and was privy to Erwin’s plan. His eyes met mine and I nodded once. We were to continue to follow Erwin’s orders. Our group skirted around the forest while the center squads rode through it.</p><p>“Are we in some kind of tourist spot?” Jean scoffed. “Is the Commander going to throw us a welcome party?”</p><p>“The Commander doesn’t enjoy parties too much, Jean,” I said and that shut him up. It was the first question I have answered in a while.</p><p>“Captain Suzu, we are in position.” Officer Buchanan informed me. I nodded and ordered the group to halt. I instructed the soldiers to tie our horses so they didn’t run off and then to position ourselves in the branches of the giant trees with our blades at the ready. All the Scouts were wary and suspicious, but they followed my strange instructions.</p><p>We needed to make sure no Titans would get into the forest. We had to give the Command Squad a controlled environment with no wild cards.</p><p>Jean was about to question me again, but Officer Buchanan ordered him not to ask any questions.</p><p>More Scouts joined us in our location, including Lili and Jenny. I was relieved to see them well and alive and hoped that Peter and Karl were doing fine in the Left Wing.</p><p>“What were the Commander’s orders?” I asked Lili.</p><p>“After I relayed my message, he said to come back and find you, Captain. Our role is always to protect you. But you weren’t where you said you would be,” Lili said, eyeing me suspiciously.</p><p>“A Titan was charging for Lenz. Then the other recruits fired an assist signal. What kind of Survey Corps Captain would I be if I didn’t respond?” I left Lili and Jenny to their own thoughts and hopped on to another branch. I didn’t know how long I could keep lying to them before they caught on to my lies. My squad would understand the secrecy, but it would still hurt their feelings to not be included from the start and to be considered suspects at all. I knew in my heart that no one in my squad was a traitor. But my emotions have led me astray multiple times in the past. What if I was wrong once more?</p><p>“A 5-meter approaching!” one of Buchanan’s men called out.</p><p>“Lili, take it down,” I called out to my squad member and she single-handedly took down the Titan. The recruits with us on the trees gasped at her display of strength, but my attention was focused on the next Titans coming our way. There were too many of us gathered here. They were attracted to our scent and came running.</p><p>The Female Titan brought with her a horde of Titans that decimated the frontline of the right-wing. Reports said that the Titans she brought with her were extremely fast and ate the soldiers with revelry. Even if these Titans were the same silly ones we recognized and stopped at the foot of the trees we perched on, the Female Titan could blindside us. For all we knew, she had the ability to call the Titans to the inside of the forest. If they all followed her call with great speed, then we couldn’t hope to take them all down.</p><p>We couldn’t allow the Titans to gather here.</p><p>“Buchanan, we take down any Titan that approaches,” I ordered, and the man looked stricken with fear. We could completely avoid deaths if we just remained in the trees. Going down to kill them was risky. I needed him to understand that we still had to do it.</p><p>“Order a messenger to communicate the same to the left-wing. We take down any Titan that approaches the forest. Don’t let them live.”</p><p>“Yes, Captain!” Buchanan obeyed my orders and organized the soldiers to kill the Titans that approached. Any deaths that happened now would be on me. I accepted that. It would make Erwin’s plan succeed.</p><p>“Captain Suzuru,” Armin said when he joined me on my branch. Captain Buchanan started ordering the more veteran Scouts to take down the Titans. I remembered that Armin wasn’t finished speaking with me earlier. I wondered what else he had figured out since.</p><p>“Armin, is everything alright?”</p><p>“I need to tell you something, Captain,” he whispered. He requested we discuss further back into the forest and on a higher branch,  </p><p>Armin revealed he suspected that the Titan-shifter behind the Female Titan was a classmate of theirs: Annie Leonhart. She had joined the Military Police. There were two instances that led him to this conclusion.  The first was the killing of Hanji’s beloved Titans, Sawney and Bean. All the cadets were ordered to present their gear to prove that they were not the killer. Armin thought Annie’s ODM looked odd. He thought it looked like the ODM of another classmate of theirs – Marco Bott who had died in the Battle of Trost.</p><p>The second instance happened during today’s expedition. When Armin first encountered the Female Titan, she had lifted his hood off his head to stare at him. When he faced her, he was struck with the realization that the Titan looked familiar.</p><p>Eren’s Titan had the same black hair and jewel green eyes as in his regular, human self. It wasn’t a stretch to apply the same thinking for the Female Titan. She had blonde hair and ice blue eyes. Armin claimed that Annie Leonhart had the same coloring, and she was one of the best fighters in their Training Corps. Armin believed it was within her ability to kill all the Scouts the Female Titan killed today.  </p><p>To add, the Female Titan could only be searching for Eren. Erwin had left breadcrumbs for her to follow for precisely that reason. The traitor had to know what Eren actually looked like to be able to find him. Ever since the Battle of Trost, Eren was kept hidden away in the old Scouting headquarters. Only Scouts or Eren’s training classmates would be able to recognize him easily and pick him out from a group of soldiers. If she was searching under the hoods of every soldier she killed, then the Female Titan already knew what Eren looked like. It was either that or another traitor from within the Corps assisted her.</p><p>It could even be both.</p><p>Armin had no concrete proof. How could he – short of actually slicing through the Female Titan’s nape and discovering who was in there? But his reasoning was sound. I would bet on Armin’s guess just as confidently as I would on any guess made by Erwin.</p><p>“This forest is part of the Commander’s plan to reveal the person behind the Female Titan,” Armin speculated, but I didn’t answer him to confirm it.  </p><p>He continued anyway “Commander Erwin must have planned every part of this Expedition. He knew that it was a possibility that so many Scouts would die today. He made the choice to sacrifice their lives to find out who could be behind the Female Titan. Because they could be the same person who’s behind the attack in Wall Maria and in Trost. He chose the fate of humanity over the lives of his soldiers.”</p><p>“And what do you think of him for that?”</p><p>Armin sighed. “Those who aren’t willing to sacrifice anything can’t change anything. Take you, for example, Captain. You shouldn’t be a soldier anymore because of your leg. But you remained in the Survey Corps. You fought in Trost. You joined this expedition. You chose to order the soldiers to take down the Titans gathering below us, even though they could die. You gave the order even if they would have lived otherwise. You sacrificed your soldiers’ well-being and your own to further the Survey Corps’ goals. The Commander sacrificed his own humanity to make an impossible choice. Only those that can give up their humanity can rise above the monsters we face.”</p><p>
  <em>Boom!</em>
</p><p>All the soldiers’ attention shifted from fighting Titans to the sound of cannon fire coming from within the forest. The explosions kept coming, one after the other.</p><p>
  <em>Boom! Boom! Boom!</em>
</p><p>Armin and I returned to join the larger group. The carcasses of the Titans were steaming away, dissolving into ash on the ground. Some fallen soldiers were on the ground with them and I forced myself to look away. What would the surviving soldiers think of me now? I hung back while they risked their lives. Back in the Walls, I acted as caring as a mother. Would a mother have abandoned them like this?</p><p>“Captain, reporting!” Buchanan immediately approached me. “A soldier from the Left Wing arrived. Bertholdt Hoover. His squad was wiped out before the order to approach the forest. He got lost and found us here.”</p><p>I spotted the tall and dark-haired greenie. His eyes were opened wide as he stared at the soldiers killing the Titans below. He had been assigned to Officer Chester’s squad. And now they were dead. They must have died protecting him.</p><p>
  <em>Boom! Boom! Boom!</em>
</p><p>Everyone was confused but I made sure to keep my expression stoic. The canons meant that they had managed to lead the Female Titan into Erwin’s trap. She knew how to protect her nape. They needed to immobilize her joints so she couldn’t protect herself.</p><p>All the soldiers around me cried out their questions and concerns, but I answered none of them. Lili and Jenny looked at me desperately, realizing just how out of the loop they really were. They all wanted to know what they were risking their lives for today. They had a right to know.</p><p>
  <em>Why won’t you say anything, Captain?! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!”</em>
</p><p>It was the loudest sound I ever heard, far louder than any of the canons and even louder than when the Colossal Titan had broken down the gate in Shiganshina five years ago.</p><p>It was the Female Titan screaming. The canons had stopped firing.</p><p>More questions assaulted me when she finally quieted down, but I brushed them all off because of what I could see approaching from the distance. Titans running in our direction.</p><p>That’s how the Female Titan brought a horde with her. She screamed for them. It was the same as how the Titans in Trost were attracted to Eren. The Female Titan – <em>Annie Leonhart</em> – was purposely calling the Titans to her.</p><p>“Buchanan, send your men to inform the Commander. The Abnormal Titan roar has attracted the Titans. They’re coming and he needs to hurry,” I spitted out instructions to the Officer and he immediately sent out one of his men to relay my message. Goddesses, I hoped he made it to Erwin in time. If the Left Wing also wiped out their Titans when they approached the trees, then Erwin would still have time.</p><p>“Soldiers, get ready to take down the approaching Titans!” I exclaimed. “They will be fast, so we have to be faster.”</p><p>I knew they would be fast. But even if the Titans’ attentions were not on us, they still escaped the might of our blades. They sped through the trees, and our group only managed to take down less than 10 of them. The rest hurried deep into the forest where the Female Titan was trapped.</p><p>It was eerily quiet for a few minutes. We were all tense, waiting for more Titans to answer the Female Titan’s call. But no more approached. But there was no cannon fire coming from within the forest either.</p><p>Suddenly, plumes of dark blue smoke shot into the air.</p><p>Erwin was calling for a retreat.</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>“Captain! It’s the signal for retreat!” Officer Buchanan exclaimed.</p><p>“Buchanan, lead the troops out. Follow the retreat order. Squad Suzu, with me. We need to regroup with the Commander.”</p><p>“Captain, my men who sent out the message haven’t returned.”</p><p>That was odd but I still reassured the Officer, “Don’t worry, they would have seen the signal for retreat. Now go, Buchanan.”</p><p>We split ways. The rest of the soldiers returned down for their horses, taking advantage that there were no Titans approaching. I led Lili and Jenny further into the forest. I had to know what was going on. Did he capture the Titan-shifter? What happened after the Titans ran into the forest?</p><p>When I glanced down, I spotted the dead bodies of the messengers Buchanan had sent out. The messenger to the Left Wing didn’t even make it there. The second soldier Buchanan sent out was dead too, sprawled all over his comrade. Another lie I made to Buchanan. Did the Female Titan get to them?</p><p>They had both been slashed through right at their middles. It looked like their wounds were inflicted by our standard-issued blades. A traitor from within the Corps killed them. There was no other explanation.</p><p>I needed to find Erwin. <em>What happened? </em></p><p>“Green smoke, Captain!” Jenny exclaimed, pointing out the two plumes of smoke rising. Suspicious occurrences, just one after the other now.</p><p>Messages between veterans looped into Erwin’s plan would be communicated with orange smoke signals. None were fired today. It would have been too risky. We could have alerted the traitor and any of their allies. What was the green smoke supposed to mean?</p><p>“We’ll split up to investigate,” I said, ordering Jenny and Lili to fly in different directions so that we can encircle whoever fired the smoke signals.</p><p>“We shouldn’t leave you alone, Captain,” said Lili.</p><p>“If you don’t find anything,” I continued, ignoring her “Then you follow the Commander’s orders and retreat. If something goes wrong, fire a red smoke signal. <em>Go!</em>”</p><p>I wouldn’t allow them to disobey me, no matter what Erwin had ordered them to do previously. I was still their Captain. Even after today, they had to trust me. Jenny went right, following the smoke signals from outside the forest and Lili went left, closing the loop. I flew straight through.</p><p>I found Gunther’s dead body hanging by his cables. The traitor had found Squad Levi.</p><p>Tears slipped from my eyes and I could no longer stop them. After all the scheming and the lying, we still lost so many soldiers today. Squad Levi would never abandon Eren. If the traitor killed Gunther, then they had found Eren.</p><p>I took a moment to close Gunther’s eyes and cut him down from the wires. I pressed my lips against his cold forehead and cut out his Survey Corps patch to give to Levi later. I wouldn’t be able to take his body with me.</p><p>I had to keep moving.</p><p>I was still crying as I flew through the trees. I was afraid I would find more dead bodies on the ground. If Gunther was down, what happened to the rest of Squad Levi? What happened to <em>Levi</em>?</p><p>Then a telltale flash of lightning burst through the trees and I knew exactly where to go.</p><p>I hurtled into Eren in my pursuit. We both screamed as we crashed into each other and I maneuvered us so that our cables didn’t tangle. As we spun around, I saw the remaining members of Squad Levi coordinating an attack against the Female Titan, but their Captain was nowhere in sight. Where was Levi?</p><p>Squad Levi had blinded the Female Titan by plunging their blades into her eyeballs and she was pressed up against a tree, protecting her nape. Petra spared me a glance, the expression on her face telling me to take Eren and go.</p><p>“Eren!” I exclaimed, gripping him by the shoulders. “Look at me!”</p><p>“You have to shift into a Titan and run as fast you can!”       </p><p>“Captain?!”</p><p>“Do as I say! Keep your mind clear and look for the Commander or for Levi! I’ll stay behind and help your squad.”</p><p>“But, Captain─”</p><p>“Don’t argue! There’s a time to fight and there’s a time to run. You’re not a coward if you do the latter. We can’t lose you Eren. We’re putting our lives on the line for you, so don’t waste it! Transform and run!”</p><p>Eren let out a guttural scream and bit into his hand. I zipped away to escape the heat of his transformation and returned to support Squad Levi. The Female Titan attempted to stand at the sound of Eren transforming and running away, but steam was still hissing out of her sliced joints. Squad Levi had immobilized her.</p><p>A chance.</p><p>A gamble.</p><p>But just as Eld was coming down to slice at her nape, the Female Titan twisted her neck and snapped his body in her jaw. One of her eyes was already healed.</p><p>Petra was left gaping as the Female Titan rose to her feet, her cuts already healing. The Titan-shifter charged for the female soldier and stomped her into the ground.</p><p>“<em>Petra!</em>” Auruo cried out, half-sobbing. He was making one last ditch effort for her uncovered nape.</p><p>“Auruo, retreat!” I screeched at him.</p><p>Everything happened at once. I used my entire body weight to slam into him, pushing him out of the way. I watched as the Female Titan’s nape was covered in hard-looking crystal. Auruo’s blades would never have cut through it.</p><p>The two of us slammed hard onto the ground. Auruo had hit his head – he was dazed and out of it. I set his body behind me, physically defending him from the incoming Titan.</p><p>I shot a red smoke signal into the sky.</p><p>I could die here, but we couldn’t let the Female Titan escape. Not after everything we sacrificed.</p><p>The Female Titan trudged over to us, her stomps loud and heavy. Her eyes were completely healed now, and she was staring straight at us. Maybe she was deciding how she wanted to end our lives.</p><p>A chance.</p><p>A gamble.</p><p>I laid out all my cards.</p><p>“<em>Annie Leonhart!</em>” I exclaimed and if possible, her Titan eyes widened.</p><p>I had many strategies ingrained in my brain. My favorite one was acting as bait while someone else swooped in for the kill. I knew I looked like easy prey. It was always easy to fool the arrogant.</p><p>This time, I had to apply a different strategy – one that I learned from Armin. He was not the most physically fit soldier, but his mind could surpass even Erwin’s. I knew that now. Armin had used his words to prevent Eren from getting shot at. When he encountered Annie earlier today, he had stopped her from killing Jean by saying that Eren was already dead. Words were powerful.</p><p>No words were exchanged but, in that moment, I knew: Armin’s guess was right.</p><p>“Annie Leonhart! You killed Marco Bott in Trost! It was supposed to be a victory for humanity, but because of you – we lost a good soldier!” I accused. “How many people did you kill, Annie? Either by your own hands or at the hands of your friends who broke our gates!”</p><p>
  <em>“How many people did you kill?!”</em>
</p><p>Annie’s eyes were very expressive. My words hit her hard. My words made her guilty and regretful. My words made her furious.</p><p>Annie Leonhart decided to kill me.</p><p>But Levi was faster.</p><p>Levi came down on Annie with his signature twirl that cut all over her body. He cut down all over her back, he cut through her arms, he cut through her legs, and he cut through her head. Erwin had once criticized Levi for always using up too much gas. Since then, Levi had taken to using more decisive movements for taking down Titans.</p><p>But he was enraged now. He was screaming as he cut Annie Leonhart to pieces. What could he have seen on his way here? The decimated bodies of his squad and then the Titan-shifter approaching me and the last living member of Squad Levi. It made him fight and screech and <em>slice</em> at the killer before him.</p><p>Finally, Levi sliced through the nape. He was well-practiced with pulling Eren out of his Titan-form, so he did the same to Annie perfectly.</p><p>He pulled out a blonde, blue-eyed girl by her hair, making sure to chop off her arms and cut her out at the thighs. She was wearing ODM gear and a green Scouts cloak.</p><p>“<em>Annie?!</em>” Mikasa said in a mixed hiss and gasp, coming up from behind Levi. Her face was dark and murderous.</p><p>“Did you really think you could get away from me?” Levi taunted at Annie’s ear. “After you killed my squad?!”</p><p>Mikasa roared in fury and charged at the pair, blades ready at her hands. I shouted at her to wait and Levi managed to knock her aside while still keeping an ironclad grip on Annie.</p><p>He leveled Mikasa with a serious look “No. We bring her to Erwin.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm surprised I got to fit the whole expedition into one chapter haha I thought I wouldn't make it. It took me a long while to decide how to end the expedition and what to do with Annie. Hopefully, this will take the story into more interesting turns. Next chapter will be the aftermath of everything.</p><p>So happy to see a few new readers stopping by! I really enjoyed creating this chapter, so I hope you enjoyed reading it as well. I would love to hear from you (but being a silent reader is perfectly fine haha).</p><p>Thanks, everyone! See you next weekend!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 5 - Stohess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This expedition is as good as done, but our performances must continue.</p><p>Jenny and Lili found us just as the smoke rising from Annie’s Titan-carcass filled the vicinity. Currently, only the six of us here knew the true identity of the Female Titan. We would have to be careful about who else would be allowed to know. Squad Suzu needed to continue to serve as the distraction.</p><p>“How long do you think will she be unconscious?” I asked Levi as he was finishing off tying the gag around Annie’s mouth. He had torn off all her limbs and was doing everything to ensure she wouldn’t be able to shift again so soon. But Annie Leonhart was completely passed out and the Titan marks on her skin remained red and sinewy. Usually, when Eren was healing himself, steam would seep out of his closing wounds. Could Annie be too exhausted and too pulverized to heal herself as quickly?</p><p>“Hell, if I know,” Levi muttered.</p><p>“You have to find Eren and make sure he made it back to Erwin,” I said.</p><p>Annie did not join the Survey Corps, but she had allies within our regiment. Whoever they were had received the formation that said Eren was positioned in the right-wing. She would have massacred the entire wing to find him, had she not suddenly changed course as reported by Armin. How did she eventually realize the true position of Eren and Squad Levi?</p><p>Eren’s name caught Mikasa’s attention. She started preparing her gear for flight, silently telling us of her intent to join the search for Eren.</p><p>“I’m the only one who can take this bitch down if she shifts again,” said Levi darkly. Lili scoffed at that, but I quieted down her protests.</p><p>“If she does shift again, she won’t be in top fighting form. You saw what happened when we forced Eren to shift again and again.” After discovering the trick to Eren’s transformation, Hanji went all out with Eren’s experiments. One of them required Eren to shift his Titan form, get pulled out of the nape, and eventually shift again. Three iterations of this resulted into a puny 5-meter Titan form, with mismatched proportions.</p><p>“She spent hours in her Titan form running and killing Scouts. She called an entire horde of Titans to <em>eat</em> her and she still made it out alive with enough strength to take down my soldiers. Eren is a crap Titan-shifter. He can’t be our standard.”</p><p>Levi was correct of course, but we still needed to make a choice. Eren was inexperienced and vulnerable. It was far more important to ensure the safety of the Titan-shifter that was loyal to the Corps and to humanity. Eren deserved our best soldiers protecting him.</p><p>“If that’s the case, then we will die. It will buy you time. She will try to find Eren, so you need to find him first. Take Mikasa and Jenny.”</p><p>“Captain!” Jenny gasped, ready to protest my order, but I pressed on.</p><p>“Jenny, hood up. We’ll wrap Annie’s body in Lili’s cloak and allow everyone to think you’re dead. The identity of the Female Titan stays within this group. There is at least one more traitor in the Corps. We must maintain our upper hand by being discreet. Let Levi report to the Commander.”</p><p>“Leave Auruo to me, Levi. We’ll recover as many bodies as possible.” Bringing back the bodies of the fallen was heartbreaking every single time. I openly cried each instance, but the other veterans have hardened their feelings towards the unfortunately frequent occurrence.</p><p>Behind the tears pooling in my eyes, I did my best to convey my determination to Levi. We were the same rank, he could easily disagree with me and go against my orders.</p><p>But just as he trusted Erwin, he trusted me as well. He gave me a single nod and barked orders at Jenny and Mikasa to prepare. Levi spared a few seconds to check on Auruo who was fortunately conscious with a splitting headache.</p><p>“I leave my squad to you,” Levi said when he faced me again. He was leaving Auruo in my care, and he was trusting me to take back the bodies of Petra, Gunther, and Eld.</p><p>I nodded and offered him Gunther’s Wings. Levi clamped his hand tightly in mine for a moment, his way of telling me everything he was feeling. For those seconds, I felt Levi’s pain and suffering. I felt his fury and hatred. I felt his exhaustion. I felt his hope.</p><p>“Find Eren. Keep him safe.”</p><p>“<em>Tch</em>, you don’t need to remind me. Don’t cry in front of the greenie, Princess. You better get your ass back to Erwin or it’s your limbs I’ll be cutting off next,” he warned.</p><p>Levi didn’t wait for a reply and latched his cables onto his so-dubbed <em>Big Ass Trees</em>. He flew further into the forest, following Eren’s trail with Mikasa and Jenny following close behind.</p><p>“We need a cart and horses. Did you see any on your way here?” I asked Lili once Levi was out of sight.</p><p>She nodded reluctantly, “I saw some carts left behind, and our horses are still where we left them. But, Captain, it will take me some time─” Her eyes darted towards Annie’s wrapped and unmoving form.</p><p>“We’ll watch her,” Auruo piped up from behind us. He was still cradling his head, but his expression was murderous. I could see in his face that there was no way he was allowing Annie to get away after what she did to Squad Levi.</p><p>“Get the cart and horses. Load up any bodies you find. I’ll wait 20 minutes, Lili.” It went unspoken that if she didn’t make it back soon enough, I would have to leave her behind. 20 minutes was already too long to wait. I could only hope Erwin would be willing to stall the Corps long enough.</p><p>“Yes, Captain!” Lili exclaimed and zoomed into the trees. I left her with a tall order that would normally be impossible to fulfill. But I trusted each one of my squad members’ talents and ability to adapt.</p><p>Auruo kept his gaze trained on Annie’s form as I tried to patch him up with my limited first aid kit. His blades were ready at his side. If I wasn’t sitting there with him, maybe he would have gone ahead and killed her.</p><p>Levi and I were able to see the bigger picture. Yes, Annie Leonhart murdered multiple Scouts in today’s expedition. She and her allies killed thousands more by destroying Wall Maria and the Trost gate. I wasn’t arrogant enough to believe I had any say on who got to live or die. But I believed sentencing her to death would be a just path. Some may even say it was the best path.</p><p>But my years in the Survey Corps taught me that the best choice wasn’t always the correct one. Was the answer to death and destruction just more of it?</p><p>“Captain Suzu…thank you for saving my life back there,” Auruo murmured quietly. His voice was sad and broken.</p><p>“Even though I don’t deserve to live when the rest of my squad perished fighting <em>her</em>,” he spat out, glaring at Annie’s covered figure, “I’m still grateful. Because of you, I can return home to my family alive. I can join Captain Levi when he breaks the news to my comrades’ families. I can be there for him.”</p><p>“Your life is precious, Auruo,” I said, feeling the tears pool in my eyes once more. I couldn’t seem to stop crying. “None of you should have died. When I saw Gunther, I…I─”</p><p>I choked up and the sound that came next was a sob. I allowed my tears to flow freely as I sobbed over the deaths I witnessed. Because of Annie, most of Squad Levi experienced painful deaths. Because of her, the entire right-wing of today’s expedition fell to a horde of Titans.</p><p>
  <em>Why? Why?</em>
</p><p>“Don’t cry, Captain,” Auruo soothed, but he was weeping as well.</p><p>Lili returned in less than 15 minutes to a sobbing mess of two soldiers and an unconscious Titan shifter. She had on a tight smile as she loaded Annie’s body into the cart, right on top of the corpses of her making. Lili assisted Auruo up. The man cringed at every movement and had to rest his head between his knees once he was settled in the cart. I looked at all the bodies Lili managed to collect, memorizing their names and battered faces. There would be plenty of letters to write tonight.</p><p>Annie remained under the watchful eye of my squad member while I steered our horses. The blue smoke signals for retreat still rose into the air. Erwin was waiting for me. I drove the horses hard, only pausing to load up other bodies we came across. I added their names to the list I was compiling in my head. So many of my Scouts lost. We had to make sure their sacrifices meant something.   </p><p>The Survey Corps were still gathered and waiting when we finally broke through the trees and out of the forest. They hadn’t been idle. Scouts were running around to hastily load up carts. Field medics were tending to the injured. Soldiers were giving their reports. Others were covering bodies in white sheets.</p><p>Several soldiers were speaking to the Commander at once, but I could see his blue eyes trained on our cart. He watched as we rode nearer and nearer to the group. Erwin’s eyes never strayed from mine.</p><p>I breathed a sigh of relief I didn’t realize I was holding. Erwin and I had not seen each other even once since were rode out of the abandoned town. Although, thanks to Levi, I knew Erwin survived Annie’s screams and the Titans that followed. It was still comforting to see him myself, alive and breathing and <em>alright</em>.</p><p>I wanted nothing more than to leap off this cart and run into his arms. I wanted to bury myself into his chest and beg him not to let me go.</p><p>But our performance had to go on. And my left leg was <em>aching</em>. Throwing myself off this cart could finish the job and paralyze me for good. Holding myself back wasn’t easy, but it had to be done. It’s not like we were greenies at this anymore.</p><p>Despite everything, I shot Erwin the best smile I could muster. His shoulders visibly sagged, the tension there disappearing. Even the other Scouts in the vicinity relaxed a little more.</p><p>I stopped the cart a few paces away from where Erwin was waiting. Lili assisted in Auruo getting down and passed him off to a field medic. Then she took Annie’s body, still concealed in her own green cloak, and carried the body in her arms. Lili nodded to me once. Annie was still passed out.  </p><p>Erwin was there to help me down. Very briefly, he pressed his hands against my waist then pressed a kiss each to both my knuckles. Levi was waiting right behind him, but his eyes were on my squad member holding Annie.</p><p>I scanned the area until my eyes landed on the other half of my squad who I also haven’t seen since the abandoned town – Karl and Peter. The two were also watching us. In the cart behind them sat a hooded Scout. Jenny probably filled them in as best as she could. I had a lot to explain to my squad when we returned to the Walls.</p><p>A few carts off I could even spot Mikasa and Armin, who had their eyes trained down towards the contents of one of the carts. I had no doubt it was Eren lying in there, fresh off his transformation.</p><p>“Commander, we are nearly finished here,” Silvio, a member of Erwin’s Command Squad, ran up to report. He eyed my cart and penciled in more additions to his clipboard. Erwin had put him in charge of the death toll.</p><p>“Some Titans have begun gathering by the entrance of the forest, but none are headed this way yet.” </p><p>“Let’s move at once. Inform the squads,” Erwin ordered.</p><p>“Yes, Commander!”</p><p>“I refuse to accept this, Commander Erwin!” another voice interrupted, and I spotted two soldiers running up to us. Their names were Dieter and Timon, and they’ve been with the Survey Corps for a year.</p><p>“We should recover the missing bodies!” Dieter continued, despite Silvio scolding him. “Ivan’s body was right there in front of us!”</p><p>“Ivan and I grew up in the same town. I know his parents! I need to at least take him home.” Timon added.</p><p>“A bunch of brats arguing,” Levi cut them off, glaring at the pair. The two stood their ground, despite shooting nervous looks at Humanity’s Strongest.</p><p>“Ivan’s body is in the cart,” I jumped into their conversation before Levi could talk them down even further. I didn’t have to fake the despair in my tone. I ran through the list of names in my head. Petra. Eld. Gunther. Ivan. And more. Too many names and I knew my list wasn’t complete. These were only the Scouts who had died in the forest.</p><p>Dieter and Timon looked at me with pale faces, horror clear in their expressions. Before approaching the cart, they looked at me, Lili, and the body bundled in Lili’s arms.</p><p>“I thought our commanding officers were made up of monsters just as cruel as the Titans themselves,” Dieter said, tearing up. “But you have compassion, Captain Suzu. You are the heart of the Survey Corps. We’re so sorry for your squad’s loss.”</p><p>I nodded wordlessly. I didn’t say anything more lest they catch me in a lie. Dieter and Timon were completely overwhelmed by emotion, they even had me caught up in their wave of feelings. Poor Ivan would never be able to be with his family again.</p><p>My role in this expedition was to root out the traitor. But I was the one who kept betraying my Scouts. All I was able to do was lie to them.</p><p>When Dieter and Timon confirmed Ivan’s body was indeed loaded in my cart, they apologized to the Commander while holding back tears. Erwin clamped his hands on their soldiers, promising them that Ivan’s death had meaning.</p><p>Erwin declared plainly and clearly for all to hear that the 57<sup>th</sup> Expedition was successful.</p><p>There was confusion all throughout the Survey Corps, but the Commander didn’t pause to explain a thing. He ordered all Squads to be ready to move out in one minute, as we had to put as much distance as possible between the formation and the gathering Titans.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Erwin finished deciding the Survey Corps’ next steps during the ride back to Wall Rose.</p><p>Surviving recruits from the 104<sup>th</sup> Training Corps and some other Scouts who joined after the fall of Wall Maria were ordered to wait for further instructions back in the old Survey Corps Headquarters. Squad Mike would be in charge of them. Everyone in that group was still under the suspicion of being allied with Annie Leonhart.</p><p>Eren would stay at the main Survey Corps headquarters, joined by Mikasa and Armin and under the watch of Levi and a recovering Auruo. My squad and Erwin’s Command Squad would also be stationed in the main HQ, traveling back and forth between the old headquarters and a military outpost loaned to us by Premier Zackley.</p><p>At the outpost, Squad Hanji and the Survey Corps’ head research scientist would lead the investigation into Annie Leonhart. They were tasked with learning the girl’s history, abilities, and agenda. Hanji was overjoyed with her squad’s assignment and threw herself into work immediately.</p><p>My squad was in charge of taking care of all the work post the expedition. We needed to collect and complete all reports to be able to have a concrete picture of what exactly happened during the expedition. We needed to ensure the injured were well-treated in our infirmary and forward those with more life-threatening conditions to the hospital in Sina. I devoted an entire night to writing all the notices of deaths that would be going out to the families of our fallen Scouts, and we were in charge of organizing their military funerals as well. Finally, we needed to complete our expense reports and replenish our resources. I had no idea when the next expedition would be, but we had to be prepared and armed to the teeth.</p><p>Erwin took care of reporting everything to Zackley and to the other stakeholders of this expedition. For the first time in a while, Erwin was singlehandedly taking care of all the politics that happened in the innermost Wall. He smooth-talked the furious government officials and horrified religious leaders, all with Zackley throwing in his complete support for the Survey Corps. Our capture of Annie Leonhart and discovery of a new Titan-shifter proved the Survey Corps’ worth, but it also revealed the cards we held. Everyone wanted a piece of Annie Leonhart. This time, Erwin was being very particular about all the decision-making. He needed to be in complete control of the situation.</p><p>He refused to allow this victory for the Survey Corps to be snatched by the greedy groups who preferred that humanity never leave the Walls. I didn’t resent him for leaving me out of the loop this time. All I felt was trust for my husband and Commander.</p><p>Nearly two weeks have passed since the Survey Corps returned from the 57<sup>th</sup> Expedition and Annie Leonhart takes the torture and experimentation quietly. Aside from the pained grunts and the cries she couldn’t stifle, Annie did not breathe a word. Even if it was frustrating, I was still impressed. Keeping your mouth shut even after undergoing torture served by Hanji and by Premier Zackley (sometimes even by Levi and Erwin) had to be a talent.</p><p>Hanji’s collected an obscene amount of information regarding Titan-shifter healing and transformations. I occasionally read through Hanji’s detailed findings that she updated after every session. In one instance, she allowed Annie’s limbs to grow almost fully and cut off one arm to measure the time it would take to grow back. In another, she purposely left behind some torture instruments as Annie bled out. When the girl attempted to swipe one of the tools, she triggered a partial transformation. The report said she attempted to use her crystallization abilities to cover her entire body, but Hanji cut her off just in time. The crystallized Titan arm didn’t dissipate away like a normal Titan corpse, and it was stored in Hanji’s lab in the basement levels of the Survey Corps HQ. Annie never attempted a transformation again after that session.</p><p>For all the information Hanji’s gathered about Annie’s abilities, she drew a blank at Annie’s history and actual goals. A background check revealed she came from the same settlement as Reiner and Bertholdt. Mike was instructed to keep a close eye on them, but nothing suspicious ever occurred.</p><p>Annie’s belongings were standard and unremarkable. Nothing she owned was overly personalized. Sometimes, when she was passed out, Annie would murmur in her slumber. She called for her father. She refused to speak despite all the torture. Zackley, who had been gleeful for the first week of our investigation and torture of Annie, was turning sour over the lack of progress.</p><p>I had Jenny look into the trio when my squad’s responsibilities eased up. She discovered that Annie had been stalking some Nobles, but was found out by one of their guards. After that, she never showed up again on any of the Nobles’ radars.</p><p>Jenny’s findings made me think about Krista and her situation. Erwin and I agreed to keep it from Zackley, especially after witnessing the man’s joyful approach to the torture of our captured Titan-shifter. Who knows what he would do if he found out we had a secret Noble bastard in our ranks?</p><p>Under Erwin’s request, I was visiting Annie tonight for the first time. I wasn’t willing to partake in any torturing, but Erwin assured me that he just wanted me to speak with her. He wanted to know my thoughts on Annie. Erwin was confident I could find something significant. I wasn’t so sure. It was me who revealed to Annie that her secret was out. I couldn’t imagine her opening up to me.</p><p>Karl escorted me to Annie’s underground prison. He had been the one tasked with delivering messages between Hanji and HQ.</p><p>I saluted to Premier Zackley once I entered Annie’s cell. Fortunately, he wasn’t in the middle of torturing her. He was merely sitting and watching her tremble from the wounds inflicted on her earlier today.  </p><p>If anything, that felt crueler.  </p><p>“Premier Zackley, sir!”</p><p>“Ah, Suzuru. I was wondering when I would be seeing you again. Usually, you’re always buzzing around me – asking for one thing or another for your precious Survey Corps. Come then, view your prize.”</p><p>I obeyed his bid forward and stepped closer so I could take a proper look at Annie. She looked <em>awful</em>.</p><p>Hanji learned that Annie could control her healing progress. The first few nights, she desperately tried to rush the healing of her arms in an attempt to escape. As her captivity dragged on, Annie stopped trying. Her body healed itself slowly now, but her limbs needed to be severed less frequently now.</p><p>The Titan marks under her eyes never went away. Her bright ice-like eyes were dead and glassy. There were unhealed cuts littering her torso, and the stumps where her limbs were cut off were an angry red.</p><p>She was not my Scout. But I was the one who outed her. I felt responsible for her. I was responsible for all the grief and pain she was receiving. I never wanted to come here and face her.</p><p>I felt like a monster.</p><p>“She’s always quiet,” Zackley grumbled and I wanted to yell at him. But what good would it do? I could accuse him of harming a <em>child</em>, and he could retort back with how this child killed thousands of us because of her actions.</p><p>No one in this situation was good. Every one of us had something to be regretful for. We all had something we wanted to fight for.</p><p>What did Annie want to fight for?</p><p>“Do you know who I am?” I asked her. She refused to look at me and remained silent. I was still sure she would never forget my face.</p><p>Did she regret not being fast enough to kill me in the forest? She could have escaped if I didn’t speak. I caught her off guard and now she was being tortured day and night by military men.</p><p>“Under the King’s order, the Church of the Walls is demanding that we move her to Stohess. They demand that we bring that Jaeger boy with us as well.”</p><p>Annie still didn’t stir at Zackley’s words.</p><p>“You said Eren was ours. Unconditionally, Premier Zackley.”</p><p>“Then I’ll let you defy the King, girl.”</p><p>“Why does the church want her and Eren?”</p><p>Zackley chuckled, “You think I would know? Maybe some fucked up divine tradition or maybe they wanted to turn them into their sex slaves. Maybe they think if they make those two breed, we could build more Walls.”</p><p>Premier Zackley was a pig. He was a vile man.</p><p>“Was Commander Erwin informed?”</p><p>“That husband of yours is already scheming, as always.”</p><p>For some reason, that made Annie snap.</p><p>She <em>laughed</em>. It was an ugly screech coming from the bottom of her throat. She laughed and laughed and the Premier and I could only watch with wide eyes. The soldiers positioned outside the cells rushed in, but there was nothing for them to do. Annie was just laughing.</p><p>“You sleep with the devil?!” Annie asked me incredulously, then fell into another laughing fit.</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“Someone like you could still be redeemed. You don’t have the vermin blood. You’re intelligent and you can control the men around you. But you still fell for one of them! You actually married the devil?! What, did your crazy Commander with those gigantic eyebrows <em>order</em> you to marry him? You’ve soiled yourself! No one will ever want you now, even with your pretty eyes!”</p><p>Zackley demanded she explain herself but Annie continued to laugh. When an aggravated Zackley got up to slap her, I took that as my cue to take my leave.</p><p>Annie spoke about devils. She called Erwin a devil. It was not the first time he’s been called one, but it felt different coming from her – like it held a different meaning. Her condescending words made me think of my father. He had called humanity living in the Walls sheep.</p><p>But my mother – she read fairytales. In one of the stories, a girl made a deal with the <em>devil</em>.</p><p>I returned to HQ and reported to Erwin. He asked me to repeat Annie’s words and to write them down so he could read them over and over again. He was not butthurt over the girl’s name-calling. He was very pensive over Annie’s words.</p><p>“I was right to send you,” Erwin said with a smirk on his face. He was happy over this small triumph. Days of torture had garnered nothing. Then Annie goes hysterical over finding out I was married to Erwin.</p><p>“You’re not some kind of devil because of your eyes?” Hanji questioned after I shared the experience with her. We were sitting in her laboratory in HQ, and most of her attention was devoted to the crystal sample in front of her.</p><p>It was a remarkable material. None of our equipment could break through it but it didn’t weigh as heavy as it looked. Just like a Titan. Hanji even theorized the crystal was the same material as what the impenetrable Walls were made of.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Your eyes, Suzu,” Hanji said, finally turning to me. “Aren’t you one of the last Orientals in the Walls? You and Mikasa. Your eyes are what stand out the most at first glance. That’s how people know you’re different.”</p><p>“What does that have to do with being a devil?”</p><p>“I don’t know, she talked about your eyes and blood. But come look at this!” Hanji exclaimed and pulled me over to a different table. While the center table had been occupied by the crystal, this one shoved against the corner of the room held glass vials.</p><p>“Here are samples of the blood I extracted from Annie,” Hanji pointed to one rack then moved on to the other, “And Eren was kind enough to let me draw some from him. And it was hard, I tell you! Their blood dissolves away almost immediately!”</p><p>“Good thing we have the Survey Corps’ very own Titan genius on the case,” I indulged her, and Hanji wrapped me in a hug.</p><p>“Thank you! Anyways,” she continued. “Both have very different properties from the other blood samples I took from Moblit, who is not a Titan-shifter by the way. From what I can tell, shifter blood has more healing properties! That explains why they’re able to regenerate cut-off limbs and why they can even transform at all! I wonder if they were born with this ability already? Oh, how I wish we found Eren’s father! Next best thing is to get into his basement!”</p><p>I listened as Hanji continued to ramble on about her findings. Her experiments on Annie gave her a treasure trove of answers to the biology of Titans. But it also opened up so many more unanswered questions. Why were Eren and Annie even able to transform in the first place? What made them different from the other Titans?</p><p>I am finally able to extract Hanji from her lab when Moblit calls us for dinner. Over the meal, she raves about her findings to Erwin who listens to her intently even if the other soldiers around us were tired of her voice.</p><p>For dinner, I join Eren, Armin, and Mikasa at their table. It warmed my heart that they were comfortable enough to act like themselves around me. Eren complained about Levi’s grueling hand-to-hand combat training. Armin reminded him why it was important while Mikasa swore she would murder the shortie. The three of them also missed their fellow trainees who were stationed at the old HQ. When we revealed to Eren and Armin the identity of the Female Titan, their reactions were tense. Eren didn’t want to believe it and Armin was horrified to be right. To be told that it was possible that there were more traitors from their Training Corps made them despair more. Fortunately, as the days passed, they seemed to be accepting it slowly.  </p><p>“Captain Suzu, you’re from Shiganshina aren’t you?” Eren asked, drawing me into the conversation.</p><p>There’s a hush that goes around the room, and the trio looks confused about it. It went unspoken that Scouts were not to ask me about what happened in Shiganshina. Sometimes, my tendency to freeze up still jumped out and I couldn’t control it. It used to happen when I would see a Titan. Nowadays, it only came up when I was asked about what happened in Shiganshina. The former Squad Erwin and the other veterans in the Corps were protective over me and for this reason, nobody asked me about Shiganshina. The newer Scouts usually didn’t even know I lived there briefly and was present for the breaking of the Wall.</p><p>I could see Levi ready to snap at Eren, so I answered before he could say anything.</p><p>“Yes. I lived there for a while when I was younger.”</p><p>“Petra told me…before…that you were there when the Wall fell,” Eren said in a hushed tone, but everyone was still listening in.</p><p>For a moment, I felt like the Wall’s debris were crashing all around me. My brother was crushed in one go.</p><p>“Yes…I was there. The Colossal kicked the gate down, and my house was nearby. A piece of the gate crushed my leg.”</p><p>Eren looked regretful that he asked at all, but he pressed on, “So did you know my father? Doctor Grisha Jaeger?”</p><p>I shook my head. “My father did not allow me to go outside much. I didn’t live there for so long. I didn’t know anyone in Shiganshina, I’m sorry Eren.”</p><p>He looked defeated but nodded anyway. Maybe he was hoping I could tell him something about his father – something that would trigger a memory that could help us learn more about his abilities.</p><p>“I’m sorry you lost your mother. The three of you were so young when the Wall fell.”</p><p>“That day I swore that I would kill all the Titans,” Eren said through gritted teeth. “To avenge my mother. To avenge Armin’s grandpa. And now, to avenge you, Captain, and the family you lost.”</p><p>“I haven’t lost my family, Eren. Erwin is my family. The Survey Corps is my family, so that includes the three of you.”</p><p>“Thank you, Captain,” Mikasa piped up, looking bashful and hiding behind her scarf. Armin smiled at me too, but it was a sad smile. Eren looked more determined. I gave them all a smile of my own.</p><p>It was a sad commonality between the four of us. Survivors from Shiganshina. I was grateful to have lived through it and grateful that these three did too. Because of them, humanity had hope again.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Erwin complies with the Church’s order to deliver Annie and Eren to Stohess. But not quite down to the letter.</p><p>First, there Jean acting as a body double for Eren. Neither of the two boys was very happy about that. Second were the Scouts Erwin ordered to be positioned and concealed on the rooftops surrounding the church building. And finally, the third was me and my mother’s fairytale book.</p><p>Erwin spun some story that Annie only responded to my voice. I would be reading her a story so that she would be conscious enough for the Church’s officials to question her. But Erwin’s actual target was the reaction of the officials to the devil story. He was convinced Annie’s use of the word had a deeper meaning than a petty insult. Even when the military had Annie, the truth was being concealed from us. The Church of the Walls was attempting to add another layer to cover it up. Erwin wouldn’t stand for that.</p><p>It was strange that a religious order had its own underground prison. The officials led us through a side hallway so we didn’t interrupt an ongoing ceremony. They led us down to a hidden staircase that opened up to the Church’s dungeon. Once this was all over, that would be another point of interest for Jenny to look into. Even Commander Nile and Premier Zackley, who had joined us today, looked shocked at the facilities.</p><p>The Church officials had Annie chained similarly to when she was in the military outpost under Zackley. She wasn’t unconscious, but she wasn’t being responsive either. Her attitude was already starting to irritate the officials.</p><p>“Wake her up, girl,” said one of them, pulling me forward by the arm. I exaggerated my stumbling and even dropped my cane for maximum effect. It was important they saw me as weak.</p><p>“She is a Captain in the Survey Corps and has killed dozens of Titans twice your size, Pastor,” Erwin spat at them, his face thunderous. He knew I was putting up a front but it didn’t make him go any easier.</p><p>The pastor tittered at him and muttered something about the Survey Corps being greedy tax-wasters. When I opened my book and turned to the right page, there were more murmurs about me having illegal material in my possession. Zackley shot them down quickly, ordering them to keep quiet if they wanted this to work.</p><p>I began reading the story.</p><p>
  <em>There once was a young girl called Krista. She was an altruistic girl. She was a loving girl. She was a kind girl. Krista was the perfect little lady. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But one day, Krista made a mistake. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She met a hideous monster who begged her for food. Because Krista is kind and because Krista is generous, she offered the monster the fruit she was just about to eat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The monster promised to give her a gift in return even if Krista was willing to give the fruit freely. The monster said nothing was free, and that they must strike a deal. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Krista accepted and was transformed into a hideous monster. She made a deal with the devil and became the devil herself.</em>
</p><p>“What is the meaning of this?!” one of the Pastors roared, lunging at me. Nile held him back and I continued to read the story of Krista out loud. The Church officials were all furious with Erwin and Zackley, but the two men wore neutral expressions on their faces. The officials ordered me to stop reading the forbidden book. They threatened me and assured me I was going to be sentenced to death.</p><p>I continued to read.</p><p>
  <em>Krista was cursed for life. This curse never ended. Krista’s daughters suffered and experienced hideous transformations too. So did her daughters’ daughters.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Krista is altruistic. Krista is loving. Krista is kind. Krista is the perfect little devil. </em>
</p><p>Annie was laughing again. I stopped reading and even the Church officials clamped down their protests.</p><p>“Congratulations, <em>Captain,</em>” Annie spat out at me, sounding hysterical. “You’ve figured it out! Maybe you’ve known all along! I knew you were smarter than all these devils. It’s a shame you will have to die with them.”</p><p>The Church officials did not gag Annie. They did not take care to watch her carefully. Annie’s teeth sunk into her lower lip and the room was engulfed in the spark of transformation.</p><p>A strong arm grabbed me by my middle and then we were flying.</p><p>The Commanders, the Premier, and I had all worn our complete ODM gear when we were escorted down to the dungeons of the Church. Nile had complained about Erwin’s insistence to strap on his gear but complied when the Premier ordered it. Our gear saved our lives, while the officials who had accompanied us were all crushed under the rubble.</p><p>I shuddered. It was too similar to when I was last in Shiganshina.</p><p>Annie’s Titan form was smaller than it had been during the expedition. It was barely proportional – its torso too large and its legs too thin. But her transformation still managed to decimate the entire Church building, along with most of the worshippers inside it.</p><p>Annie immediately sprinted for the Wall to escape us. But Erwin had prepared for this too.</p><p>“Forward, Scouts! Do not let her escape!” he bellowed.</p><p>The soldiers waiting on the rooftops leaped and flew towards Annie. A flash of light signaled another Titan transformation.</p><p>Eren’s transformation was practiced and calculated. He immediately charged for Annie, all rage and muscle. Eren also looked different this time – fiery black veins covered his body. Annie shot back fearful looks at him – desperation clear in her Titan eyes.</p><p>All the Scouts flew at her, Jean even joining from below after breaking his act. Eren had caught up to Annie and they were fighting each other, Levi’s quick and dirty training shining through as Eren pummeled Annie with punches. He would win easily, and Annie knew it.</p><p>She turned tail and ran for the Wall, screaming the entire time. But no Titans would answer her call this deep in the Walls. Annie smacked down buildings in her wake, attempting to slow down Eren’s and the Scouts’ charge towards her. Erwin gambled on this as well. He wanted to make it clear that only the Survey Corps could handle capturing a Titan shifter. With anyone else, it would just result into more chaos.</p><p>Annie had made it to the Wall and clawed at it, pulling herself up little by little. She intended to make a run for it and live another day. Eren wouldn’t let her.</p><p>Eren’s Titan yanked down Annie and ripped off her leg, similar to how she’s been tortured. Annie’s screams never subsided. Eren had her pinned down beneath him and his jaw ripped through the muscle covering her nape. Annie Leonhart was exposed once more.</p><p>“He’s going to eat her!” Hanji cried.</p><p>In the next second, Levi was at Eren’s nape. With one decisive swipe, he cut the soldier out of the Titan.</p><p>“Oi, brat. Don’t eat the evidence,” Levi scowled at his charge.</p><p>Suddenly, Premier Zackley swooped down using his ODM. It shocked me that he was still capable. He was older than Pixis. Surely, he left the fighting to the younger soldiers?</p><p>I should have realized that Zackley was not there to fight. He was there to protect his own selfish interests.</p><p>Zackley would never let the Nobles have a Titan-shifter.</p><p>With a musket that I had initially thought to be a blade, Zackley shot Annie Leonhart where she lied in her Titan. A clean shot right through her head.</p><p>Premier Zackley had killed Annie Leonhart.</p><p>All the Scouts gathered were speechless, even Erwin. Nile, who had arrived just in time to see the Premier’s actions, was sputtering in disbelief. Why would the Premier kill her?</p><p>“She was never going to talk,” Zackley said as if reading my mind.</p><p>Then he pointed the long gun directly at me.</p><p>Within seconds, my squad surrounded me, joined by our Commander. Erwin pulled me behind him.</p><p>Zackley did not bring down the gun.</p><p>“I can shoot her even with all you Scouts in the way. I’ll shoot the bullet straight through all of you!” Zackley cried confidently, a crazed look in his eyes.</p><p>“Premier Zackley,” said Erwin, but nothing else after that. The Premier had even caught the cunning Commander of the Survey Corps off-guard.</p><p>“Commander Erwin,” started Zackley, taking command of the conversation.</p><p>“The Survey Corps will find and give me the Armored Titan and Colossal Titan. Or I will have your wife’s head. The Leonhart girl said she wasn’t a devil like the rest of us. She could be the traitor you’re looking for.” Zackley was laughing maniacally, not unlike Annie.</p><p>“So, give me the Armored and Colossal Titans, or I will kill Suzuru Smith for the crime of disloyalty to the military and to the Crown.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that ends this fic's coverage of Season 1!!! Next time you see me, we'll be in Zeke's world huhu  Let me know if that was the ending you were expecting?? HAHA idk if I was expecting that myself, honestly. </p><p>Can I also just say I can't believe Season 4 Part 1 is over aaaaaaaah!!!! PIECK IS MY GIRLLLLL!!! I love her and I can't wait to write about her too. I'm so excited for Part 2 to come out! </p><p>Thank you for reading this chapter! I've noticed some new readers joining in so welcome and thank you for being here! I started this fic really for myself to enjoy and I continue to write for my own personal enjoyment. But I won't deny it's really lovely to interact with you all through the comments or to see the kudos's. Please know that I appreciate you all! </p><p>See you next weekend!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. 6.1 - Wall Rose, Part One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Premier Zackley and his men left the Survey Corps and Military Police to clean up the aftermath in Stohess. After making his demands known, the Premier swept away. None of us were in the position to go against his orders. Only the King had the power to overturn Zackley’s demand. But with the decimation of the Church of the Wall and the Stohess District, the Nobility would take time to recuperate. Zackley was taking full advantage of this period, just like how he took advantage of the Church’s foolishness and Annie’s vulnerability.</p><p>The Female Titan shifter was dead. Our best lead to smoking out the traitors to humanity slipped from our hands when we thought we were about to declare victory. Erwin was positioning the situation to make it clear that it was only the Survey Corps who could effectively handle keeping a Titan-shifter captive. Zackley, who we had thought was a supporter of ours, went behind our backs and fulfilled his own agenda. He ensured neither the Church nor the Nobility would get their hands on a live and powerful weapon. It didn’t matter to him that it would also mean ensuring humanity never got the answers it desperately needed.   </p><p>Erwin took the defeat in stride and immediately went about assigning squads with their respective tasks. Squad Hanji was assigned to investigating the Wall Titan (<em>a Titan! In the Wall!</em>) that was revealed when Annie attempted to escape by clawing her way up the Wall. Levi and Auruo were to escort the Shiganshina trio back to the Scouts’ safehouse within Stohess. Erwin wanted Eren to remain within his reach.</p><p>Squad Suzu was ordered to join Squad Mike in watching over the Scouts who had been stationed in the old HQ for almost two weeks now. Erwin was sending me as far away as possible from Zackley whose post was in the innermost city of Sina.</p><p>He’s probably already decided to take over my duties of meeting with the Premier over Survey Corps matters. He would absorb any of my roles that required me to go to Sina. My overprotective husband would make sure the Premier would never have the opportunity to point a weapon at me again.</p><p>“Suzu, don’t argue with me on this,” Erwin said when he finally turned away from the other soldiers asking for his input. To most, Erwin right now would seem like the stoic and heartless devil-Commander he is rumored to be. Right after the murder of Annie Leonhart and the threats made to his wife, he was already calling out orders to his soldiers. A man stripped of humanity, who willingly sent his Scouts to death in the name of discovering more about the Titans.</p><p>To me, Erwin just looked tired.</p><p>“Are you speaking as my husband or as my Commander?”</p><p>“Whichever will make you listen, wife.”</p><p>When Zackley pointed his rifle at me, Erwin had swiftly pulled me behind him. Even in our days as Squad Erwin, he was always protecting me. We always did this. He would send me away for my safety when all I wanted to do was stay by his side.</p><p>It always came down to a matter of trust. I trusted my Commander, and I trusted my husband even more.</p><p>Keeping my eyes on Erwin, I spoke an order to my squad, “Karl, prepare the horses. We leave for Wall Rose at once.”</p><p>“Yes, Captain!”</p><p>Erwin strode over to me as my squad scrambled away to prepare. He took my hand and pressed his lips on my knuckles, keeping his gaze on mine the entire time.</p><p><em>Thank you</em>, he said without words.</p><p>“Your squad will keep you safe. Mike will keep you safe.” It sounded like Erwin was assuring himself more than me.</p><p>“I’ll keep myself safe. Promise me you’ll do the same, husband.”</p><p>“I swear it, Suzuru. I’ll come for you when we’re done here.” Erwin sealed his promise with a kiss to my forehead. He swept away from me, assuming his role as Commander once more. The Scouts listened to him intently, but once in a while shot me worried looks. It warmed my heart to know everyone just wanted me safe. How could I ever deny the wishes of my dear soldiers?</p><p>“The horses are ready, Captain,” Peter reported as he came up behind me.</p><p>“Good. One more thing,” I said as a thought suddenly struck me.</p><p>“There’s a Military Police HQ here in Stohess, isn’t there? Did it survive the Titans?”</p><p>My squad rode for the old Survey Corps HQ, our cart filled to the brim with meat and other supplies taken from the destroyed and unprotected MP storehouse. The sun was high in the sky during our ride. It was hard to accept that the incident in Stohess happened in only a few hours. The peaceful and quiet Wall Rose was starkly different from the carnage in Stohess.</p><p>What would I be able to do for the Survey Corps all the way out here? I would have preferred fighting at Erwin’s side – fighting against incensed MPs and affronted civilians. But my husband sent me away fearing for my safety. Zackley wasn’t going to kill me today, but I was still too close to the Premier for Erwin’s comfort. He probably would have willingly let me go on an expedition to Wall Maria just to get farther.</p><p>At least my Scouts seemed overjoyed to see me. Upon our arrival, Jenny immediately set off to find Mike to give him Erwin’s brief of the events that transpired in Stohess earlier today. Lili took the horses to the stables, and the Russo brothers brought our stolen goods inside. I would catch up with Mike in a bit.</p><p>First, I greeted our freshest recruits. The change of pace our arrival brought excited them greatly. Under Erwin’s orders, the Scouts still under suspicion of being traitors were banned from training or leaving the HQ. They were watched over by Mike and his soldiers at all times. They were also to be kept out of the loop of the events happening with the rest of the Survey Corps in the main HQ and Stohess.</p><p>It may have been a welcome break in the first few days following the expedition, but weeks of stagnation were clearly boring them to death. My arrival meant something was happening.</p><p>“Captain – <em>did you bring meat?!</em>” Sasha was practically frothing at the mouth and sniffing the air like a wild animal. She pounced at Peter entering behind me and swiped pieces of dried meat from the crate he was carrying. I laughed as the other Scouts complained and helped my squad member distribute the food.</p><p>“Captain, what are you doing here?” asked Connie as he chewed on his share.</p><p>“Is the Commander calling us back to headquarters?” Reiner added.    </p><p>“Not quite,” I shot them an easygoing smile. “I know these past days have been tense. I came to lift spirits.”</p><p>“Captain, you are a goddess!” Sasha moaned, returning to the food crate for the fourth time.</p><p>“Tell me how you’ve been,” I requested, taking a seat to join the recruits. They bombarded me with their responses. All of them were bored out of their minds. Reiner and Bertholdt had played so many chess games, they could do it with their eyes shut. Sasha complained that the food was never tasty enough. Connie spoke about how his hometown was so close by. There was also a bit about bears for some reason. The recruits also asked after their other comrades called to the main Scouts HQ, but I steered the conversation in other directions.</p><p>I made sure to shoot Krista a smile as well. The talk we promised to have after the expedition never happened because of our capture of Annie and the events that followed. That’s something I would have to resolve right away. Why was Krista using a fake identity? Why was being a bastard of Lord Reiss such a big deal?</p><p>“Captain Suzu,” Jenny called as she entered the room. “Captain Mike is looking for you.”</p><p>I chuckled as the recruits groaned, most of them not done sharing their stories. Although they said the time they’ve spent here was boring, the recruits sure had a lot to share.</p><p>“Apologies, soldiers. Mike should have been the first one I talked to when I got here, but I just missed you all.” I wasn’t feigning, I truly had missed them all in the short time we were apart. I was attached to this batch of recruits just as I have been to all the previous ones. They were all precious to me, especially having gone through an expedition.</p><p>“Jenny and Peter are here, so why don’t you fill them in?” I said, to the horror of my squad members. I exited to go meet with Mike and gave Jenny and Peter an apologetic look.</p><p>Nanaba and Tomas from Mike’s personal squad greeted me as I made my way to the top of one of the HQ’s turrets. Mike was looking out into the distance, the paper containing Erwin’s brief gripped in his hand.</p><p>“Mike, I have arrived,” I said in greeting and the man chuckled.</p><p>“You and our Commander really have a way with words. I can’t believe everything on this report happened just a few hours ago.”</p><p>“It’s unbelievable, but it’s true, Mike. Do you have an update on our top suspects?” The discovery of Reiner’s and Bertholdt’s shared history with Annie came up a few days following the expedition. Mike was meant to keep a closer eye on them.</p><p>“No update. They’re bored, confused, and frustrated. Just like all the other suspects.”</p><p>“I see…”  </p><p>“Does this mean we’re back to square one, then?”</p><p>“Not necessarily,” I assured him. “Erwin probably didn’t have the time to write in the brief, but Hanji’s learned a lot from her experiments these past weeks. She’s made plenty of new discoveries about Titans.”</p><p>“Hmm, yes. Erwin mostly wrote about what happened with Zackley.” Finally, Mike turned to look at me.</p><p>“Are you alright, Suzu?”</p><p>“I’m perfectly alright, Mike,” I said, indulging his concern. For a time, it frustrated me that everyone in the Survey Corps, especially the more veteran soldiers, seemed to forget that we had all undergone the same training to become soldiers. They treated me like I was a porcelain doll. Over the years, I learned to gracefully accept their concern and always made sure to reassure them of my well-being. It was nice to be loved by those I held so dearly in my heart.</p><p>Satisfied with my answer, Mike opened his mouth to ask another question but suddenly spun around to look back at the expanse of land beyond the HQ once more. He stuck his nose out and began to sniff.</p><p>“Mike?” asked Nanaba.</p><p>Mike sniffed the air once more and gritted his teeth.</p><p>“Tomas! Take three couriers and go notify each district! <em>Multiple Titans coming from the South! Wall Rose has been breached!</em>”</p><p>I gasped as the Titans that Mike sniffed out finally came into view. Multiple Titans could be seen ambling their way towards us. If there were Titans out there, then what did that say about the suspects in the HQ right now? Were our suspicions wrong?</p><p>Mike continued to call the shots, ordering Nanaba to gather the recruits. There would be no time for them to put on their gear. We immediately had to notify the nearby towns and evacuate them.</p><p>The Titans have breached Wall Rose. Somewhere along the Wall, someone created a break that allowed the Titans through. We didn’t know where and we didn’t know how many Titans have already gotten in. We had to evacuate the civilians at once.</p><p>“Suzuru,” Mike called my attention. “My squad and I will take half the recruits and ride for the towns southward. You take the other half and ride for the towns up north.”</p><p>“Okay, Mike,” I agreed. In the chain of command, the four former members of Squad Erwin were technically the same rank under the Commander. But there was still an agreement among us on who to defer to. Hanji was next in line to become Survey Corps Commander should Erwin fall, and Mike followed after her. Although Levi would claim he listened to no one, he always listened intently to my thoughts when the others weren’t around.</p><p>“There are nine in the swarm ahead,” Mike murmured. </p><p>“We can take them if we need to,” I said, feeling confident in our abilities and in our squads. But the safety of the civilians in the nearby towns and settlements had to come first. Titans were drawn to areas with plenty of people. If the Titans truly had breached Wall Rose, then they would go for the towns first.</p><p>Our priority should be saving the civilians. We would take down any Titans that blocked our path, but we needed to spread the word. During the fall of Wall Maria, many lives were lost due to the lack of communication. Many victims didn’t even know that Wall Maria had been breached until it was too late and they were gobbled up by the monsters. We would not commit the same mistake again.</p><p>“Humanity is not defeated yet,” I said.</p><p>“No, we are not,” Mike agreed. “A person only loses when he stops fighting. As long as we continue to fight, we are not beaten!”</p><p>He gripped my shoulder. “Erwin asked me to keep you safe, but we can’t spare you or your men. Sending you north is the best I can do. Once you evacuate the towns, return to the Commander. Are you hearing me, Suzu?”</p><p>“Okay, Mike, but this isn’t goodbye!” I exclaimed, not liking how final his words sounded. I squeezed the arm holding on to my shoulder. “Watch your back and come back to us!”</p><p>Mike nodded and patted my head affectionately. Then he spun around and leaped down using his gear to help with the preparations. His ability to switch from being a concerned friend to a commanding officer reminded me of Erwin a little too much.</p><p>I shook my head to clear my mind. I needed to find my squad.</p><p>All of them were ready at the stables when I filled them in on the plan. I would ride with the Russo brothers to warn the towns in the northeast while Lili and Jenny, joined by some recruits, did the same for the towns in the northwest. Fortunately, all of us were still in uniform and had our gear handy following the events in Stohess. We were ready to follow Mike’s orders.</p><p>Everyone had tense expressions on their faces. It was a blow to find out that Titans have managed to breach Wall Rose. How many have already perished before we found out? Would we have another repeat of what happened five years ago?</p><p>If I allowed my thoughts to stray further, I would freeze up. I had to be alert for my soldiers and for the people we had to reach. I needed to focus.</p><p>My leg started aching. And it was as if my stomach was flipping inside me.</p><p>For some reason, I was terrified.</p><p>As soon as all the Scouts were saddled onto their horses, Mike ordered us to ride out.</p><p>“When the Titans reach the woods, we’ll split into our groups and scatter in each direction. Avoid fighting the Titans and focus on getting the word out!” Mike assigned Sasha to lead my group traveling north. Connie was tasked with leading the southern groups but requested to be allowed to stop at his village.</p><p>“I know the situation at hand is bleak, especially for those of you without gear,” I said. “But with or without our gear, we are the Survey Corps. Our purpose is to save humanity by defeating the Titans. I’m asking you to fulfill your duty as Survey Corps soldiers. I’m asking you to protect the civilians from the Titans by riding to them as fast as you can. Will you do this, soldiers?”</p><p><em>“Yes, Captain!”</em> A resounding affirmative rang through our group. Nanaba finished off with her own speech, asking everyone to give their all.</p><p>I looked back towards HQ. The Titans have reached the woods.</p><p>“Scatter! Ride as fast as you can!” Mike shouted out the order and we immediately began to break off into our groups.</p><p>Then the Titans started running.</p><p>The Titans were <em>running</em>.</p><p>Confused and desperate cries rang through our group as the Titans inched closer to us, too fast and too soon. The monsters were sprinting towards us. It was similar to how Titans charged into the Forest of Giant Trees when Annie shouted for them. But who called them this time? Why were they running now?</p><p>“Gelgar, you’re in charge of the southern team!” Mike seethed through his teeth and went off course, directing his horse towards the horde of Titans. He was planning to hold them off so we could continue our mission.  </p><p>Mike was strong. He was humanity’s second strongest soldier, just after Levi. But even if Mike was phenomenal at taking down Titans, it was still a tall order for him to take down nine of them. Especially when they were moving that fast. Mike didn’t run off because he knew he could defeat them. He split off to buy us time to get away.</p><p>I refused to run off to safety this time. I would fight by my comrade’s side.</p><p>Mike was strong. And we could be stronger together.</p><p>“Karl!” My second-in-command’s head shot up, and the look in his eyes was already yelling at me not to continue my next order. Karl already knew what I was going to ask of him next. He was begging me not to do it.</p><p>But Squad Suzuru had to follow my orders.</p><p>“You’re in charge of the northern team! I’m going with Mike! Continue the mission, soldiers!”</p><p>“<em>Captain Suzuru!</em>”</p><p>I paid their protests no mind and steered my horse to charge after Mike. I only looked back to ensure no one was disobeying me. </p><p>My squad was going to kill me for this. Mike was going to kill me for this. <em>Erwin</em> was going to kill me for this.</p><p>It was the flipping feeling in my stomach that kept me going. It was tightening, gripping me from the inside. My panic was flaring up. It yelled at me to go to Mike. I had to help him.</p><p>“Suzuru, get away from here!” Mike roared as he took down the closest Titan. I ignored him the same way I ignored the other Scouts and zipped past him. I sliced through the nape of another Titan, using the roof of the HQ to propel me forward. Two down, seven more to go.</p><p>Mike and I worked together to take down the rest of the horde. It was like being back in our Squad Erwin days. I acted as bait, getting close enough to stick my blades into the Titans’ eyes while Mike used the distraction to kill them from behind. If another Titan crept up behind him, I leaped at it and took it down. Rinse and repeat. After a few iterations of this, we had taken down all the nine Titans in the swarm. The battle had destroyed our old HQ, several of the buildings crushed by the taller Titans.</p><p>We would have to deal with that later. Right now, we had to join back with our squads and lead the civilians’ evacuation.</p><p>There was just one problem.</p><p>An Abnormal Titan was trudging past the carnage. It was extremely tall – even taller than the 15 meters that Eren and Annie had in their Titan forms. The Abnormal was also covered in fur, the first time either of us has ever seen the characteristic in the Titan. It was heading for the nearest district, ignoring Mike and me.</p><p>Mike whistled for our horses. While waiting, he turned to me.</p><p>“When our horses are back, we ride after the Abnormal and take it down. I don’t like the look of it,” Mike grumbled, and I nodded in agreement. My stomach clenched at the sight of the Abnormal.</p><p>Neighs sounded from afar and I was relieved to see our horses charging for us. Once we were back on them, Mike and I would take care of the Abnormal and return to our original mission.</p><p>The Abnormal paused for a moment and seemed to consider the horses running past it. That was odd. If it were truly considering the horses, then there were thoughts running through its mind. Thoughts that didn’t even relate to eating humans.</p><p>
  <em>Could it be…? </em>
</p><p>The Titan reached down and scooped up both of our horses in one hand, squeezing them until the animals’ blood burst out. The Abnormal looked directly at me and Mike perched on the roof. The Titan aimed. Mike unsheathed his blades.</p><p>“Titan-shifter!” I exclaimed before Mike and I were immediately crushed and thrown off the roof from the impact of our horses thrown at us.</p><p>A sharp crack sounded from my side. When I came to a few seconds later, I saw a patch of red speedily ringing around Mike’s head. He hit the ground head first.</p><p>The whole earth rumbled with each step the Titan took towards us. I looked up when a shadow was cast over us and found myself staring into the face of a smiling Titan.</p><p>“Oh? Is that one hurt?”</p><p>
  <em>The Titan was talking. </em>
</p><p>The Titan was talking, and he had just asked me a question.</p><p>Somehow, I found my voice.</p><p>“Yes. He hit his head. We fell because you threw our horses at us.”</p><p>“Is that so?” The sound of the Titan laughing was terrifying rather than amusing. It would be etched into my brain forever. “My apologies, young lady.”</p><p>I dared not speak. I dared not move even though I desperately wanted to check on Mike’s condition. The Titan’s stare kept me frozen is place. I was freezing up again. My leg was aching.</p><p>Was I really speaking with a Titan right now?</p><p>“What is that weapon called?” the Titan prodded, looking down at my ODM. I followed suit and looked at my gear. The main flight mechanism got crushed and overbent when we were knocked down. The blade boxes were in a similar condition. My ODM had cushioned my fall.</p><p>“You have blades too. I guess that means you know we reside in the nape,” the Titan added.</p><p>Reside. He said reside!</p><p>I looked back up at the Titan. It was no Abnormal. It was a Titan-shifter.</p><p>“Would you give your gear to me, lady?” he asks as if to be polite. He could very well just take it from me, and I would not be able to fight him.</p><p>But I played along.</p><p>“Will you let us live if I give it to you?”</p><p>The Titan-shifter seemed to be amused by this and chuckled in his eerie way again.</p><p>“Very well. But the lad doesn’t look like he has very long.”</p><p>I unbuckled the belt connected to the flight mechanism portion of my gear and held it out to the Titan-shifter. He gingerly plucked it from my grasp and inspected the equipment with a fond expression on his face.</p><p>“Fascinating.” </p><p>“Why are you doing this?” I asked shakily, not knowing where I found the courage to speak up once more. “Why are you killing us? What have we ever done? What’s the truth?”</p><p>The shifter looked at me the same way an adult looks to a child with too many questions. His Titan-features made it easy to read his expression. His face was so human-like. He looked at me with both pity and amusement.</p><p>“You, little lady, have nothing to be concerned about,” he was chuckling again at his own private joke.</p><p>“Is it because I’m Oriental?” <em>And not a devil?</em></p><p>“<em>Hizuru-jin,</em>” the shifter corrected me. “That’s what you’re called.”</p><p>“There was a land once called Hizuru?” The shifter didn’t answer me and only gave me yet another chilling chuckle.</p><p>
  <em>We are not alone.</em>
</p><p>“Remember this, little lady. There are no devils. Only those who suffer needlessly and those who are the cause of that suffering.”</p><p>The shifter rose from his squatting position, ending our conversation. He stalked away from me and Mike as he inspected my broken gear.</p><p>I felt like I was paralyzed in place. I watched as the shifter’s large form disappeared into the distance. I sat unmoving as the Titan corpses around us dissipated. I didn’t move as the sun moved from its high point in the sky and began its descent.</p><p>“Su…zu…”</p><p>I didn’t feel like I was in control of my body. I felt like I was watching myself move from afar. Somehow, I managed to stand and drag Mike’s battered body along with me as I limped into the main building of HQ. There was a gaping hole in the center of the structure, the Titan’s body that had crushed it long gone by now.</p><p>The supplies were still intact. My movements were mechanical as I patched up Mike to the best of my abilities. Head wounds were the bloodiest, but I felt no breaks in his skull – only a deep wound. Mike had passed out, so he probably had a concussion. I tended to his wounds and waited with his head on my lap and blades at my side.</p><p>I sat and waited as the sun set and the moon rose high in the sky. It was full and bright and allowed me to see into the darkness.</p><p>In the distance, I saw Titans trudging along. If I was truly aware, then maybe I would have questioned why Titans were moving at night.</p><p>But I felt far away from my body. A Titan-shifter had spoken to me. Our short exchange blew away my entire perspective. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I didn’t know how to deal with all the revelations.</p><p>He said I was Hizuru-jin. He also said that there were no devils.</p><p>
  <em>We are not alone. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We are not alone. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We are not alone.</em>
</p><p>“Su…zu…”</p><p>Clouds rolled over and covered the moon. Mike and I were plunged into the darkness.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hours Earlier…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The bells tolled.</p><p>Erwin slammed his fist on the desk, hard enough that it left an indent on the wood and created red marks on his knuckles. The Commander of the Survey Corps was seething, visibly taking deep breaths before speaking.</p><p>“I sent her to Wall Rose. I sent her there and now she has to face the Titans. Might as well have sent her to a slaughterhouse!”</p><p>“Erwin!” Levi cut him off sharply.</p><p>“Suzuru is strong,” Hanji said in a softer tone. “Her actions in Trost and the last expedition proved, that even after all these years, our princess is still capable. She knows how to defend herself against a Titan. And Mike is with her. He’ll protect her with everything he has, just as we all would.”</p><p>“Even with your annoyingly loud voice, you still can’t command Titans. Stop blaming yourself, Eyebrows. You sent her there to keep her safe, but now it’s safe anymore,” Levi said as he stalked over to the front of Erwin’s desk. “We know the situation. We know we have to save the civilians. Save our Scouts. Save your wife, our <em>friend</em>.”</p><p>“So, give us our orders, Commander.”</p><p>The Survey Corps units stationed in Stohess quickly finished preparations to ride out to the Ehrmich District to join forces with the rest of the Corps and the other regiments. There, they would gather all the latest reports coming from Wall Rose and the Commander would decide their next move.</p><p>Hanji and Levi steadfastly supported their Commander, as they always have since their early days as a squad. Hanji quickly packed up all her notes on ongoing experiments and oversaw the preparations on the ground. Levi continued to intimidate their latest captive, Pastor Nick, until the religious leader caved. He and Auruo also kept an eye on the Shiganshina trio. Under theirs and the Commander’s leadership, the Survey Corps moved as one to Ehrmich.</p><p>There, they meet up with the rest of the Corps and soldiers from the other regiments who would be joining them in retaking Wall Rose before humanity lost yet another Wall. If they lost Wall Rose to the Titans, humanity had no hopes of surviving within Wall Sina.</p><p>“Commander Erwin!” Jenny, from Squad Suzu, called as she rode in with two other riders – Lili, and Sasha from the 104<sup>th</sup> Training Corps. They were the first Scouts to arrive from Wall Rose after the initial riders sent by Mike.</p><p>Erwin and his veteran comrades pushed through the curious crowd. He waited patiently as the three riders gulped down the waterskins handed to them. Even their horses were heaving with exertion after their riders forced them back at full speed. Erwin immediately noted that his wife wasn’t with them. He stared at the three until they would grant him answers.</p><p>Jenny pulled away from her drink first and blurted out information, “A swarm of Titans was sighted making their way to the old HQ less than an hour after Squad Suzu’s arrival, Commander. Captain Mike divided us into groups to evacuate the nearby settlements. Squad Mike led the southward groups and Squad Suzu led the northern groups.”</p><p>Lili continued for her, “But the Titans in the swarm started running. They would have reached our group if it weren’t for Captain Mike and Captain Suzu. The two of them faced the Titans so the rest of us could continue towards the towns. When we finished evacuating the northern settlements, the three of us rode here to report. Peter and Karl went back to find our Captain.”</p><p>Jenny and Sasha finished off the report with what they found in the towns. Many of the settlements were left empty and damaged. Sasha battled against one Titan, but her hometown had managed to evacuate on their horses. There were no breaks along the northern side of the Wall. They expected that the break would be in the south.</p><p>They gave Erwin lots of information to digest. After their report, more soldiers arrived to say their piece to the Survey Corps Commander. The Garrison troops stationed at Trost were also putting in the effort to find the break in the Wall. Pastor Nick had revealed one truth. More Scouts who had been in Wall Rose came to give their reports.</p><p>He was starkly aware that they had yet to know the fates of Suzu and Mike. He had no choice but to have faith in the Russo brothers. Karl was arguably the most devoted to Suzu, the first to defend her against would-be abductors. Peter was the laxer of the two brothers but had a cunning to him that aided in battles and politics. Erwin placed his trust in them when he assigned them to Squad Suzu. That trust would be put to the test today. As much as Erwin wanted to take his own steed and find his wife and friend himself, the reports streaming in called him elsewhere.</p><p>Erwin would send his best soldiers to find his wife and his friend. Just as his Scouts trusted him and his cold decisions, he had to trust their abilities to complete the mission. Squad Suzu would find their Captain. Hanji and Levi would find the break in the Wall and find a way to seal it. They would find Historia Reiss and keep her safe until she could share with them the secrets of the Walls and the truth about humanity.</p><p>Erwin needed to meet with Pixis and join their forces. Humanity was set to lose more territory to the Titans. It would take cooperation between the three regiments to ensure that didn’t happen.</p><p>Hanji and Levi were excellent soldiers. They would find the truth and protect those dear to them.</p><p>Erwin had to trust. Erwin had to believe.</p><p>For one moment, he allowed himself to feel the guilt. Guilt over sending his wife to a battlefield. Guilt over allowing her to be in harm’s way when Annie Leonhart tried to escape them. Guilt over letting her traipse about Sina when abductors hung in the shadows. There was more guilt buried deeper – guilt over the soldiers he allowed to die in the name of forwarding humanity’s fight against the Titans. Guilt over the comrades he’s sacrificed to build another base or to resupply an existing one.</p><p>Erwin’s had to make countless difficult decisions over his career as Survey Corps Commander. He made those decisions in the name of humanity and in the name of the truth and in the name of his father. Erwin’s been called cold and heartless. Erwin’s been called a devil. But he still felt guilt. When he didn’t allow the emotion to consume him, that made people believe he didn’t care. But every decision Erwin made was because he cared.</p><p>“Erwin.” It was Levi calling out to him again.</p><p>“Levi,” Erwin acknowledged the shorter man. He and Hanji were set to leave with Survey Corps troops to Utgard Castle, where they predicted the Scouts from the southern groups could have hidden out.</p><p>“We will find Suzu and Mike,” Levi promised.</p><p>“I’ll leave it in your hands.” Levi’s assurance was a balm to Erwin. He knew he was right to put his trust in his men. In his friends.</p><p>“You find us more soldiers, even shitty ones from the Garrison and MP. If the damn Titans really took over Wall Rose, then we’re going to fucking take it back.”</p><p>“That’s the plan, Levi.”</p><p>“Good. Then we’re off. Watch your back, Erwin.”</p><p>“Take care, Levi.”</p><p>“<em>Tch.</em>”</p><p>Levi could be just as private as the Commander about his own emotions. But Erwin knew Levi cared just as deeply as he did. Levi was imploring Erwin to make sure they met again. All of them. The Scouts. The former Squad Erwin. This was not the end. They would all meet again and win over the Titans together.</p><p>The Scouts serving as reinforcements rode away, with Hanji at the command. Among their numbers were Jenny and Lili, who had refused to stay behind. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were aboard a cart. Sasha had also joined the charge. Auruo, who should still be recovering, also rode at his Captain’s side.</p><p>“Medic! Medic!” a familiar voice screeched in the midst of the sound of galloping hooves.</p><p>Peter, another member of Squad Suzu, rode in with a wild look. One of his hands was gripping his horse’s reins while the other was wrapped around the unconscious form of Captain Mike Zacharias.</p><p>Erwin immediately ordered the medics to assist them. He ordered they examine Peter as well, but the soldier had waved them off – only requesting water. Peter drank his fill while saluting the Commander.</p><p>“Sir, I have to report,” Peter said in between gulps and Erwin waited patiently once more. Peter and his brother were the ones who set off to find Suzu and Mike. Peter had only returned with Mike, unaccompanied by Karl and Suzu.</p><p>“We found Captain Suzu and Captain Mike in the old Scout HQ. The castle is thrashed, Commander. They fought at least six Titans there. They seemed to have fallen from a great height – Captain Mike has a deep head wound.”</p><p>“Physically, Captain Suzu is alright. But she was very quiet. We had to ask her questions multiple times to get her to speak. When she did speak, she barely said more than three words. She was at her most lucid when she ordered me to ride back with Captain Mike. We rode off at the same time. She and Karl rode to find the rest of Squad Mike who went south.”</p><p><em>‘Alive. She’s still alive,’ </em>was all Erwin could think. Of course, at this point, it had been hours since Peter had seen Suzu. But Karl would not leave his Captain again. Karl would protect her.</p><p>
  <em>Erwin had to trust. Erwin had to believe. </em>
</p><p>Suzu’s silence that Peter described reminded Erwin of how she was after the fall of Wall Maria. She was the same way when she slowly started rejoining expeditions. There were moments when she froze up. Suzu had admitted to Erwin that she would get lost in her memories. She was at the door of death five years ago when the Titans spilled into Shiganshina. Peter didn’t know what she and Mike had gone through when they broke off to fight the Titans. What memories could the incident have triggered for the Commander’s wife?</p><p>Erwin needed more answers. Mike would ride in the medical cart with him as he made his way to Commander Pixis. Peter would be in charge of watching over Mike in the absence of the Captain’s squad.</p><p>“My brother will protect Captain Suzu,” Peter said to Erwin confidently.</p><p>“You and your brother have my sincerest gratitude,” Erwin replied. “We ride for Trost. Join me and watch over Captain Mike. Find me immediately when he wakes.”</p><p>“Yes, sir!”  </p><p><em>‘Just a little longer, wife,’</em> thought Erwin.</p><p>
  <em>‘Hold on just a little longer. We’ll see each other again.’</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When the Russo brothers found me, they were at the other end of my blade.</p><p>Looking back, I must have been a frightening sight. Wide and crazed eyes, weapon in hand, and Mike on my lap. I was covered in Mike’s dried blood. I had sat with him in my lap for who knows how long? I wouldn’t leave him, but I didn’t know what I was waiting for.</p><p>“Captain…”</p><p>Karl and Peter’s lips were moving, but I didn’t hear what they were asking me. Didn’t I send them away from the Titans? What were they doing here? They needed to get away before the Titans returned.</p><p>“Take Mike,” I said, cutting off whatever it was they were trying to say.</p><p>“There are Titans. Take him. I will find his squad.”</p><p><em>He was hurt because of a talking Titan-shifter</em>, is what I couldn’t bring myself to say. Logically, I knew it would be for the best if I spilled everything to my squad members. They would be able to report back what happened to Erwin. Erwin was good with plans, and he would know how to take down the talking Titan.</p><p>“Peter,” Karl said sharply to his brother. “Go. Bring Captain Mike back to the Commander.”</p><p>Then he turned to me. Karl, my oldest squad member. Karl, who wanted to protect me just like everyone else in my life did.</p><p>Why couldn’t they see everything I did was to protect them? I protected them in Trost, protected them during the expedition, and protected them today when the Titans came swarming in. I protected Mike. Mike would live.</p><p>Why did we always have to fight about this?</p><p>“Let’s find Squad Mike, Captain,” Karl said firmly. He was coming with me.</p><p>“We’re stronger together, Captain. That’s what you always say.”</p><p>I allowed him to lead me away. I allowed him to strap on a new set of ODM on me. I allowed Karl to help me up his horse and ride away from the destruction. Peter rode in the other direction and I stared after them until they were just a speck in the distance. Peter would protect Mike. Mike would live.</p><p>But what if they saw the talking Titan? Where was it now?</p><p>Was the talking Titan there when Wall Maria fell five years ago? Was it there during the attack in Trost? Was it following us from behind during the expedition?</p><p>Did he know Annie? The talking Titan knew about devils but said they didn’t exist. He said we were just poor souls suffering. How could one with such pitying thoughts hurt us like this?</p><p>He stole my gear. He was curious. He was another Titan-shifter – a new one. The fifth we’ve discovered. How many Titan-shifters were there?</p><p>Karl must have tried asking me more questions during the ride, but I was lost in my thoughts. Eventually, he fell quiet. The moon was sinking, and the sky was lightening.</p><p>How was it the Titans were moving in the night?</p><p>Why was it that when we worked harder to search for answers, we just came up with more questions?</p><p>The next time I finally heard what Karl has to say, it’s another surprise.</p><p>“Captain, there are Scouts. They’re riding towards that castle. Let’s join them.” Karl didn’t wait for my response. He pushed his horse to a greater speed, rushing to join with the newly sighted soldiers.</p><p>“Captain Hanji! It’s Squad Suzu!” one of them exclaimed.</p><p>There was a bit of bustle as we were ushered into their formation. I was overjoyed to see Lili and Jenny alive and well. Both Hanji and Levi attempted to speak to me, but I wasn’t hearing a word they were saying.</p><p>Instead, I gripped Hanji by her shirt collar. I could vaguely hear Karl freaking out as half of my body was already leaning off his horse. But Hanji had to know.</p><p>“A Titan talked to me. He was a shifter. He hurt Mike.”</p><p>Hanji screamed and burst with more questions, but I wasn’t hearing them again. Eventually, Levi pried her away and ordered I be dumped into the cart that carried the Shiganshina trio. Karl was the one tasked with briefing the two Captains, but he didn’t have all the answers they craved. I haven’t answered any of his questions either.</p><p>“Captain Suzu!” Eren exclaimed when I joined them.</p><p>I cupped his face in my palms, happy to see him. It was hard to believe I had just seen him a day ago when he was in his Titan-form pummeling the now deceased Annie with punches.</p><p>Goddesses, was that seriously only a day ago?</p><p>“Are you alright, Eren?”</p><p>“Of course!” he exclaimed, sounding baffled, pulling away from my grasp. “I’m fine, Captain! It’s you we’re worried about!”</p><p>“What happened to you, Captain?” Armin jumped in.</p><p>“You’re covered in blood…” Mikasa observed, eyeing my uniform with concern.</p><p>“A Titan spoke to me,” I said it in a hushed whisper, but that admission sent Eren roaring. Armin and Mikasa gaped at me with wide eyes and it took a sharp order from Levi to get Eren to calm down. We were closer to the castle now and could finally see that it was swarming with Titans.</p><p>“Advance!!!” Hanji cried out, ordering the Scouts to take down the multiple Titans that have gathered in the ruins of the castle. The Scouts simultaneously flew into the air and charged towards their targets. As we rode closer, I could see there were a few figures running across the rubble. It was Krista, Connie, Reiner, and Bertholdt. Thank the goddesses they were still alive.</p><p>“Stay in the cart, Captain!” Karl called out to me, before leaping off his horse to attack. Auruo gave the same order to Eren, but the boy ignored him and leaped up along with the rest of the soldiers.</p><p>I took over controlling the horses that pulled the cart and sat back as the Scouts did what they did best: killing Titans.</p><p>Levi and Mikasa were both taking down what had to be a record number of Titans in single sweeps. Even Eren managed to get a kill before he was ordered back. I met him halfway as he ambled back towards the cart, three of the recruits following him.</p><p>“Everyone, you’re alright!” I exclaimed when I saw them.</p><p>“Captain Suzu!” Connie gasped. “What happened when you and Captain Mike fought off the Titans?”</p><p>I ignored Connie’s question and ushered the four back into the cart. Most of the Titans were swiftly taken down and I felt a swell of pride for the Survey Corps.</p><p>I drove the cart as close as I could get to where the others were gathering. What I saw made me gasp.</p><p>“She’s a Titan,” Connie murmured as we all gazed a Ymir’s unconscious and steaming body. She was missing an arm and leg on her right side, and someone (probably Krista), had tried to stop the blood from spilling out. A chunk from Ymir’s stomach was missing and she had the telltale Titan marks surrounding her eyes.</p><p>The first and second Titan shifters we discovered were the Armored Titan and Colossal Titan. They destroyed Shiganshina’s gate and that marked the darkest day for humanity. We still didn’t know their identities. Third, Eren discovered his own Titan ability in Trost. Fourth, Annie as the Female Titan attacked us during the expedition. The fifth Titan-shifter I discovered was the furry and talking Titan. And finally, we have our sixth. Ymir.</p><p>How many Titan-shifters were there? And why were they hiding among us?</p><p>“My name is Historia,” Krista admitted to her lover. Although her words were meant only for Ymir, we all heard it. Jenny caught my eye and all I could do was nod to her. When would we have the time to confront Krista about her true identity?</p><p>The boys made room so that Ymir could be laid down in the cart. Krista joined me and shot me a quick smile, but her complete attention was devoted to Ymir. I held back my questions for the blonde girl and instead assisted in dressing Ymir’s wounds. If the girl wasn’t a Titan-shifter, then her injuries should have killed her by now. Thanks to Hanji’s experiments on Annie, we knew a few tricks to help ease the healing process.</p><p>The mood was somber when Hanji ordered the Scouts to turn back and ride for the Wall. Connie had briefed Hanji on the southern group’s findings. There was no break in the Wall. They didn’t know where the Titans could have come from. Squad Mike was dead. Connie’s village had been decimated, but there was no trace of humans left behind. Only a single Titan had been in Connie’s hometown and he had a preposterous theory about it. Hanji assigned Moblit to investigate this further later on. For now, we had to return to the Wall and regroup. We would try to contact Erwin or any of the other regiments that also had their own operations to find the break in Wall Rose.</p><p>I wept for the soldiers in Squad Mike. Nanaba. Gelgar. Lynne. Henning. All perished at the face of too many Titans. Mike was still alive, and so was Tomas who had ridden back to give the first report of the Titans’ breach in Wall Rose. But there was no hole in the wall. The Titans we encountered were strange but few.</p><p>Why did they have to die?</p><p>
  <em>Why are you killing us? What have we ever done? What’s the truth?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You, little lady, have nothing to worry about. </em>
</p><p>When we were atop the Wall, I pulled Hanji and Levi aside and finally gave them a recount of my experience with the talking Titan-shifter. Hanji wrote everything down, word per word and Levi was seething with fury. We suspected the Titan-shifter had somehow called the Titans into Wall Rose, similar to how Annie had done it during the expedition. But there was still a question of how he managed to do it without causing any damage to the Walls or gates. How did he get the Titans in here?</p><p>The rain poured heavily, matching our somber mood. Hanji broke away to speak with Krista, but not without swearing to me that we would continue our conversation. Levi and I stood together and watched everyone get themselves and the supplies up the Wall.</p><p>“The fucker was really over 15 meters tall?” Levi asked.</p><p>“At least 17 meters. Fur all over its body. Nothing like I’ve ever seen before.” Its face was burned in my memory. The sound of his chuckles would haunt me in my nightmares. The talking Titan was a beastly thing to behold. I hoped I would never see it again, but I knew that would be a foolish wish.</p><p>“That Connie brat reported a similar Abnormal.”</p><p>“It was no Abnormal. It probably led those Titans to the castle. It threw things at them too, just like how it threw our horses at me and Mike.”</p><p>“<em>Tch.</em>”</p><p>If Levi had been with us, perhaps we could have stood a fighting chance. The shifter had been amused enough with talking to me. I could have distracted it while Levi tore out the human from within.</p><p>“I have a feeling we’ll see him again.”</p><p>“And I will cut him to pieces,” Levi seethed. “I’ll cut all of them to pieces if I have to.”</p><p>Levi shot a dark look at Ymir. He was not happy with the girl. She had a lot to answer for when she woke up. The sight of Krista fervently defending her still put a smile on my face.</p><p>“She saved them. Maybe she’s on our side, like Eren.”</p><p>“No, she’s only on <em>Historia’s</em> side,” Levi spat out Krista’s true name. I could tell he was getting fed up with all the revelations coming to light. Levi liked to have a target to fight against. But now, we still didn’t know who the true enemy was and why we were being killed.</p><p>Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the Advance Garrison Squad. Hannes, a Garrison soldier, was their leader. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin seemed to recognize him. Apparently, he was a soldier assigned to Shiganshina before the fall.</p><p>“There’s no hole anywhere!” Hannes declared. Although Mike’s squad had confirmed that for themselves before their deaths, the Garrison soldiers must have scoped out a wider region of Wall Rose. They searched all night from Krolva to Trost. And they still didn’t find any breakage. They didn’t even encounter any Titans.</p><p>With that, Hanji decided that our next move would be to return to Trost so we could regroup with Erwin and Commander Pixis. The Garrison soldiers went ahead. Although I was jittery to see my husband again, I couldn’t get rid of the twisting feeling that occurred in my stomach once more. Why didn’t we find any breaks in the Wall? If the shifter was the one who called them, how did the Titans get through?</p><p>Connie had said that the single Titan in his village had been trapped in his childhood home. And that Titan looked too similar to his mother.</p><p>What were the Titans? What was the truth?</p><p>Hanji ordered the Scouts to finish all preparations to move out. We began to trudge back to the lifts so we could make our way back to our horses. But Jenny’s voice called out to me. She, along with my other squad members, had stopped walking.</p><p>“Captain!”</p><p>Hanji, Levi, and I all turned at the sound of her wary call. Even Auruo, Moblit, and the rest of the 104<sup>th</sup> Cadets had turned to look back at where Eren was hanging back with Reiner and Bertholdt. What were they lagging back for?</p><p>“Oi─”</p><p>Levi’s reprimand was cut off by Reiner’s intense words.</p><p>“If only I never knew that there were people like this. I wouldn’t have become such a half-passed piece of shit!”</p><p>Reiner was removing the sling that cased his broken arm that had been chewed on by a Titan. Levi had his hand on his sword.  </p><p>Steam seeped out Reiner’s wound. He was healing himself.</p><p>Just like a Titan-shifter.</p><p>“Reiner! Are we doing it now – right here?!” Bertholdt yelled at his friend.</p><p>“Yes. We settle this right here and right now!”</p><p>Mikasa was closer and she slashed at both Reiner and Bertholdt with her blades and told Eren to run. Her cuts didn’t kill them. Levi was sprinting, but it was already too late.</p><p>The flashes of lightning blinded us. Two Titan-shifters were transforming at once.</p><p>“Eren! Get out of there!”</p><p>The extremely hot steam pooling out of the Colossal Titan knocked me back into Levi. He threw me to one of my squad members and attempted to trudge forward. The Colossal had grabbed Ymir while the Armored had grabbed Eren.</p><p>We were face-to-face with Armored Titan and Colossal Titan – the perpetrators of the Fall of Shiganshina. We found our traitors right here in the Survey Corps.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that was the first few episodes of S2! I knew from the start that I really wanted Mike to live through meeting the Beast Titan. The timeline of the second season is honestly like...2-3 days so I'm not sure if I'll even be able to stretch this fic's coverage of that into three chapters. We shall see! </p><p>This chapter got quite long, I'm wondering if anyone can even stand to read it haha! I worked on this for like 2 days. I'm having lots of fun dedicating my weekends to this fic. Feel free to let me know if you preferred the length of the older chapters or are more excited about longer chapters. </p><p>ALSO - for any manga readers (no spoilers, don't worry) - Ch. 139 tho!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAH! I see many mixed feelings about SNK's ending but I was mostly like "aw". If you read it too, let me know what you think!  </p><p>Thanks for reading! &lt;3 See you next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. 6.2 - Wall Rose, Part Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Heat overwhelmed my senses. Every spot my skin touched was steaming and pulsating. The textures I could feel around me made me shudder. Everything was steaming hot but also inexplicably wet. Every breath I took allowed the heat to overtake my body, to the point where I could feel the pins and needles of steam sitting on my tongue. It was a struggle to keep my eyes open. A thick and gooey substance covered my entire body. Whenever I managed to crack an eye open, all I could see was red.</p><p>Questions swirled in my mind. I tried desperately to keep one line of thought, but it tired me out. Where was I? Why was everything hot and wet at the same time? Why couldn’t I focus?</p><p>I struggled to keep awake and to make sense of what happened. The events that transpired in the last minute were worth centuries of revelations. But for some reason, I felt extremely groggy. Just a moment ago, I felt alert and fearful because Reiner and Bertholdt had just revealed themselves as Titan shifters. They were the Armored and Colossal Titans who were responsible for the fall of Wall Maria five years ago.</p><p>What happened after? Why was it so hot?</p><p>I tried taking a deep breath and realized my mistake quickly. The heat suffocated me and crawled like insects beneath my skin. If I didn’t fight it, I would pass out.</p><p><em>Focus</em>. I had to focus.</p><p>What happened first? Reiner and Bertholdt shifted into their Titan forms.</p><p>The explosion following Bertholdt’s explosion threw us back. Reiner leaped off the Wall with Eren in his arms. There was another flash of light. That meant Eren also transformed.</p><p>I was sure it was Eren who transformed and not Ymir because Ymir was right next to me. We were both in the Colossal Titan’s mouth.</p><p>
  <em>Right.</em>
</p><p>A sinewy arm and then everything was just overwhelming heat. While the Scouts were still recovering from the shock of the reveal and the explosion, Bertholdt had swiped an unconscious Ymir into his palm. Then he plucked me out of Lili’s hold. For a moment, I was in the air. One second later, all I knew was heat.</p><p>I was in Bertholdt’s mouth.</p><p>There were more sounds coming from outside – surely Eren and Reiner were fighting right now. The Scouts would waste no time gathering their bearings and supporting the one Titan-shifter fighting for humanity. There were roars and shouts, but they all sounded muffled in my ears.</p><p>I didn’t get it. Why would Berthold take me?</p><p>Ymir was easy to understand. She was a Titan-shifter and completely vulnerable in her unconscious and healing state. She was an opportunity served to the two shifters on a silver platter. Perhaps Reiner and Bertholdt intended to take her back to wherever it was they came from. The background check we ran on them weeks ago found that the two of them, plus Annie, hailed from a forest settlement in Wall Maria. The fall of Wall Maria five years ago also resulted in a severe lack of complete documentation for Wall Marians. The three of them could have easily forged their histories. No one would question Wall Maria refugees about their hometown.</p><p>But what could be their reason for taking me? The beastly talking Titan said I was <em>Hizuru-jin</em>. That meant my bloodline came from another land. Of course, our history books tell us that people from all over the world rushed to the safety of the Walls before the Titans overtook. The Oriental Clan’s numbers got fewer and fewer as generations passed. Orientals have been outcasts within the Walls for most of humanity’s time here.</p><p>Did the Titan-shifters intend to bring me to the land called Hizuru? A land that, by all remaining accounts, should be ravaged by Titans. Wall Maria fell. Humanity only has Wall Rose and Sina left. Where were they intending to go?</p><p>What is the truth?</p><p>
  <em>We are not alone. </em>
</p><p>My father bestowed that one Truth to his children. Erwin’s father proposed an idea. What if the history we knew was wrong? What if my father’s Truth was reality and humanity in the Walls isn’t the last? Was that the meaning of his words?</p><p>I would not find answers in Bertholdt’s Titan-mouth. I had to find his vulnerabilities from the inside. I still had my gear and my blades. If I stuck a sword through the back of his throat, would I find Bertholdt’s human body?</p><p>Rising from the gooey liquid that covered my body was slow-going. Every time I moved, it seemed to stick to me even tighter. The liquid pinned me down on what could be Bertholdt’s tongue. But once I freed one arm, I was able to pry most of the liquid off me.</p><p>I crawled to Ymir’s unconscious form. She was also covered in the strange sticky substance. She was still missing half of her limbs, the steam rising from the stumps of her wounds added to the heat surrounding us. The Titan marks on her face and body were still bright red. It was taking her a long time to heal. I had to figure out how to escape from Bertholdt and save Ymir.</p><p>“Bertholdt…what have you done?” I asked out loud. My parched voice echoed through Bertholdt’s mouth as if I was in a cave. Was cutting through Bertholdt’s throat the only option I had left? There was no movement that showed that he heard what I said. I needed to get a reaction out of him and confirm if he could hear me. If he had any inkling of what I had planned, Bertholdt could simply swallow and dump me in the acid of his Titan-stomach.</p><p>I knew I was only alive because Bertholdt intended for it to be so.</p><p>“Are you and Reiner trying to get away?”</p><p>No response.</p><p>“Where are you taking Eren? Ymir? Why are you taking me too?”</p><p>More silence. Why was it so hot?</p><p>
  <em>Focus!</em>
</p><p>“You and Reiner almost killed me the day you broke into Shiganshina. A part of the gate crushed my leg. It’s your fault, Bertholdt. You let the Titans in.”</p><p>Hot. It was so hot. It was getting harder to talk.</p><p>“You were there. Reiner was there too…I remember. Annie. What about Annie? Was she there that day? Were you…were you with her when she killed Marco? Are you leaving her behind? She’s always…was always…asking for you…”</p><p>A gush of wind suddenly came from behind me. I nearly toppled over. I could have slipped down Bertholdt’s throat. He had opened his mouth, and everything was too loud.</p><p>There was screaming. It was a guttural scream – a Titan scream. It sounded the same as Annie’s scream during the expedition. It was a scream of desperation. Were they trying to call more Titans?</p><p>I hauled myself to the front of Bertholdt’s mouth, where his lower teeth lied. The scream was not coming from him but from the bottom of the Wall. Was it Reiner who was screaming?</p><p>I locked gazes with Nifa who standing several meters away from the Colossal Titan. She was a Scout in Squad Hanji. She looked at me with horror and shock written across her face. Did everyone think Bertholdt had eaten me? Why was she looking at me like that?</p><p>And then the world tilted.</p><p>Wind rushed upon me from below, and I was suddenly thrown to the side of Bertholdt’s mouth. Ymir was stuck in place thanks to the gooey liquid that covered her.</p><p>The ground at the bottom of the Wall was getting closer. Extremely hot steam burned any skin I had exposed. It was a mistake to break free from the liquid that held me down. Bertholdt had thrown himself off the Wall. We were diving down where Reiner’s and Eren’s Titans lied.</p><p>The impact could kill me.</p><p>“<em>HANJI!!!!! LEVI!!!!! Help me!!!!!!!!!!!”</em></p><p>I screeched even though it burned my throat. Hot air filled my lungs and my chest and my entire body, but I kept screaming, begging for my friends to save me. The ground kept getting closer, but no one swung in to rescue me.</p><p>I lived through the first time Bertholdt and Reiner tried to kill me. They crushed my leg, but they didn’t crush my will to live. Now, it was like they were trying to finish the job. They were making sure I had no way to escape.</p><p>Did they single me out because I was different? The way abductors from the Underground found me different so they tried to kidnap me and sell me off to the highest bidder?</p><p>Why? Why did it have to end like this?</p><p>
  <em>Erwin…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry…</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>CRASH!</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Hisssssssssssssssss……………</em>
</p><p>The world I open my eyes to is brighter than the inside of the Colossal Titan’s mouth. Smoke and steam rose all around me, aggravating the burns that covered my arms and cheeks. But I could see the blue sky even though my eyes felt like they were flickering. I saw black and sometimes I saw blue. Bright, bright blue.</p><p>
  <em>Like his eyes.</em>
</p><p>I heard more than I saw. I heard the Armored Titan clamp his mouth down on something slick. The sound of steam followed, and I knew for sure that Reiner had taken Eren straight out of his Titan nape.</p><p>Movement. There was movement off to the side. The sound was familiar. Many times, I have observed Eren exit his Titan. Levi pushed him hard to make sure Eren could make at least three transformations without tiring. But the last time I saw Eren, he was lying with Reiner in a tight hold. They had surely traded blows. The Armored Titan would have been a tougher opponent than a battered and disproportional Female Titan. Were Levi’s lessons enough to ensure Eren’s victory?</p><p>My answer came to me in the form of a weeping Bertholdt Hoover with tell-tale Titan marks around his eyes and a passed-out Ymir in his arms.</p><p>“Come with us,” Bertholdt blurted out. His body visibly shook with every sob he attempted to stifle. He was barely holding it together.</p><p>“Please, Captain Suzu. You can still be saved. Your home would still accept you, even if you have slept with the devil.”</p><p>Instead of answering him, I pondered on his words. Annie had said something similar before. She laughed hysterically when she found out I was married to Erwin. She also said I could have been saved. What did this mean?</p><p>“Come with us,” he begged me.</p><p>I couldn’t bring myself to move, my burns were too painful. Bertholdt had the strength to get out of his Titan and lift Ymir in his arms, but he couldn’t lift me too. He made his choice. We both knew all of these, and still, he asked me to join him.</p><p>“Why are you trying to kill us?” I asked him instead.</p><p>Bertholdt continued to weep, “Because we had no choice.”</p><p>I wanted to hold him. I wanted to engulf him in my arms and let him cry on my shoulder. Bertholdt and Reiner were the traitors we’ve been searching for since the Battle of Trost, but they were also my Scouts. I welcomed them into my heart the day they swore themselves to the Survey Corps. If they asked me for another chance, I would give it without question. Bertholdt was my tall and sweaty child who didn’t talk much but was always thoughtful. Reiner was the child who looked out for all the others. Them being the traitors was always a possibility I accepted, but I still couldn’t bring myself to hate them.</p><p>I cried too. I always wept when I was unable to bring a Scout home.</p><p>Bertholdt looked so broken. He looked tired and worn down. He was deflated from all the lying he had to do for the past five years. All the treachery and hidden agendas he had to keep out of sight were threatening to burst from within. I still didn’t know what their true intentions were, but my heart still yearned to comfort this crying Scout.</p><p>“I can help you…don’t take Eren away,” I begged. Bertholdt yelled at me and it was the first time I witnessed him being so expressive. I couldn’t make out the words he was saying. But his jaw was clenched and he was red-faced and he was so, so lost.</p><p>Another child I failed to bring home.</p><p>Bertholdt whirled away, using his ODM gear to fly him up to Reiner’s retreating Titan-form.</p><p>I lost Eren. I lost Ymir. I lost Bertholdt. I lost Reiner.</p><p>I lost my Scouts.</p><p>I cried for my lost children. I cried for the failure the Scouts experienced today. I cried for the pain the engulfed every part of my body. Smoke rose all around me, and all I could do was cry.</p><p>Pathetic. I was a pathetic Scout. A pathetic soldier. I should have died the day Bertholdt broke the gate in Shiganshina. I should have been eaten by a Titan. Why did I fight so much to live when I couldn’t save my Scouts?</p><p>
  <em>“Cap….zu…!” </em>
</p><p>My head felt heavy when I rolled it to the side to see who was coming. A figure was climbing through the dissipating carcass of the Colossal Titan. It wasn’t as hot as it had been a few minutes ago. Give it a bit more time, and all evidence that there had been Titans here would disappear.</p><p>“Captain Suzuru!” a voice shrieked at me.</p><p>Blue. I was seeing blue.</p><p>
  <em>Was he here? </em>
</p><p>“Captain Suzuru!” the voice exclaimed again.</p><p>“Er…win…?”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The next time I opened my eyes, I saw my savior chewing on his rations next to Mikasa. Both had misdirected looks of determination on their faces as they consumed their food.</p><p>“Oh, are you finally with us, Captain Suzuru?”</p><p>I turned my head to find the speaker. It was the Garrison soldier named Hannes – the one who knew the Shiganshina trio from before. Mikasa’s hand gripped mine, a silent but steady show of support. Armin, on the other hand, fussed over me and fired questions. He asked if I was alright but gave me no time to respond as he leaped up to find my squad.</p><p>“What happened?” I managed to croak out.</p><p>“Reiner and Bertholdt took Eren. And Ymir,” Mikasa said with a dark look on her face. It was the same rage she had discovered it was Annie who attempted to capture Eren during the expedition. I know that Mikasa and Eren were childhood friends. Eren had even saved Mikasa from the kidnappers who killed her parents. But Mikasa’s devotion to him was unnatural. It reminded me of someone, but my mind felt too mushy for me to try to figure it out any further.</p><p>“The others said they thought you were eaten by the Colossal,” Hannes added. “How did you survive?”</p><p>“Bertholdt didn’t intend to eat me. If that’s what he wanted, I would have already been dead,” I said. If possible, Mikasa’s fury increased with the mention of the name of one of Eren’s captors.</p><p>“So, the Armored Titan probably wouldn’t have eaten Eren?” Hannes asked, concern seeping into his tone.</p><p>I shook my head. I didn’t think Reiner would eat Eren either. “They need him for something. I don’t think they would kill him off like that.”</p><p>“Why did they take Eren?!” Mikasa exploded, fury lacing every syllable. Hannes instructed her to focus on eating her rations again.</p><p>“What happened to my squad? To Hanji and Levi?”</p><p>“Captain!” Jenny’s voice cried out from behind me. I sat up so I could pull her into a hug. Tears sprung at the corner of my eyes, but I was relieved when she informed me that Lili and Karl were also okay, just passed out with minor burns similar to mine.</p><p>I ordered her to help me up so I could check on Hanji and Levi, declining when Jenny tried to insist I take more rest. Everyone was exhausted, but we couldn’t afford to waste any more time. According to Mikasa, Reiner and Bertholdt’s escape had been five hours ago. We needed to plan our next move.</p><p>When I found Hanji, she was passed out. The burns across her face and arms quite severe, and even her legs were bandaged. Nifa informed me that Hanji had been very close to the explosion when Bertholdt crashed into Eren and Reiner. She, and several other Scouts, received burns across their bodies.</p><p>Even if we gathered the able-bodied Scouts to go after the traitors, we wouldn’t be enough to save Eren. Our horses were on the wrong side of the Wall and our gas tanks would not last long enough to chase them on ODM. Going after them in our current state would be suicide.</p><p>“Suzuru.”</p><p>Levi came up behind me. He also had burns on his skin, but they were minor and less serious than mine or Hanji’s. I threw myself in Levi’s arms and hugged him to me tightly for a few seconds. I grinned when I felt him holding me just as strongly.</p><p>“We heard you calling for us,” Levi whispered in my ear, away from earshot of the other soldiers that mingled around. “Hanji and I heard you, Suzuru. I’m sorry.”  </p><p>
  <em>HANJI!!!!! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>LEVI!!!!! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Help me!!!!!!!!!!!</em>
</p><p>I couldn’t stop an unbidden shudder from rocking me and that made Levi hold me tighter, repeating his apologies.</p><p>“It’s okay, Levi. I was in the Colossal’s mouth. There was nothing you could do.”</p><p>“I could have saved you,” Levi shook his head and we finally pulled away from each other. He leveled me with a serious look.</p><p>“The next time you call for me – I’ll be there. If you’re in trouble, Suzu, you call for me. I’ll save you.”</p><p>“I will. Promise me you’ll call me when you need help too?”</p><p>Levi didn’t respond and only quirked his lips at me. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier rarely needed help on the battlefield. Usually, he was the one conducting rescues. The weight of that title was a heavy burden to carry on one’s soldiers. It wouldn’t hurt to remind Levi that he had a support system. I was already often teased for babying my Scouts. Levi would be no exception from my care, no matter how much of a strong front he tried to put up. There were so few of us left from before the Fall of Shiganshina. Many of our former comrades died because of Titans. The tight-knit circle that Erwin trusted kept getting smaller with every expedition. If we weren’t there for each other, then who else would be?</p><p>Moblit came running to us with a rundown of our current status. Many of the Scouts here were recovering well. The outlook was looking better than it was five hours ago. A few soldiers had injuries that needed to be tended to in the infirmary. Our numbers were still too few to organize an operation to take back Eren and Ymir. Even with Levi among us, it was still too risky to verge into Wall Maria with minimal supplies and few horses. Moblit had already sent riders to inform the Commander of the situation, so the best we could do was wait. Levi was not happy with that.</p><p>Luckily for him, the sound of running hooves was approaching. The Survey Corps Commander had arrived to lead the charge to take back Eren, and he had brought reinforcements. Among the Scouts were soldiers from the Garrison and even the Military Police. They had ridden along the Walls from Trost to get to us in record time. They carried with them plenty of supplies, enough for a whole expedition. Erwin had gone all out for this operation.</p><p>“Oi, those of you who can still fight – gear up,” Levi ordered the soldiers.</p><p>I waited for Erwin at the front of the recovering Scouts, unable to keep the smile off my face. It warmed my heart to see that my husband had a similar look on his own.</p><p>“Suzuru,” Erwin whispered fervently when he reached me, pressing a kiss to my knuckles as if I was a member of the Nobility. With one word, he was able to express so much emotion. I could tell he had been worried for me. Goddesses know what the riders had to say about my status when I ran off with Mike to face the talking Titan. I didn’t pity my squad member, Peter, who had to face the Commander upon returning without me. But I was assured of his safety when I spotted him among Erwin’s reinforcements.</p><p>Overall, I could see that Erwin was relieved and happy to see me standing. There was a lot to tell him. I didn’t even know where to begin.</p><p>“The situation is still the same?” he asked, taking charge of the conversation.</p><p>“Yes, the Scouts who are still able to fight have just recovered. The Armored and Colossal Titans have taken Eren. And Ymir. We’re behind by at least five hours. What are your orders, Erwin?”</p><p>Whatever his reply was going to be was interrupted by an exclamation from Moblit.</p><p>
  <em>“Captain Hanji!” </em>
</p><p>My eyes widened at the sight of Hanji crawling over to me and Erwin. Levi followed a few steps behind her, a disgusted scowl on his face.</p><p>“If Hanji isn’t down for the count yet, then I’m not staying back either,” another voice joined in. If possible, my eyes grew even wider.</p><p>“Mike!” I exclaimed and ran over to him, gripping his arms. I quickly scanned him. He had a bandage wrapped around his head and was taking long and heavy breaths. He should still be recovering! Why did Erwin bring him here?</p><p>“I caught our Commander up to speed,” Mike said with a smirk as if hearing my inner turmoil. “There are still many questions we need answers to. If there’s any chance that hairy bastard is going to show up, then I’m going to be there. You can’t stop me, Princess.”</p><p>I sighed and bit back my protests. That made Mike chuckle and he wrapped an arm around me, leaning into me. We both held on to each other for support as Hanji explained her plan, pointing out another forest of Giant Trees on the map Moblit provided. She predicted that Reiner and Bertholdt would use the forest as a rest stop. It was also likely they would wait out the rest of the day there, and resume traveling in the nighttime when the Titans weren’t active (if that was still even true). Even though we had lost the battle against them, the Scouts and Eren still dealt a heavy blow against the two Titan-shifters. No matter how powerful and formidable the two were, they were still part human. They would also need time to recover.</p><p>Like always, it was a gamble. Just how Erwin liked it.</p><p>While the lifts transferred the horses to the other side of the Wall and the rest of the soldiers went about preparations, Squad Erwin gathered to discuss our next moves. Squad Hanji would stay back – partly to maintain Survey Corps presence within the walls, and the other part because Hanji was in no condition to pursue Eren. I made sure to give her another blow-by-blow account of my conversation with Bertholdt before he escaped with Eren and Ymir on Reiner. Hanji’s eyes shined with an intense curiosity, but her usual energy was curbed due to her injuries.</p><p>Squad Hanji was also in charge of investigating Connie’s claim about the Titan in his village. That was another part of the revelations we didn’t have the time to think about. Erwin wanted to make sure that no stone was left unturned.</p><p>The rest of us, including Erwin’s Garrison and MP reinforcements, would ride for the forest. We had to get there before night fell. Erwin was confident his long-distance formation would allow us to catch up in time. Levi’s main task was to take back Eren. Erwin ordered that we choose to kill Reiner and Bertholdt if that would mean we could take back Eren and possibly Ymir. Mike would be supporting Erwin in leading the Scouts, while my squad and I would be in charge of leading the Garrison and MP squads.</p><p>“You’re talented at ensuring our soldiers make it out alive,” Erwin quipped and the other three even let out a little chuckle of their own at that. Erwin, Levi, and Mike would all choose to sacrifice the Garrison and MP soldiers if it meant we could take one step closer to reaching our goal. I would do the same as a last resort, but I was usually the only one who considered other options. (Hanji would probably just annoy them far enough that they would abort the mission.)</p><p>“Huh? We’re babysitting?” Lili whined when I finished briefing my squad. Peter kicked her leg to get her to shut up, while Karl merely rolled his eyes. Jenny immediately scanned the faces of the MPs we would be leading, surely going through a mental list of the dirt she had on them.</p><p>It was good to be back with my squad again and to have everyone on the same page. In our last few operations, I always forced them to leave me behind. With my current state, that was not an option. All of them would refuse if I gave them the order to leave me behind.</p><p>I found Mikasa already on her horse even though it was still too soon to set out. She kept her gaze forward. Her eyes were fixed permanently as a glare as she looked out at Wall Maria. I knew she was thinking of Eren and how she failed to save him earlier.</p><p>“We’ll get Eren back,” I said as I came up to her. She nodded at me once and then returned to facing forward.</p><p>“Erwin won’t allow us to lose him,” I tried again. I knew Mikasa needed to relax. If she was too tense, then she would be prone to making mistakes. Although, that was hard to imagine given how excellent of a soldier she was. But with Eren taken away, her thinking was compromised.</p><p>“I won’t allow them to take Eren away from me!” Mikasa swore.</p><p>“We’re with you, Mika-chan,” I said, pressing my palm over her balled-up hand until she relaxed it. “Armin is with you. Your classmates are with you. The whole Survey Corps is with you. We will get Eren back, so you must work with us. Can you do that?”</p><p>She ducked her eyes down and took a deep breath. Then she gave me a single and final nod.</p><p>
  <em>“Hai, Suzu-san.”</em>
</p><p>I gave her hand another squeeze and shot a smile at Armin and Hannes, who were giving me grateful looks.</p><p>Erwin stood next to me as we waited for the final horses and supplies to be unloaded. In a few minutes, we would be setting off after Eren, Ymir, and their captors. We would take back the loyal Titan-shifters and subdue the ones who would oppose us – whether that would mean death or capture would be up to them. Humanity couldn’t afford to settle for any less.</p><p>“Suzu. You’ve been quiet,” Erwin observed. “Peter reported how you reacted when they found you in the Old Scout Headquarters. Are you really intent on joining us?”</p><p>I knew Erwin couldn’t help but try to convince me to stay back with Hanji. He would prefer I investigate a Titan who couldn’t even lift itself rather than throw myself back into Wall Maria after everything that’s happened. Honestly, I wanted him to stay back too. The Commander of the Survey Corps was too important to lose. This was not a well-planned and prepared expedition. This was an emergency operation to make sure humanity didn’t lose its biggest advantage. So many things could go wrong. So many more lives could be lost.</p><p>“The hairy Titan-shifter that Mike reported about – he wouldn’t remember this, but that Titan <em>talked</em> to me,” I said. Erwin was surprised with that bit of information but kept quiet. He wanted to hear more. “He took my ODM gear in exchange for our lives. He was toying with me because he could have taken my gear and killed us both anyway.”</p><p>“You should review Hanji’s notes later. But I asked him what the truth was, and he had this to say: <em>There are no devils. Only those who suffer needlessly and those who are the cause of that suffering.</em>”</p><p>“What if this is what my father’s Truth means, Erwin? Maybe the history they taught us was wrong. What if humanity in the Walls is not the last of humanity? Bertholdt tried to ask me to join them. He said my homeland would still accept me. That means there are still civilizations…beyond the Walls.”</p><p>Erwin did not speak for a few minutes. Instead, he looked forward to the expanse of the land of Wall Maria. If we ignored the looming Wall right behind us, we could pretend there was nothing but horizon moving forward. An undiscovered land waiting to be found and explored. A world without Titans. A world where we could be free to seek out the truth.</p><p>“I wish my father could have met you,” Erwin said to me, grabbing my hand again so he could place another kiss there.  </p><p>“More than anything, I want to find the truth with you. The first step towards that is getting Eren back. Then we must get whatever information we can from the traitors. One thing I can say for sure: humanity in the Walls cannot move forward without Eren Jaeger.”</p><p>“I’m with you, Erwin. Always.”</p><p>Erwin silently responded by squeezing my hand. Truly, I would follow this man anywhere. I knew that since the day I told him my Truth.</p><p>Christophe, a Scout from Erwin’s Command Squad, came up to us and reported all preparations were completed. Erwin nodded once at me before rushing to take his place at the front of the troops. Karl fetched me and assisted me onto my horse. Squad Suzu would be leading the Garrison and MP squads from the right-wing.</p><p>“Remember, let’s do our best to keep them alive,” I said as my final order to my squad before Erwin ordered us to ride out.</p><p>We had our hands full with handling the non-Scout squads and making sure they maintained formation in the face of all the Titans. For many of these soldiers, this was their first time encountering Titans. Lili hurled insults at the soldiers who panicked while Karl reminded others not to get too cocky and attempt to take a Titan down. Jenny and Peter maintained a steady stream of smoke signals. Erwin would not be swayed into changing course despite the number of Titans we were encountering. We had to take the shortest path to Eren. Somehow, I had to keep these soldiers alive.</p><p>“Right-wing, move into the center! Away from the Titans!” I screamed out my order, and the shaking messengers passed it along the ranks.</p><p>The red smoke signals kept coming. Left, right, north, south, east, and west were covered in red smoke. The way around it would take too long. We only had an hour left to sunset. If we took any detours, we could be too late.</p><p>“Captain Suzu!” a Scout, one named Dmitri – an officer who reported to Mike, rode up to me.</p><p>“A message from the Command Squad! Prepare to engage with Titans! We are moving the formation forward!”</p><p>The Garrison and MP soldiers within earshot grumbled at the order. I thanked Dmitri as he returned to his post, but my mind was already on thinking of how to handle these soldiers. There was no way we could avoid facing the Titans now. If they panicked, they would die. If they got too confident, they would die. If they were at the wrong place at the wrong time, they would die.</p><p>I didn’t know how to save them.</p><p>“Listen here, you blubbering schmucks!” Lili screeched and I didn’t even bother keeping the cringe off my face as she hurled more of her insults. Lili readily accused them of being cowards who could turn tail and retreat at any second.</p><p>“Let me remind you that we’re in Titan territory now. It will take you at least an hour to ride back, but you don’t even know the directions for sure! If you stop to think about it, you’ll just get eaten! Your best chance is with us – Squad Suzuru of the Survey Corps.”</p><p>“Leave us, you die,” Peter added solemnly and I slapped a hand to my face.</p><p>“Disobey us, you die,” Karl joined in unhelpfully.</p><p>“Betray us, you die,” Jenny piped up, her voice too sweet for the morbid subject.</p><p>Though I didn’t appreciate the tactic, the soldiers maintained rank. No one spoke or grumbled out a complaint. They all looked anxious and fearful. Most importantly, they were alert for the next sign of a Titan. I realized this was as good as it was going to get.</p><p>“Forward!” I yelled, and all soldiers joined my battle cry. We moved forward even as Titans appeared at our sides, grabbing the unlucky soldiers right off their horses. Even my squad wasn’t fast enough to save them. We moved forward as Titans charged out of the Forest of Giant Trees, their mouths salivating and their hands grabbing for us. We moved forward and I watched as soldiers with roses and unicorns fell to the hands of the Titans. But I also watched as a Garrison soldier made his very first Titan-kill in his military career. I watched as an MP assisted Jenny with a kill. Nobody wanted to die, but everyone was willing to give their lives for the fate of humanity.</p><p>A crack of lightning appeared in the middle of the forest. Hanji’s theory was correct. They were here and at least one of them had shifted. Erwin gave the order and we dispersed according to plan. I led the remaining Garrison and MP forces around the forest. Everyone had the same mission. Locate Eren and the other Titan-shifters, and let the others know where to find them.</p><p>“Where are all the Titans?!” a Garrison soldier cried out fearfully when we went a few minutes without spotting one. He spoke too soon because another flash of lightning emitted from the edge of the forest. This time, the Armored Titan was clear for all to see. He was running towards the south, attempting to escape. On his back were Bertholdt, a rope-bound Eren, and Ymir in her Titan form. Had Ymir turned her back on the Scouts as well?</p><p>“All Squads!” Erwin bellowed, and I spotted him as we came up to the other side of the forest. Flanking behind him was Mike. Most of the Titans had followed the troops they were leading.</p><p>“Let the Titans chase after you! Follow my lead!” With that, the Survey Corps Commander turned his horse and charged for the Armored Titan.</p><p>I knew this strategy well. We would serve as the bait and release the Titans to intercept and take a bite off of Reiner. It was not the most elegant plan, but it would do the job. I believed in Erwin’s decision.</p><p>“Is he serious?! Is your Commander out of his mind?!” one of the MP Captains demanded, riding up to me.</p><p>“We’ll be sure to report you to the Premier for insubordination, Captain Hawk,” Jenny drawled from my side.</p><p>“The highest-ranking Commanding officer present has given his orders,” Karl said, already having steeled himself and accepted Erwin’s plan. “We lead the Titans to the Armored Titan. We recover Eren Jaeger. We retreat.”</p><p>“Any questions, Captain?” I asked Hawk. He was clearly frustrated but returned to his original position, surrounded by a wall of burly MP soldiers. He was also treating his own men as bait.</p><p>“Humanity in the Walls has no chance without Eren Jaeger!” I exclaimed to the soldiers following me, taking a cue from Erwin. “So, for humanity, we will lead these Titans and defeat the Armored Titan! Forward, soldiers!”</p><p>I grabbed the reins of my horse and urged him forward without looking back. Even if no one would follow, I would still do the same. Erwin has given his orders, and I placed my complete trust in him. We would get Eren back and find the truth. Together, just as Erwin promised.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Running a little late but it's not 4am for me yet so.....that's a win for me haha! I spent most of my weekend watching a K-Drama so that was the reason for the delay haha. </p><p>A lot of this chapter was more of the disorientation Suzu was experiencing following all the events that happened in the past chapter and then getting placed into Bertholdt's mouth LOL. I'm also glad I managed to figure out how to stretch this season into 3 chapters. Honestly, this chapter was a little hard to write and it's not my favorite. But I also find it's a necessity to connect all the story events. I tried to highlight how attached Suzu can get with her Scouts. In her eyes, they're always her bbys. </p><p>Thanks for reading! See you next weekend!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. 6.3 - Wall Rose, Part Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Humanity’s Strongest Soldier paid no mind to the blonde Scout fervently defending the small and ugly Titan. He went as far as to knock the short girl off Ymir and into the waiting arms of their comrades. Levi had no time for another annoying brat. His main one already got himself trapped into the chest of the Armored Titan. Levi knew there was no way they were prying Eren out with just their blades. No matter how insistent and annoying the kids would be, the Armored Titan would not release Eren so easily. They would need more firepower. So, this ugly Titan needed to decide where its loyalties lied, and she needed to decide right now.</p><p>
  <em>“But…someone…please – someone find us!” </em>
</p><p>Levi plunged his blades into Ymir’s nape, ignoring Historia’s shrill cries and the-too-tall-too lanky boy’s weeping. Ymir had no time to react as Levi ripped out her human body. Her limbs were still latched to the sinews of her Titan form and the Captain’s tugging was cutting deep wounds into her skin.</p><p>“Ymir!” Historia cried desperately, still struggling against Connie’s hold. “Captain, don’t hurt her! Ymir won’t betray us!”</p><p>“Is she right, brat?” Levi seethed at the freckled girl. “Whose side are you on?” </p><p>“You guys!” a Garrison Captain called, garnering the Scouts’ attention. “Get away from there!”</p><p>Levi looked ahead and assessed the situation immediately. The firepower they desperately needed was coming in the form of a horde of Titans led by the crazy Survey Corps Commander. The number of Titans would overwhelm even one as bulky as the Armored Titan. Braun would be forced to either release Eren or to perish and become Titan fodder. It was a classic gamble straight out of Erwin’s book.</p><p>“Look there,” Levi ordered and yanked Ymir’s head so it was facing forward. The Titan muscle still connected to her cheeks smoked under the tension.</p><p>“Choose to side with these traitors and you’ll get eaten alive. I’ll personally make sure to cut off your arms and legs so you can’t fight back,” said Levi darkly. “Or choose us and your little girlfriend and we’ll spare your life.”</p><p>“Captain! Get away from there!” Auruo cried from below.</p><p>“Ymir! Choose me! Choose me and live!” Historia screamed at the top of her lungs.</p><p>“What will it be, girl?” Levi growled at Ymir.</p><p>“Historia!” was Ymir’s answering cry. There were tears streaming down her face. Levi could feel the girl shaking under his hold, but he could not find it in himself to pity her. To him, she was just as much a traitor as Braun and Hoover. Her only saving grace was her love for a mouthy little blonde Scout.</p><p>“<em>Tch</em>,” Levi muttered, unimpressed.</p><p>He used his full strength to rip Ymir out of her Titan. Levi used his blades to cut her at her thighs and shoulders. Even if she was throwing her lot with them, he wasn’t taking any chances. They’ve made far too many mistakes already. The pain rendered the girl unconscious and Levi thought it was for the best. This way, he didn’t need to deal with more protests. They needed to make a quick getaway if they wanted to avoid being Titan supper.</p><p>“Back on your horses!” Levi barked out at the 104<sup>th</sup> trainees he had accompanied in the forest.</p><p>All Scouts flew off the Armored Titan and landed back on their horses. Levi made to deposit Ymir into Auruo’s waiting arms, but Historia snatched the Titan-shifter from him. Levi stifled his glower and focused on the things that really mattered. For example, the horde of Titans that was coming their way.</p><p>Levi looked back at Erwin and the horde, a sense of disbelief flooding him. He knew his Commander was more than capable of coming up with crazy schemes, but this one was definitely up there with “let the Female Titan transform in Wall Sina”. Unsurprisingly, the veteran Scouts were following right behind their Commander. The still injured Mike was riding right at Erwin’s shoulder. Suzu was a few horses back, leading the Garrison and MP soldiers who were shitting themselves as they rode on. Erwin was batshit crazy and everyone just went along with it.</p><p>Levi couldn’t hold it against them for going along with Erwin’s plan. He knew that if he was in their place, he would be doing the exact same thing.</p><p>
  <em>“All soldiers, disperse! Get away from the Titans!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>We all watched with wide eyes as Reiner let out a ferocious roar. Multiple Titans clawed at him, attempting to gnaw against every inch of his armored Titan flesh. Frustratingly, his arms still remained crossed against his chest. Until he released his hold, we wouldn’t be able to retrieve Eren.</p><p>
  <em>“What’s going on? Is this hell?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, but it will be!” </em>
</p><p>My eyes snapped to Erwin as he urged his horse forward.</p><p>“All soldiers, charge! The fate of humanity will be decided at this very moment! There is no future where humanity can inhabit these lands without Eren. We recover Eren and retreat immediately! <em>Shinzou wo sasageyo!</em>”</p><p>Even though my heart was beating erratically, my hands immediately grabbed hold of my horse’s reins. I heard the fearful murmurs of the Garrison and Military Police soldiers positioned behind me. I didn’t have to look at their faces to know that we wouldn’t be able to count on their support for this stunt. They thought Erwin had already taken it too far with the Titan horde. They were convinced that the Survey Corps Commander and the soldiers that followed him have lost their minds. The Garrison and Military Police were choosing to hang back, but they didn’t realize it would make them easier targets for the monsters.  </p><p>“Forget them!” Lili muttered at my side. I didn’t want to leave the other soldiers behind where they would surely perish, but I had no choice but to agree with my squad member. I never looked back when I followed the Commander’s orders. If the Garrison and MP were unwilling to follow the soldiers most experienced against the Titans, then there was no hope for them. We couldn’t afford to waste more time.</p><p>Finally, the Armored Titan lifted its fists and began to fend off the Titans surrounding him. Hanging by his chest was Bertholdt with Eren strapped on his back like a military pack. This was the opening we needed but it required us to ride straight into the Titan horde. There was no time for detours and no other path to take. We had no choice but to risk it all because, if we didn’t, then humanity wouldn’t stand a chance in its struggle for freedom without its one loyal Titan-shifter.</p><p>
  <em>Those who can’t sacrifice anything can’t change anything. </em>
</p><p>The Scouts charged for Eren as one unit. Erwin fearlessly led the charge from the front. Mike and Levi rode hard at my side as they always have. Squad Suzu rode bravely, rallying the fresh recruits and terrified soldiers with war cries. Eren’s classmates rode with ferocity – even Historia who was also balancing an unconscious Ymir in front of her.</p><p>
  <em>A person only loses when he stops fighting. As long as we continue to fight, we are not beaten! </em>
</p><p>“Advance!”</p><p>Erwin’s command was booming and unwavering. And it was also cut off by the teeth of a Titan crawling on all fours. It happened so suddenly – the Titan appeared just as the foliage of trees opened up. It snatched Erwin right off his horse.</p><p><em>Erwin. </em>Erwin had just been eaten by a Titan.</p><p>I jerked my horse to a stop, all the Scouts doing the same.</p><p>It can’t be. Erwin couldn’t─</p><p>…</p><p>Not Erwin─</p><p>…</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>“Commander Erwin!” the Scouts cried for him.</p><p>“Shit ─ Erwin!” Levi’s eyes were blown wide as he roared for him. Mike was already turning to ride back for him. </p><p>“Erwin…” I said, but it barely came out louder than a whisper.</p><p>
  <em>“Advance!”</em>
</p><p>He was still alive. He was still bellowing out commands as if his entire arm wasn’t in the mouth of a Titan. At any second, the Titan could slurp him in and the Survey Corps would lose its 13<sup>th</sup> Commander. Despite that, Erwin didn’t look distressed or in pain – he only looked determined. His free arm was waving a blade towards the direction he was ordering us to.</p><p>“Eren is just ahead! Advance!”</p><p>
  <em>Erwin.</em>
</p><p>It was in the jaws of death that my husband looked the most alive. His bright blue eyes that I loved so much shined with blazing hope. Erwin was usually cold and collected, but at this moment he was begging his soldiers not to miss this opportunity. He implored us to take back humanity’s greatest advantage from the hands of traitors. Erwin was no stranger to making hard decisions. When he weighed his life against humanity’s, his choice has always been so clear.</p><p>Like always, I needed to trust in him. But trusting him has never been this hard before.</p><p>
  <em>Erwin.</em>
</p><p>I needed to go back for him.</p><p>Levi and Mike looked to me, but I could tell their minds were already made up. I was crushed. My heart didn’t want to accept it, but my mind had arrived at the same conclusion. I didn’t want this, but this is what needed to happen. I needed to believe in him. I needed to make everyone else believe in him and obey his command.</p><p>“The Commander gave everything to rescue Eren,” I spoke up, trying my best to emulate Erwin as I talked to my Scouts.</p><p>My words had to convince them to turn their back on the Commander. Erwin’s Command Squad would try to save him, but the rest of us needed to move forward. If not, all would be lost. Levi and Mike were humanity’s strongest. Mikasa was humanity’s strongest. The 104<sup>th</sup> trainees were humanity’s strongest. The Survey Corps was humanity’s only hope. It was only us who could save Eren.</p><p>“We can’t allow his sacrifices to be for nothing. <em>Shinzou wo sasageyo</em>.” I tugged hard on the reins of my horse, causing the animal to lift its front legs in the air in preparation.</p><p>
  <em>“Advance!” </em>
</p><p>I ordered the Scouts to turn their back on Erwin. I ordered them to resume the charge to rescue Eren.</p><p>
  <em>Those who can’t sacrifice anything can’t change anything. </em>
</p><p>With Erwin’s sacrifice at the forefront of our minds, we charged towards the Armored Titan. The Titan horde was thick. We would have to be strategic lest we lose more precious lives. Reiner was struggling to fight against the Titans even though he had already let his arms loose. But where Reiner and Bertholdt were fighting on their own, the Scouts had each other.</p><p>‘Those who can’t sacrifice anything can’t change anything,’ was Erwin’s truth. It was Armin’s truth.</p><p>‘A person only loses when he stops fighting. As long as we continue to fight, we are not beaten!’ was Mike’s truth.</p><p>I knew my truth. I’ve known it for almost all my life.</p><p>
  <em>We are not alone.</em>
</p><p>Perhaps this wasn’t the way my father meant it, but it was because we had each other that I knew we would win. The Scouts would save Eren and escape the traitors and the Titans. I believed we could do this. I trusted we could do this. Because we weren’t alone. We had each other to count on.</p><p>“Mike, Levi, 104<sup>th</sup> – get Eren! Don’t stop for anything!” I exclaimed. Mike and Levi listened to me attentively as I commanded the Scouts’ attention.</p><p>“The rest of us have to hold the Titans off here. Squad Suzu will hold the line. No Titan should get past us. If we don’t create an opening to get to the Armored Titan, then we’ll never be able to get to Eren!”</p><p>Everyone knew what I was asking them to do. We all needed to put our lives on the line so that the strongest of us could make it to Eren. Where Erwin had his multiple gambles, I always played the same game. I always acted as bait so that the stronger soldier could land the finishing blow. This time wasn’t very different. Most of the Scouts would have to grab the Titans’ attention so that the strongest soldiers could slip past and get to Eren. We could do our best to fight off the Titans, but soldiers were going to die no matter what.</p><p>I hated this. I was too soft to make these decisions. But still, I had to ask this of my Scouts. I needed to make sure Erwin’s sacrifice wouldn’t be for nothing.   </p><p>“Are you with me, soldiers?!”</p><p>The resounding affirmatives both broke and warmed my heart. The Scouts followed me because they believed in me. They trusted me. And I was ordering them to die.</p><p>I still didn’t want this, but this was still what needed to happen.</p><p>“Squad Suzu, hold the line! Mike, Levi – go!” I ordered, instructing my members to spread out.</p><p>As Mike’s and Levi’s group rode away, the rest of us pushed back against the Titans. This terrified me more than the Battle of Trost. In that fight, I was able to leverage rooftops and tall buildings to help me land my blade into Titan napes. Out here in the plains of Wall Rose, I only had the occasional tree and the very Titan I intended to kill to use for flight.</p><p>Some Scouts tried to take down Titans by slicing at their joints. The falling bodies of the Titans crushed horses and soldiers alike. The unlucky ones left on the ground were grabbed by the fallen Titans. If we left the monsters standing, they would eat us. Even when we brought them down, they would still eat us. But I gave the order to continue bringing the Titans to their knees. We had to make sure they couldn’t chase after the soldiers going after Eren.</p><p>“Don’t stop fighting!” Ness cried out from the side, and for a moment I was reminded of how I had ordered him to ride back to the medical carts during the Expedition instead of engaging with the Female Titan. Did I save his life then only for him to die here?</p><p>Ness took down a 4-meter and expertly dodged the grasp of an incoming 6-meter. Another Scout came up behind the taller Titan and sliced at its nape. We were surrounded by death. There were several steaming carcasses of Titans littering the ground. I couldn’t feel triumphant over those wins because when I looked at the other side, Scouts were being gobbled up by the Titans we missed.</p><p>If Mike and the others weren’t able to retrieve Eren soon, then we would all die out here. I had to decide how long we would be willing to hold off these Titans. The horde Erwin led here was bigger than I originally thought. Every time a soldier took down one of them, it was as if two more popped up in its place. We would run out of blades before we got to finish them off. Our horses would be crushed and we would be left with no means to escape.</p><p>I needed to decide the next step of my strategy. This was my plan and I had to see it through. I wasn’t as quick on my feet on the battlefield as Erwin was. It should have been me who was eaten by that Titan and him standing here right now.</p><p>“Jenny!” I heard Karl yell for my youngest squad member. I whipped around to see Jenny flung to the ground by her cable wires, two Titans hungrily grabbing for her. The Russo brothers took down the monsters at the same time while Lili rescued her female comrade. Jenny’s eyes were still open, but she looked unfocused.</p><p>“Lili, retreat with Jenny! Get out of here! Karl, Peter – back to position! Ness, Auruo – take Jenny’s and Lili’s places!” I ordered. My heart burned for my squad member. Jenny was always being protected by Squad Suzu since she was the smallest. As much as I wanted to bring her to safety myself, we still needed to hold the line here.</p><p>Mike…Levi…where are you?</p><p>Lili had Jenny on her horse but wasn’t riding away yet. Her attention was grabbed by something coming from the distance. I followed her gaze and what I saw nearly stopped my heart.</p><p>
  <em>Was it truly…?</em>
</p><p>“Lili, get out of here!” Peter yelled at her.</p><p>“Commander Erwin?!” Lili exclaimed.</p><p>The soldiers still standing gasped at her declaration, but quickly confirmed that she was speaking the truth. Erwin was on his white horse Storm, charging towards us with a fierce look in his eyes. His right arm was missing. The bloodied and torn sleeve of his jacket had a makeshift tourniquet wrapped around the stump of his lost limb. Adrenaline spurred him forward. Erwin was charging for the Armored Titan.</p><p>“Ness, you’re in charge! Hold the line and defend the Commander!” I ordered as I turned my own horse around.</p><p>“Where are you going, Captain?!” Karl called out to me but I didn’t pause to answer him. Instead, I launched my cables at the 4-meter scrambling towards the Armored Titan’s direction. I used its height to get me on the top of its head. I dropped down and sliced its nape, then launched my cables at the next target. I needed to clear Erwin’s path to the Armored Titan. No matter how much I wanted to beg him to turn back, I knew Erwin would not choose to run until he was sure we had Eren. The best thing I could do was fight at his side. As always, I trusted my husband. I believed in him. I would make sure he wasn’t in this fight alone.</p><p>Mike, Levi, and the recruits of the 104<sup>th</sup> had made quick work of the Titans that had broken through Squad Suzu. There weren’t a lot left for me to take down. Reiner was barely holding it together against the Titans attempting to eat him. The combined efforts of Mike, Levi, and Mikasa were threatening to push him past his breaking point. And there was one more wild card in the fight.</p><p>I reached the Armored Titan in time to hear Armin’s words to Bertholdt and Reiner.</p><p>
  <em>“Are you abandoning Annie?”</em>
</p><p>Like me, Armin liked to repeat his schemes. I loved to play bait and Armin loved to give shock value. We repeated our signature tactics because they always worked. I knew it then and I knew it now, Armin was a genius.</p><p>He implied that Annie was still alive and being tortured in the northern part of the Walls. This part of the lie was the biggest gamble. We had no way of knowing what Eren could have revealed to the traitors. We didn’t even know if Eren had regained consciousness after he was taken away. What did Reiner and Bertholdt know about Annie’s fate?</p><p>
  <em>“It was her screams that taught us something – even with her body’s healing, you can never get rid of the pain.” </em>
</p><p>Armin was never allowed to see Annie, much less take part in her torture. I decided to jump in and add some truth to intensify the effect of his words. Reiner and Bertholdt had yet to react, so I was betting on Armin.</p><p>“We figured out what it took to trigger partial transformations,” I said and felt the gazes of the other 104<sup>th</sup> recruits snapping to me. “The crystal Annie produces is the most interesting material I’ve encountered. Nothing like we’ve ever seen before. We did everything to make sure she made more. She calls us <em>devils</em> but there’s nothing she can do to stop us.”</p><p>“Premier Zackley and his men are torturing her in every way they know how,” Armin confirmed.</p><p>
  <em>“You spawn of the devil! I’ll pulverize you!”</em>
</p><p>Bertholdt was exploding. Bertholdt was careless.</p><p>Erwin leaped up and sliced off the restraints tying Eren to Bertholdt.</p><p>Mikasa flew in and caught Eren. Mike and Levi raced to Erwin’s side. And finally, the Commander ordered our retreat.</p><p>
  <em>“Retreat!” </em>
</p><p>“We should take those bastards─”</p><p>“No, Levi!” Erwin shot him down sharply, struggling to take deep breaths in between. “We have Eren. We have Ymir. Now, we retreat!”</p><p>“Erwin─”</p><p>“Do not defy me! <em>Retreat!</em>” Erwin ordered again, spurring on his horse to lead the troops back to the Wall.</p><p>Even with a missing arm, he was still the same unwavering Commander of the Survey Corps. Erwin was able to think with a clear mind and make the right choice. Trying to capture Reiner and Bertholdt now was too dangerous. We could get eaten by Titans. Bertholdt might transform into the Colossal Titan again. We needed to go while we still had Eren within our grasp.</p><p>I rode at the side of the Shiganshina trio and released the smoke signal for retreat. Ness, Squad Suzu, and the remaining Scouts needed to ride away too. We could still get back without losing more lives. We just had to run.</p><p>A pudgy 6-meter Titan seemed to fly into the air, soaring above the retreating soldiers.</p><p>An abnormal?</p><p>The Titan flailed and crashed hard into the ground, creating an explosive dust cloud and flinging dirt debris everywhere.</p><p>
  <em>“Damn that Reiner! He’s tossing Titans like a madman!”</em>
</p><p>Jean’s exclamation chilled me. I couldn’t see anyone else, but I could hear soldiers’ cries of pain and others’ confused questions.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>CRASH!!!</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>“Eren! Mikasa!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Captain Suzu!”</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>…</p><p>……</p><p>………</p><p>
  <em>!!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>When I opened my eyes, I saw a smiling Titan.</p><p>I was in the air before I could even think about it.</p><p>I sliced my blades through the smiling Titan’s wrist, severing off the hand that was gripping Captain Hannes. He was one of the few Garrison soldiers that didn’t cower when Erwin ordered us to charge. I only knew a few things about him – how he had a connection to the Shiganshina trio, how he transformed from a drunkard to a competent captain, and now I knew about his bravery too.</p><p>I couldn’t let him die.</p><p>I clicked on my gas trigger, but only little puffs of smoke escaped my tanks. I was out of air. I crashed down hard on my left leg and couldn’t help but cry out. The pain that throbbed against my leg quickly spread across my entire body. The sound of screaming soldiers and roaring Titans made my mind jump too quickly. I couldn’t even follow the pace of my own thoughts.</p><p>No matter how hard I fought, I was always knocked down. Every single time I would get back up, one way or another I would fall again. Out of blades, out of gas. Piece of the gate crushing my leg. A talking Titan flinging horses at us. An armored Titan flinging other Titans at us.</p><p>Why did I have to survive that day in Shiganshina?</p><p>
  <em>H-Hanji? Hanji, save me! Mike? Don’t leave me! Please! I’m still here! Levi? Levi, please! Please, Levi! Help me! Help me! Erwin…Erwin? Help me. Please…save me.</em>
</p><p>“Erwin!” This time, the scream came out of my mouth.  </p><p>My scream mingled with another. Eren was standing once more, looking stronger with complete limbs. He was not in Titan-form but the scream coming out of him was reminiscent of his roars in Trost. He roared like he was battling Annie again. He roared like he was crushing Reiner’s Armored Titan with a swift leg lock. Eren’s ability to shift into a Titan wasn’t what made him strong. I believed it was Eren’s innate strength that allowed him to shift. Even amongst the other Titan-shifters we discovered, Eren proved to be different. He had an intense will to live and fight for his freedom. For humanity’s freedom.</p><p>Eren raised his fist against the smiling Titan.</p><p>Something inside me lurched but my body was frozen – not out of fear but out of <em>wonder</em>. A Titan emerged from behind Eren and attacked the smiling Titan. Eren punched the air and more Titans joined the first. The horde came back together to attack the smiling Titan.</p><p>I thought of Annie and how her roars had called a horde of Titans to the forest during the last expedition. Eren had been raging and roaring in all the other times he shifted. But only now, despite being in his human form, the Titans answered his call. Why was it happening now? What changed and made the Titans answer his screams?</p><p>“Let’s get out of here, Captain Suzuru!” a voice called out to me.</p><p>Hannes had freed himself from the smiling Titan’s dissipating severed hand and chased after Eren and Mikasa’s retreating forms. I tried to get up but fell back to the ground almost immediately. It was my leg. I couldn’t feel it and I couldn’t get it to move.</p><p>“Help!” I tried to call out to Hannes, but he was already too far away. All the Titans were hyper-focused on eating the smiling Titan for some unfathomable reason, but what would happen when they were done with it?</p><p>“Help!!!” I tried again, even though I knew there wasn’t anyone around to hear me. I began to claw at the dirt, using my arms to pull my entire body across the ground. I needed to put as much distance between myself and the horde.</p><p>
  <em>Run away and live. Live, Maria dammit! Live! Swear it! Do you swear?</em>
</p><p>“Help me!”</p><p>Suddenly I was lifted into the air and dropped onto a horse. Sitting behind me, Levi kicked and urged his horse forward.</p><p>“Were you hiding or something, <em>tch</em>,” Levi muttered at me and then raised his voice. “Mike, Erwin! I’ve got her! Let’s go!”</p><p>Mike and Erwin came into view, both looking worried. Erwin was pale-faced but looked relieved to see me with Levi. The stump on his right shoulder was not dripping with blood, but it still needed to be treated and dressed properly right away. No words passed between us, but Erwin never took his eyes off me. We both realized that it was a miracle that we were both alive.</p><p>“Eren Jaeger is up ahead! The Armored Titan is running for him!” Mike called out.</p><p>“Retrieve Eren!” Erwin ordered.</p><p>We paused the charge for him when Eren planted his feet and started yelling at Reiner.</p><p>
  <em>“Get away from me! You bastards – I’ll kill you all!” </em>
</p><p>Eren’s scream made my stomach lurch once more. The Titans who had been eating away at the carcass of the smiling Titan turned their attention to Reiner and Bertholdt. They ran with red eyes and with an unnatural speed towards the Titan-shifters who were traitors to humanity. The Armored Titan was immediately overwhelmed with fighting them off and protecting Bertholdt.</p><p>“Don’t let this chance slip away! Full retreat!” Erwin bellowed out, calling to all the soldiers who were still standing.</p><p>Once more, the Scouts came together as one unit. Our numbers were significantly less than when we were first charging for Eren, but I was grateful to have this many of my Scouts still alive. The Titan horde had massacred so many of us. I still couldn’t tell who and how many exactly were lost to us. If we made it back to the safety of the Walls, I knew I would break down over their deaths. But right now wasn’t the time to cry.</p><p>When Eren caught sight of Ymir’s limbless form on Krista’s horse, he decided to yell at her too.</p><p>“Don’t you dare betray us, Ymir! You owe us your life now!”</p><p>If Ymir had a response, I didn’t hear it. I realized I couldn’t hear anything at all. I could see the others’ mouth moving. The rumbling I felt behind me told me that even Levi was speaking. But I couldn’t hear anything. My head felt too heavy and I probably would have fallen off the horse if Levi didn’t yank me upright.</p><p>I opened my eyes and saw blue. <em>Erwin.</em></p><p>“You’re alive…” I whispered. I wanted to touch him, but my arm wouldn’t move. Everything was finally catching up with me.</p><p>“I’ll take you home, Suzu. Hang on a little longer, wife,” Erwin promised me.</p><p>I closed my eyes with relief. I believed in Erwin. I trusted him. He would bring me home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that ends Season 2! That went by way quicker than the previous season haha. I followed the main storyline of the season, just adding a few changes here and there. Probably the biggest change is Ymir's current fate. Her siding with the Scouts this time can change a lot - especially the knowledge the Scouts will have about the world beyond the Walls. But I don't imagine Ymir will make it very easy for them, </p><p>Next chapter will cover events that happen in between S2 and S3. Thanks for reading! See you next weekend! I could already tell work is going to kill me this week so...see you on the other side HAHA</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. 7.1 - Squad Suzuru</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Krista is altruistic. Krista is loving. Krista is kind. Krista is the perfect little devil.</em>
</p><p>Pastor Nick looked as if he was about to pass out. Although he was a high-ranking official within the Church of the Walls, he wasn’t there when I had first read this story out loud in Annie’s prison. His absence may have saved his life. But something told me Pastor Nick would have rather been dead than be held as a hostage by the Survey Corps the church loathed so much.</p><p>The newest members of Squad Suzu also had varying expressions on their faces. Historia looked extremely confused. I wondered if she had heard the story before. After all, her fake name was the same as the name of the main character in the devil story. Ymir remained quiet but there was a scowl etched on her face. She was displeased with being forced into my squad. She thought visiting this whimpering church pastor was a waste of time.</p><p>“The fake name bestowed onto Miss Reiss here is Krista. The name of the girl in this story is also Krista. Is that a coincidence, pastor?”</p><p>Pastor Nick’s silence didn’t surprise me. Hanji told me that all that pastor had revealed so far was that the church was ordered to watch over Historia because she apparently knew the secrets of the Wall. The girl in question had been summoned to Erwin’s room to explain herself, but Historia didn’t even know what she was supposed to know. Erwin decided that she wasn’t lying, even if Mike and Levi remained suspicious.</p><p>Since then, Pastor Nick hadn’t spoken another secret. He was kept in isolation in this nameless apartment building in the middle of Trost. The other residents were Marian refugees without papers. The only people Pastor Nick interacted with were the members of Squad Hanji who interrogated him and delivered his necessities. Under Erwin’s order, Squad Suzuru was charged with taking over the investigation from Squad Hanji. My squad’s task was to uncover the secrets Historia held.</p><p>Erwin made it sound as if was easy.</p><p>Ymir let out a frustrated grunt and forcefully stepped forward into the pastor’s personal space. She crouched down so that she and the sitting man were eye to eye. In this position, Pastor Nick was unable to avoid her gaze.</p><p>“The Captain asked ya’ a question. It’s really rude to ignore a <em>Captain</em>, ya’ know.”</p><p>Still, the pastor didn’t speak. This aggravated Ymir even more and she threw a punch straight into his jaw. Ymir didn’t stop there, even at the sound of Historia’s surprised gasp.</p><p>Ymir kicked Pastor Nick in between the legs. She slapped him repeatedly. She punched him in the gut. In between hits, she demanded he answer my question. Levi was right. Ymir’s loyalty was only to Historia. She didn’t have it in her to care about the fate of humanity. She only cared about the girl she loved.</p><p>That was why Erwin had ordered Historia to join my squad. Historia would be the Survey Corps’ hostage to force Ymir to comply.</p><p>“Captain! Aren’t you going to do something?!” Historia cried at me as Ymir continued her assault on the man.</p><p>Violence was never my preferred method of getting information. But Pastor Nick was a dead end. If he wouldn’t admit any secrets even after we had him face Historia, then it was unlikely he would ever give us more. His devotion to his church made him value his secrets over his own life. All the Survey Corps could do now was ensure he didn’t make it into the hands of the other secret-keepers. While we didn’t have another angle to try to convince him, all we could do was keep him safe and alive.</p><p>Inflicting fear was worth a shot. But Historia was already prying the taller girl away from the beaten man. Pastor Nick was left wheezing. His left eye was blackened and he cradled his wrist to his chest. Ymir used him as a punching bag to let out all her frustrations. She was angry about her forced compliance with the Survey Corps. She was angry that Historia’s life was constantly in danger. She was angry she didn’t escape with Reiner and Bertholdt. Pastor Nick was an easy target handed to Ymir on a silver platter.</p><p>“We’ll take our leave now, pastor,” I said and bid for Ymir and Historia to follow me back out into the dark hallway. I leaned heavily on my walking stick. It had only been three days since the operation to rescue Eren from the traitor Titan-shifters. The Survey Corps was not given ample time to recover. We couldn’t afford to waste a single second.</p><p>The moon was our only source of light tonight. None of the other apartments had their candles burning. Sometimes, the families that lived here had to choose between getting food in their bellies or having warmth to rest next to. The Marian refugees who didn’t die in the culling operation to take back Wall Maria survived day to day in outskirt cities like Trost. It was miserable. And yet, the number of Marian recruits lessened over the years following the fall of Wall Maria. No one wanted to run the risk of being Titan fodder, not after the events that forced them out of their homes. Instead, the refugees were content with living in cold and dark buildings like this one where no one bothered them.</p><p>“I hate that snooty Church idiot!” Ymir seethed. She laughed when Historia attempted to scold her.</p><p>“Don’t act all high and mighty now, Ymir,” I said as we made our way down to the ground floor. “You’re no different. The secrets you insist on keeping also endanger Historia’s life.”</p><p>“Pshh, I’ve told you and Commander Eyebrows everything you need to know to keep my Historia alive!” Ymir shot back.</p><p>“All you said was that the church was looking for her. What kind of information can we get from that?”</p><p>Ymir cursed at me but I allowed it to go over my head. I never let her get on my nerves. The girl was just cranky. At first, when Ymir had been overtly disrespectful to me – my squad was furious. Even Historia pleaded with Ymir to calm down. Ymir was trying to force the Survey Corps leadership to move her to a different squad. She was tired of her every move and word being analyzed by me and Squad Suzu. Erwin had told her that a transfer could easily be arranged. Ymir could move into a squad under the command of Mike’s officers, but Historia would remain by my side. Historia was required to go to every one of my operations, even the ones that put her straight into the path of the church officials who hunted her just like the one tonight.</p><p>Unfortunately for Ymir, Historia trusted me. She easily revealed the truth to me about her childhood and what she knew about her elusive father. But there were gaps in her stories. Historia had no way of knowing what she didn’t know.</p><p>When we reached the ground floor of the building, Karl and Lili were nowhere to be seen. I was immediately on guard.</p><p>“Quiet first,” I ordered sharply, cutting off the banter going on between the two girls following behind me.</p><p>While Jenny and Peter were on loan to Squad Mike to help with his business in Wall Sina, Karl and Lili were the soldiers tasked with guarding the building while we interrogated the pastor. They would block any untoward individuals from entering and would give us a warning in case we needed to make a hasty exit. At this point, both soldiers were among the most veteran of Scouts and were the veteran members of Squad Suzu. Their absence from their posts was alarming.</p><p>“On your guard, ladies.”</p><p>It was as if my soft order was the signal for attack. Multiple figures slinked out of the shadows and charged for the three of us. I threw my walking stick straight into the eye of the nearest attacker, but two more men pounced on me and forced me down. Ymir had Historia behind her as she tried to fight against three men and a disobedient Historia.</p><p>As part of her disguise, we had required Historia to cut her hair as short as Armin’s. She was also ordered to wear men’s slacks. We intended to keep her hidden in plain view. Was our rouse discovered so soon?</p><p>The man who I had thrown my stick at growled at me. He used my walking stick to hit me lightly on the head.  </p><p>“Who knew you Orientals could be so feisty?”</p><p>They weren’t here for Historia. They were here for me.</p><p>Admittedly, I was surprised. I haven’t experienced an abduction attempt in years since the solidification of Squad Suzu. Whatever Karl, Peter, and Levi had done in the Underground in the past had thwarted off several gangs. Where was this group from?</p><p>“We were told your guards would make this job tricky. Gotta say I’m a bit disappointed, little miss. The first two were a bit of a challenge – true. But we lured them away eventually. These two chicks, though? Pathetic.”</p><p>The men surrounding us all laughed.</p><p>“Come quietly with us, lady, and we’ll leave your friends alive. Even the boy who cries like a little girl.” They didn’t even recognize Historia.</p><p>“Fine,” I said.</p><p>“Captain!” Historia cried out but I threw her a sharp look that immediately silenced her. Ymir would do everything to keep Historia safe. If I could get these men away from the two for even just a moment, that would give them the chance to escape.</p><p>“I said it’s a deal, man. Now let them go!”</p><p>The leader laughed heartily once more. “You’ve got some fire in you, lady. Did you really thi─”</p><p>His words were cut off by a blade plunged into his back. The leader’s men barely had time to register what was going on before Karl finished the job with a crack of the leader’s head.</p><p>The men holding me down cried out when another figure jumped out at them. Lili was roaring with ferocity as she used her fingers to scratch the men. I used their surprise to force them off me. I pushed one of them into the group surrounding Ymir and Historia.</p><p>Ymir went as far as to clamp her teeth down into the man restraining her. For a moment, the action reminded me of her Titan. With Karl and Lili joining the fight, the six would-be abductors were taken down easily.</p><p>“We turn our backs for one second and you’re about to get abducted again, Captain,” Lili japed with me.</p><p>“When the Commander finds out we slipped up, he’ll have our heads,” Karl reminded her with a grave tone.</p><p>“Aww, you won’t sell us out, right, Captain?” Ymir cooed at me, even going as far as to wrap an arm around my shoulders. She must have seen the disbelieving looks on the rest of our faces. As for Krista, she just had a knowing smirk on her lips.</p><p>“What?” Ymir blurted when she saw how we were looking at her. “Our beloved princess was willing to get taken away to make sure my precious Historia could get away! Even though I didn’t believe a word those fuckers were saying, that still meant something to me. You’re good with me, Captain.”</p><p>I shook my head, chuckling despite the fact I was dragging a corpse behind me.</p><p>“Thanks, Ymir. I’m very glad to hear that.”</p><p>The newest members of Squad Suzu finally seemed to accept that they were one of us. As we buried the dead bodies in shallow graves, Ymir and Historia bonded well with Karl and Lili. The whole situation was a little ridiculous if I stopped to think about it.  </p><p>When Erwin, from his recovery bed, ordered that I take Historia, the noble bastard, and Ymir, the newly discovered Titan-shifter, into my squad, I couldn’t figure out his agenda. I was usually so in tune with my husband, but this move baffled me at the start. While my squad has always been tasked with collecting secrets that could further the Survey Corps’ position, I thought the two girls would be better of with Squads Levi and Hanji.</p><p>I always prided myself in being able to go head to head with my husband when he played his mind games. But even when recovering from a missing arm and dealing with the aftermath of losing so many soldiers during the rescue mission, Erwin was already thinking so many steps ahead that even I couldn’t see it yet.</p><p>He believed I would be the one to crack Ymir. Erwin gave me Historia to make it work.</p><p>When Ymir knocked on the door of our private quarters after lights out, Erwin’s bright blue eyes shined with triumph. Another gamble won.</p><p>None of us got a wink of sleep that night as Ymir told us the story of her life before the Walls.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A shorter chapter today! The first draft of this chapter was actually already over 3k words, but I really disliked it. This version just has more events moving, and hopefully the happenings and Suzu's thoughts are able to show where the Scouts are now. (Work has been killing me these past weeks, so the chapters I manage to churn out are shorter huhu) </p><p>I'll spend a bit of time exploring the effects of the story changes before we start catching up with the S3 plot. I'm envisioning that a lot of set-up is needed before we go ahead. Hope you will stick with me. </p><p>Have a great remainder of the weekend and have a great week ahead!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. 7.2 - Squad Mike</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mike couldn’t believe they were walking out of the Sina Military Headquarters alive. When Erwin reported to Premier Zackley that the Survey Corps failed at capturing the Armored and Colossal Titan-shifters, the top commanding military officer was murderous.   </p><p>Mike was relieved Erwin had been so adamant about refusing for Suzuru to resume her role as Survey Corps liaison to the officials in Wall Sina. Otherwise, the Premier may have followed through with his declaration in Stohess. Zackley wouldn’t hesitate to harm Suzu. Every single Scout wouldn’t hesitate to defend her, even if it meant treachery.</p><p>Instead, Erwin brought Mike along with him to Wall Sina along with an odd mix of Scouts pulled from different squads. The loss of so many veteran Scouts sent a pang through the squad leader. Both the members of Erwin’s Command Squad and Squad Mike were completely wiped out after the operation to rescue Eren Jaeger. The Survey Corps have barely even begun to recover from their losses from the last expedition.</p><p>Nifa and Rashad from Squad Hanji joined them, along with Ness and Auruo. Suzuru even loaned Jenny and Peter to them. The female member from Squad Suzu walked alongside the Commander, the two of them conversing in low tones. Erwin took the young soldier’s advice very seriously. The combination of Jenny’s vast network of secrets and Erwin’s cunning is what likely saved their lives today. Jenny reminded Mike so much of the Commander’s wife.</p><p>The Scouts hurried and busied themselves with preparing the horses for departure. Nobody wanted to remain in Wall Sina longer than they had to.</p><p>“That was close, Erwin. Too close.” Mike was frustrated at the way he sounded so breathless. Suzu told him to go easier on himself as he barely had any time to rest since returning from the rescue operation. None of them had any time to rest and that irked the Captain even more. Suzu relied heavily on her walking stick again and Hanji’s burns were still heavily bandaged. Mike knew Erwin’s stump at his right shoulder ached despite the Commander’s impassive expressions.</p><p>Zackley’s summons arrived right as the Survey Corps made it back to their base. The Scouts were victorious but exhausted. The Premier gave them only a few days to get themselves together.</p><p>“It’s far from over.” Erwin’s tone was grave. Mike couldn’t help but agree with his Commander’s statement. He didn’t need to have his excellent nose to sense the tension the Survey Corps were greeted with. Many officials in Sina sneered and scoffed at them. They were unhappy that they returned with yet another Titan-shifter added to their ranks. The pompous military leaders and snot-faced Nobles could no longer claim that the Survey Corps was useless. Now, they were concerned that the smallest branch of the military was gaining too much power.</p><p>“And what did Jenny have to say?”</p><p>“The King’s advisors are not too happy with the Survey Corps,” Erwin mused as he accepted Mike’s arm as a boost to get up on his horse. “We need to be prepared for the pushback.”</p><p>The Scouts were grim as they rode out of Wall Sina. The Commander received even bleaker news upon reaching the Survey Corps Headquarters at nightfall.</p><p>“Commander!” Karl, second-in-command of Squad Suzu, saluted as they arrived.</p><p>“Karl,” Erwin greeted shortly. “Where is Suzu?”</p><p>“Sir, there was an attempted abduction attempt. Squad Suzu successfully thwarted off the perpetrators. Captain Suzuru is perfectly well. She is resting in your shared quarters.”</p><p>Erwin asked no further questions and stalked inside immediately, surely on the way to his wife. Mike took over giving the final orders to the Scouts who had accompanied them to Sina. All he wanted to do was rest, but that was not an option for a top officer of the Survey Corps.</p><p>All Mike could do was put his trust in his Commander. He needed to start rebuilding Squad Mike and work with Erwin to get the rest of the corps organized. Rest could follow once humanity was truly safe.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Hanji hung on to Erwin’s every word. She listened with rapt attention as Erwin recounted everything Ymir revealed to us the night before. Hanji took notes without even looking at the paper.</p><p>Erwin was familiar enough with Hanji to make sure he didn’t skip over a single detail. He began with the history of Ymir’s name and connected it with Hanji’s encounter with the first talking Titan and Ilse’s notebook. Then Erwin talked about the world beyond the Walls.</p><p>Until now, Erwin’s eyes sparkled with pure joy. The information imparted to us by Ymir was already enough to redeem the memory of his father. It was even enough for me to understand my own father’s Truth. Ymir singlehandedly turned our worlds upside down in the name of protecting Historia.</p><p>When Erwin got into how Ymir received her Titan-shifting ability and the origins of the Titans that plagued us, Hanji was practically frothing at the mouth. Levi listened intently from behind the duo. He was reluctant to leave Eren and the new Squad Levi unsupervised but came to headquarters right away when Erwin wrote with urgency.  </p><p>Once this meeting ended, Squad Erwin would look at the world with completely different eyes. Everything we were raised to believe was all based on a lie. Only a select few knew the truth.</p><p>
  <em>We are not alone.</em>
</p><p>I turned to look at Mike. He was a few seats away from the rest of the group, but still within earshot to hear Erwin’s recount. His silence made me curious.</p><p>“What’s on your mind, Mike?”</p><p>“If the girl had spoken sooner…then Nanaba wouldn’t have had to die. Gelgar, Henning, Lynne – my squad died protecting her. This information could have saved their lives.”</p><p>Mike’s jaw was clenched and his grip was crushing the armrests of his chair. Most of his squad had fallen in Utgard Castle. Mike lost his last squad member when the Armored Titan was flinging pure Titans at the Survey Corps when we were attempting to escape.</p><p>“Everything would have been different if she told Erwin sooner.”</p><p>“You’re right,” I affirmed. “But she thought we were devils. So did Annie. And so did Reiner and Bertholdt. They wanted to kill us all.”</p><p>The only reason why the Marley trio didn’t kill off humanity within the Walls was that they couldn’t risk losing the Titan Eren held. Ymir revealed that the trio came in search of the one Titan left within the Walls. She called it the Coordinate.</p><p>Ymir realized this when Eren was able to command the Titan horde. Somehow, Eren gained the most powerful Titan in existence.</p><p>Mike shook his head. “So many lives could have been spared.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry about your squad,” I said as I gathered Mike into a hug. I smiled at the way he sunk into me. Mike didn’t cry. Most of the Squad Erwin members hardly cried at all after so many years. Levi said I cried enough for all of them already.</p><p>Still, I did my best to share in Mike’s grief. Squad Suzu remained the record-holder for the longest surviving squad. No matter how much I could sympathize about losing comrades, I still didn’t know what it was like to lose a squad member. I never wanted to know.</p><p>Nanaba. Gelgar. Henning. Lynne. Thomas.</p><p>Petra. Gunther. Eld.</p><p>There were always more. In the days to come, I knew the list of names would grow longer.</p><p>I held Mike to me and allowed myself to grieve for a moment. We lost many Scouts in the 57<sup>th</sup> Expedition when Annie decimated the right-wing. We lost even more in the operation to rescue Eren. Brave soldiers fighting for a dream for humanity.</p><p>The discoveries in Ragako Village brought us one step closer. Ymir’s revelations brought us <em>leaps</em> further.</p><p>“The Survey Corps will rebuild. Squad Mike will be rebuilt – just like Squad Levi. Don’t lose hope, Mike. Not when we finally have the truth,” I said softly to Mike as I cradled him in my shoulder.</p><p>Mike chuckled. “You truly are the heart of this corps, Suzu. What would we do without you?”</p><p>When we parted, Mike looked stronger. He began looking like his usual self. He threw himself back into the discussion, interrupting Erwin where even Hanji kept silent. The meeting lasted nearly the entire day. I knew it would take even longer than that for us to completely accept this truth.</p><p>But we didn’t have the blessing of time.</p><p>“The wall hiding the truth is finally falling,” Erwin declared when he was finished recounting everything we learned from Ymir. It was time for us to decide our next actions.</p><p>“We have learned much from Ymir’s revelations. But there is still plenty we don’t know. How did the people of Ragako Village turn into Titans? Who did Eren consume to gain his abilities? The Nobles close to the King are the ones who likely know the truth – why is Historia important to them? How were our ancestors’ memories and beliefs altered to believe we were the last of humanity? What is the next move of the enemy Titan-shifters?”</p><p>Still so many questions left unanswered. It was unsettling.</p><p>“To get to the complete truth, we need to look two ways. Mike and I will turn our attention to the officials in Sina. Suzu, Hanji, and Levi will focus on Historia, Ymir, and Eren.”</p><p>As always, my husband made it sound so simple.</p><p>“We won’t stop until the wall hiding the truth is completely destroyed. We will find the answers to the questions left behind.”</p><p>“We will continue to offer our hearts.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! Actually managed to post more timely this week....but this chapter is very short haha! </p><p>I thought it would be very important to spend time covering Mike, since in canon, he's not supposed to be alive anymore. This chapter was important for identifying what exactly Squad Erwin knows and where there were still gaps. Even if they have Ymir, there is still A LOT they don't know. </p><p>There will be one more chapter like this before we finally, finally get into S3!</p><p>Thanks for reading, I'll see you next weekend!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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